Why the Hell do All the Bad Things Happen to Me!
by Murayama-Tsuru
Summary: Abuto wakes up one morning to find that he's been turned into a woman. Now he must find a way to reverse the transformation, lest the people he know find about it.
1. Ignoring Witches Only Brings Trouble

**Hello again or for the first time, Murayama Tsuru here. After a small break, I'm back with another Gintama Fanfiction! This one focuses on Abuto. I warn you now; this story is going to be slightly raunchier than my last one (you'll see why soon enough). If this offends anyone, I'm sorry, but I want to try this. So, without further ado, I bring you the first chapter.**

_**Disclaimer: I own the storyline for this Fanfiction, but, sadly I do not own Gintama; it is the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei**_

_Kamui and Abuto were on a mission in China. More specifically, they were told to investigate the cursed springs of Jusenkyo on the Bayankala Mountains in the Qinghai province of China. For some reason, the elders thought that it might be dangerous (how dangerous could a puddle of water be, Abuto thought snidely when he read the letter) and told Kamui to investigate. Kamui then promptly asked Abuto to join him. At first Abuto had vehemently refused, on the grounds that this wasn't a mission that required two people. Kamui then smiled maliciously and said, "Well Jiraiya-kun," Abuto winced at the nickname, "If you don't come with me, I'll have to report you to the elders."_

"_Wha? I've done nothing wrong, what's there to tell them?" But instead of answering him, Kamui's smile just widened. And that's when Abuto knew he'd lost; he'd have to accompany the admiral even if he did nothing wrong. Abuto groaned, but went to his room to get what he needed._

_So here he was, in China, on what seemed like a very stupid mission to investigate cursed…puddles. When the two entered Jusenkyo, they were greeted by a guide. He spoke to them in broken Japanese, "Welcome to Jusenkyo. You here for tour, yes? I show you around, let's go." Before either Kamui or Abuto could object, the guy started walking away, chattering away about all the 'features' of the cursed springs. Abuto and Kamui looked at each other and shrugged, deciding to follow the guy._

_After a while, Kamui started glowering at their 'guide'. Abuto chuckled to himself when he realized that Kamui was bothered by the man's speech. Hearing Abuto chuckle, Kamui turned his glare to him and hissed, "Do something about this Abuto, I can't stand the way he talks…it…reminds me of my sister…" the command losing its edge as he said this._

_Abuto smiled and snickered again, it was one of the very rare moments he saw Kamui as a little brother rather than the admiral of the Harusame Space pirates. He then turned to the guide and said in perfect Chinese, "Hey, you can speak your own language. We'll be fine, so go ahead."_

_The man nodded then said, "Ah, so you must be Yato."_

_Abuto raised an eyebrow in surprise, "And how would you know that?"_

"_I've always been interested in Amanto. So, I've done my research." Abuto snorted, but kept his comment on the topic of researching Yato to himself. The guide then went on chattering away in Chinese about what he thought about Yato._

_Soon the three actually reached the springs, then the guide pointed out which drowned in which spring. Abuto thought it very strange that animals, and people, kept drowning in these puddles. 'Wouldn't the smart thing be just to put a sign that says "be careful, standing water" here' Abuto thought. Abuto also felt particularly sorry for whoever fell into one that was the opposite of their gender._

_Soon, the guide's cellphone rang and he was called away on 'urgent' business at the foot of the mountain. Before leaving, the man warned, "I probably don't need to remind you, but if you fall into one of these springs your form will be changed drastically." The man then descended the mountain, leaving Kamui and Abuto by themselves._

_After a moment, Abuto turned to Kamui and asked, "Admiral was it really necessary for me to come on this trip. I see nothing dangerous about these springs It just seems to be a trap for clumsy people if you ask me."_

"_Na, Abuto," Kamui said, a sadistic smile making its way to Kamui's lips, "It's definitely not just for clumsy people. I brought you with me because I wanted to test something out. I'd do it myself, but that'd be way too boring."_

_And that's when it hit him. Kamui was probably planning to push him into one of the springs. Abuto turned a glare on Kamui, "Admiral, why me? Isn't there someone else you could push in?"_

"_No, not push Abuto," Kamui sneered, his grin growing wickeder; "You're going to walk in all on your own." And he started advancing on Abuto. Abuto, not quite understanding what he meant, took a step back for every step Kamui took forward._

_Abuto soon realized the mistake he made when he took a step back and the back edge of his boot touched water. Glaring at Kamui, Abuto growled, "You planned this didn't you?"_

_Kamui nodded his lips quirking up into a triumphant smile, "Indeed I did, Abuto. But, I'll be nice and take your umbrella for you so it doesn't get wet." And he took another step forward, extending his arm towards Abuto._

_On instinct, Abuto took another step back, skeptical of Kamui's outstretched arm. Groaning that he had fallen for the same trick twice, he let go of his umbrella and wheeled his arm around, trying to regain his balance._

_But it didn't work, and the last thing he saw as he fell into the water was Kamui infuriating grin. With a splash and a growl, Abuto entered the water. He could feel his body changing as he sunk into the shallow depths. He instinctively knew that this was the spring of the drowned woman and gurgled in annoyance. And then—_

And then Abuto woke up, in his room feeling annoyed. He turned to his side table, and looking at the manga on it thought, "That is the _last_ time I read Ranma ½ before bed!" he then looked at the clock and sighed; it was time for another day of running errands for Kamui.

Abuto sat up and realized he had worn yesterday's clothes to bed; but something was off. It might have been his imagination, but everything seemed a little baggier than it usually did. Abuto dismissed it, though, chalking it up to sleepiness.

Abuto then stood up, and running a hand through his messy hair, thought, "Ick, I need a shower. That dream really had me sweating."

He picked up a towel and went to his door. But before he got there, he stopped, thinking everything was a lot further away than it usually was. But, looking at the clock again, disregarded the thought, seeing he had less time than he wanted for his shower.

On the way to his own personal bathroom (for some reason, they gave him a bathroom; but it wasn't near his room, so it seemed very random), he heard the people he passed start to whisper. At first, he ignored the whispers, but then when someone whispered, not so quietly, "Hey, didn't that lady just come out of Abuto-san's room? I've never seen that before. I guess he finally got over the Kujaku Hime."

"SSHH!" Another Yato said, "He can probably hear you from his room, you're so loud…" Abuto didn't catch the rest of the sentence, though, as he kept walking. But now he was paying more attention to the whispers, they were all about some woman in his room. He really didn't get it; he hadn't had any…companions in his room in a very long time. And unless he'd been really drunk last night, he didn't remember any woman being in his room.

Abuto was very perplexed by the time he got to the bathroom. From what he heard, this woman was tall and willowy, with messy sand colored hair. She was wearing a black martial arts outfit, and though you couldn't really see it because of the clothes she was wearing, apparently, she had a 'nice rack'.

Closing the door, Abuto took off his cape. His arm then brushed over his chest and was met with a soft but firm, squishy texture.

"Eh…?" Abuto thought, "What was that?" he then took his shirt off and was greeted by the sight of two large, round breasts. He stared at them for a second, blinked and rubbed his eyes and looked again. They were still there, as big and round as the first time he looked.

"This is _not_ happening," Abuto thought, an angry flush creeping up his neck, "I must still be half asleep, if I'm imagining this. If I just take a look down there, I'll see that everything is as it should be."

Abuto then locked the door (you never know who could come barging in), and took a look. He was shocked alright; his scream reverberated throughout the entire ship.

Abuto sunk onto the bathroom floor, quivering and blushing furiously, "Why is this happening to me? I haven't done anything wrong! I've been working my ass off for the admiral, and looks what happens, I lose my manhood as thanks!…Calm down Abuto…Just think about what happened yesterday…" After a moment of thinking, he gasped, remembering something

_After the end of a particularly busy day, Abuto went over to the kitchen to see how dinner was doing. It turned out the chef was on holiday that night, so Abuto was appointed the guy to get food. It wasn't the easiest thing, feeding a ship full of Yato, and Abuto was feeling especially annoyed at being the one forced to do it._

_Lucky for him, though, someone told him about a restaurant that had popped up recently that would he would be able to get sufficient provisions at. The only problem was that it was a long way from the ship; Abuto was handed a map for his trouble and pushed out the door._

_After finding out that the map he was handed was outdated, and therefore useless, Abuto was forced to wander aimlessly around Edo looking for the place. After a long, frustrating walk, he finally found the place._

_But before he could enter, he was assailed a panicked looking man. His eyes were crazy with apprehension when asked, "Can you please help me?! There's somewhere I desperately need to get to!"_

"_I'm really sorry, man; I'm in a hurry right now. It where you need to go is in the direction I'm going, then go ahead and follow me, I don't really care. But, I don't have the time to go out my way to help you right now."_

"_You…" he glared at Abuto now, an unearthly fire seemed to light in his eyes, "You're only saying this because I'm a man, aren't you?"_

"_What?" Abuto scoffed, not wanting to deal with this crazy guy right now, "Even if you were the prettiest woman in the world, I would say the same thing. I just don't have the time right now." And he walked away, leaving the dude standing there._

_Once Abuto had finally gotten dinner enough for a large boatful of extremely hungry Yato (his wallet was considerably lighter now), he was met with an extremely angry looking woman who was wearing a Kimono that faded from white to dark blue._

_Once Abuto was almost passed the woman, she turned to him and growled fiercely, "You have failed my test, Yato Abuto."_

"_What are you rattling on abou…Oh, you're that guy from before. You must be a witch, being able to transform like that."_

_The woman nodded, and her glare intensified, but she said nothing. There was a pause and Abuto said, scratching the back of his head "If you still need to get where you wanted to get before, I have time now."_

_The woman shook her head and tsk'd, "As I said, you failed my test. So I place a curse upon you, Yato Abuto!" The world flashed, and ghostly purple fires lit all around Abuto. Then, after a second it was over…and nothing had happened._

"_Well that was…terrifying." Abuto said, suppressing a smirk, "If that's it, then I have to get back to the ship before dinner gets cold. Catch ya later, witch girl…or not, doesn't really matter to me." And Abuto walked away, unable to suppress his laughter anymore._

_Abuto then returned to the ship, ate dinner, and before bed read a volume of Ranma ½, making for a relaxing evening for once. _

Abuto groaned, coming out of his memory. Why the hell hadn't he just helped that witch person yesterday? If he had, he wouldn't be having these problems now, would he?

Shocked out of his self-loathing, Abuto heard a voice, "Oi, Abuto, you in there? I've heard some complaints about screaming women in your bathroom."

'Crap I can't have the admiral see me like this. I'd be to humiliating." Was the only thought that ran through his head when he realized who the voice belonged to.

**And that ends the first chapter. This may be a really dumb idea, but I want to see where it takes me. I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, and I hope to see you next chapter as well. As always, reviews are always appreciated; they really help the writing process.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	2. Abuto Has Way Too Much Fun Being Female

**Hey Murayama Tsuru here. I have returned with the second chapter of this slightly ridiculous story. For those of you who are confused by what happened with the witch; you should be. Don't worry, I'm confused about too, so I'll try and find an explanation later…ah…I wasn't supposed to say that…What I meant was that…all will be explained later…well anyway, here's the second chapter. I hope you enjoy.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei. But I wish I owned Gintama, that would make me a comedic genius!**_

Kamui was in his office when he heard the rumors. Frankly, he was pretty happy for his second in command; but he'd never say that aloud. If Abuto had finally gotten over Kada, that was probably a good thing. But then came a blood-curdling scream, and a small frown settled on Kamui's lips. Then the complaints came pouring in, which was when Kamui decided he had to do something.

It wasn't that what they were doing was…bad…exactly, it was more that Kamui liked to be the only really loud one…ok…that came out wrong, but that's beside the point. Abuto was the one being loud with his new girlfriend, and it was disturbing the peace. So Kamui stood up and went to Abuto's room.

But he wasn't there, and Kamui's eyebrows knitted in consternation, "If they're not doing 'it' in his room where else where wou…Abuto, that dog, he's becoming more and more like Hosen every day." Kamui chuckled as a light went off in his head

So Kamui then walked over to Abuto's bathroom, grinning. When he got there, he yelled, "Oi, Abuto, you in there? I've heard some complaints about screaming women in your bathroom." But there was no answer.

So, Kamui tried again, "Abuto, I know you're in there. If you and your girlfriend can't keep it down, I'll be forced to come in there and shut you up myself." But there still wasn't an answer. Feeling annoyed, Kamui glared at the door, willing Abuto to feel the force of his look through the thick wood. But that still didn't work.

So, Kamui did the rational thing and tried the doorknob, it was locked. Then Kamui did the irrational thing and kicked the door, having lost all patience with Abuto. But, no one was in the bathroom. A window stood open, though signaling that someone had probably left through it. Kamui's antenna twitched once, twice; and not sensing Abuto in the general area, Kamui turned around and left, feeling bored. The people who had watched this scene felt sorry for Abuto; because when Kamui actually found him, there would be hell to pay for sure.

* * *

Meanwhile, outside the ship, Abuto was in the water where the ship was docked. Mentally sighing in relief, Abuto thought to himself, "God, I'm glad there was window in that bathroom. I don't know how I would have escaped that situation otherwise."

But, Abuto's relief soon turned into a grimace as he surfaced. With a hiss, he took a breath and went back underwater. Abuto cursed himself for forgetting that he left his umbrella back in his room. He contemplated going back to his room and getting it, but decided against it in the end; with his rotten luck, he'd inevitably run into the admiral, and everything would just blow up in Abuto's face.

So, Abuto swam over to the concrete part of the harbor and hauled himself up as fast as he could; before the sun's stinging rays could have their way with him. This was a lot harder than one would think with only one arm.

Once Abuto was out of the water, he threw his cape over his head. He then stood, supporting the cape with his arm and started looking for a convenience store to buy a new umbrella.

Once Abuto actually found a convenience store (who knew there were none in the harbor). The only person in the store was a gangly teenager manning the checkout area (it was a really small convenience store). The boy's looked changed from extremely bored, to jaw on the floor lovestruck as Abuto walked by. Abuto hardly noticed, though, and walked straight to where the umbrellas were. He was rather disappointed by their selection; most were clear, or had unnecessary patterns on them and none of them had any sort of weapon at the tip. Abuto sighed, how anyone could find a decent umbrella on Earth, these seemed so completely worthless, hardly ably to keep rain away, much less the sun.

Abuto then spied a plain black umbrella and picked it up. He put it back almost immediately, though, because the frills on it made Abuto want to gag; who in their right mind would use this thing!

Abuto sighed again grumpily and chose one of the other opaque umbrellas they had; it was a blue, Chinese style umbrella with white ring at the top. When he took it up to the counter, the teenager who had been staring at him blushed fiercely and started trying to make conversation.

Abuto, growing impatient at the boy's stuttering, finally snapped, "Will you just ring up the damn umbrella already? I don't have time for your hormones."

The boy, only half registering what Abuto said, finally managed to ring up the umbrella and said a little dreamily, "thanks for reminding me what to do, miss. That'll be 500 yen."

Abuto reached for the wallet in his cape, but stopped when he realized something. With a coy smile, Abuto said to the clerk, "It seems as though I've forgotten my wallet. If you could, would you be able to help me out…?"

The boy blinked, "Um…I-I don't think I'm allowed to do that…"

"Well, think of it this way…" Abuto batted his eyes, laughing hysterically on the inside as the boy struggled to breathe, "Life is full of choices. And if you choose do to this for me; I'll make it worth your while."

The boy swallowed thickly, and then looked around to make sure his boss wasn't around. Seeing no one, the boy turned back to Abuto, a dark blush staining his cheeks. He then took out his wallet, and Abuto could practically see the thoughts running through his head.

Abuto, having seen enough, ruffled the kid's head. The teen gave Abuto a confused look as he took a thousand Yen note.

"Keep the change." Abuto winked as he turned and sashayed out the door. A low chuckle escaped Abuto's lips as he exited, sending tingles running up the clerk's spine; and leaving him knowing nothing else interesting would happen today.

* * *

Abuto, finally in a good mood, opened his new umbrella as he got outside. He started walking aimlessly, figuring he should probably try and find that witch again; but it didn't seem all that important at the moment.

As he was walking though, he began hearing wolf-whistles. He tried to ignore them, he really did, but it seemed as if the idiots were following him. Abuto kept walking, his good mood slipping away with every whistle.

Soon, it got annoying enough, that Abuto finally turned around, growling, "If you don't cut that out right now, you're really going to regret it,"

Not seeing anyone directly behind him, he lifted his umbrella and surveyed the surrounding area. There weren't too many people around that looked like they'd be so overtly annoying. And then his eyes landed on three high school dropout looking guys.

When the three saw that Abuto had spotted them, they started the whistling up again. Abuto walked up to them, glaring, and the one who seemed to be the leader called out in an arrogant voice, "Hey boys, looks like she finally caught on to us."

Abuto sighed, he really wished these three idiots would go away, but that didn't seem likely to happen any time soon. Abuto turned to leave, not seeing any point in staying if all they were going to was talk about him like he wasn't there.

But before he could get more than a step away, someone put a hand on his shoulder, and said in an almost threatening voice, "Hey, honey where you going? You gonna leave us without having any fun?"

Abuto sighed again; they really weren't going to make this easy, were they. He then turned around and said as coldly as he could, "I just came over here to see what those annoying sounds following me were. Now, I can see that your bark is worse than your bite, so I'll be going."

The grip on Abuto's shoulder tightened, but Abuto wasn't too concerned, he could take these three easily. One of the two lackeys then commented, "Hey, boss, she's got an umbrella. That must mean she's one of them Yate we've been hearing about. Heh, heh I bet she likes to play rough."

Abuto could not stop the groan that escaped his lips. He then ground out, annoyed, "You guys really are idiots. 'Yate', you've got to be kidding me. It's Yato, and yes, I'm proud to say I'm a part of that race. And if you don't remove your hand from my shoulder soon, you will learn the true meaning of the word."

"You're right, Kazuma. She sure does seem to be a feisty one. I'm sure it'll be even more fun to play with her now."

"If that's your idea of a compliment," Abuto snorted, "Then you are sorely mistaken. I hadn't realized that guys could be this obnoxious."

"You must be really sheltered if you just finding out now how persistent guys can be."

"No," Abuto said thoughtfully, "Not sheltered. I'm just seeing things from a new perspective."

To himself Abuto thought, 'If I find these guys annoying, I wonder what Kada thought of me…'

Abuto must have missed something the guy said because the next thing he knew; he was narrowly dodging a sloppily thrown punch. And the leader hooligan then began yelling angrily in Abuto's face, "You bitch, how dare you ignore me like that, and then dodge my punch like it was nothing."

Abuto gave the guy a withering look, "That's what you're mad about? No wonder you don't have a girlfriend, you get mad way too easily."

The hoodlum turned red in anger and started spluttering. Once he could actually make a coherent sentence, he glared at Abuto, furious, "How dare you make fun of the Yusuke of the Reikai gang! If you weren't asking for a fight before, then you sure are now. Prepare yourself, Yato woman!" Abuto grinned; this was going to be fun. If it was a fight these idiots wanted, then it was a fight they'd get.

Abuto took his stance as the leader came at him (he was amazed they weren't coming at him all at once). Now since Abuto had only one arm, and it wasn't raining so he needed it to block the sun, he used kicks as his primary method of fighting.

Once they hoodlum was close enough, Abuto kicked out. But, the kicked stopped short of Yusuke, which confused Abuto immensely. Abuto then realized that he had tried kicking Yusuke from the distance he would as a man. Abuto groaned, this was not going to be as easy as he thought.

Yusuke smirked seeing Abuto's kick had missed him, "Looks like this going to be an easy fight, boys. I'm bettin' I can take of her all myself. Then we can brag that these Yato aren't as good as they say they are."

At that, Abuto saw red. They were not going to get off insulting the Yato just because Abuto wasn't at 100% fighting condition. Abuto looked up to the sky and saw his chance.

The sun was hiding behind a cloud, so Abuto threw his umbrella up and ran toward Yusuke, who was still yuking it up with his lackeys. Once the poor leader of the Reikai gang actually noticed Abuto, it was too late. The punch hit so hard that he went flying, only half registering what had just happened.

The two lackeys watched in stunned silence as their boss landed hard behind them. Realizing what had just happened, they ran over to their unconscious leader, checking to make sure he wasn't dead.

The two then looked over at Abuto, who had retrieved his umbrella and was walking away. The one called Kazuma then yelled at Abuto, furious "We'll remember this you Yato bitch!"

Abuto chuckled and without looking back replied, "Abayo, Reikai Gang flunkies, I'll remember your sorry mugs as well."

Abuto then resumed his walk, his good mood reignited somewhat. He was thinking he'd go try his luck at a Pachinko parlor, when someone tapped him on the shoulder and an annoyingly familiar voice said, "That was some fight back there. I was a little worried for you, but I saw that you were a Yato, so I didn't step in to help."

Abuto turned and saw the silver hair he didn't want to see that matched with the voice he didn't want to hear. Behind him was Sakata Gintoki, grinning like the idiot Abuto thought he was. Abuto grimaced internally, thinking, 'This guy will be nothing but trouble for me.'

**And that is the end of the second chapter. I think this chapter brought out my sadistic side a little, but I couldn't help it! If I were in Abuto's position, I'd probably do the same thing. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as well and I hope to see you in the next one. As always reviews are always appreciated!**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	3. Gin Isn't So Bad After You've Meet Him

**Hey, Murayama Tsuru here. I've found, recently, that I have less and less to say for these author's notes now. So the next part of this note has absolutly nothing to with this story. I love you Gintama reviewers, you're all really nice...Unlike some certain guest Naruto story reviewers. Ah well, it's not that big a deal ^_^ so without further ramblings, I bring you the third chapter, enjoy!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it is the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei**_

_Last time on AbuTama, Abuto escaped the Harusame ship just as Kamui kicked down the door to his bathroom. Abuto then proceeded to flirt with young, susceptible teenage clerk and beat up Yusuke, the leader of the Reikai gang. Then, feeling in the best mood he had since he learned he was turned into a female by a crazy witch, he was accosted (well, that's the word he'd use anyway) by Sakata Gintoki who watched the fight. Well, that's it for the recap, if you want to know what happens next, read on!_

"So who were the poor suckers you beat up? I hate to say it, but I actually feel a little sorry for them." Gin asked, still grinning that idiotic grin of his.

Abuto scowled at the memory from about five minutes ago, "It was a small group of idiots who called themselves the Reikai gang. They're a bunch of morons whose name makes no sense. I mean, really, why would a gang call themselves the Spirit world gang? What do they do, go around terrorizing ghosts?"

Gin laughed aloud at that, "That's exactly what I thought when I first encountered them myself. So you fought the Reikai gang? Huh? They never learn do they?"

Abuto cocked his head to the side, not quite getting what Gin was saying. Gin chuckled and explained, "A while back, a brother of a friend of mine accidently pissed off the leader. That brother then beat up the stupid leader and the rest of the gang. I figured they would have learned not to mess with Yato anymore; but apparently not." Abuto nodded like this was the first time he'd heard this information; but actually Kamui had told him something similar a while back.

A not completely comfortable for Abuto silence fell upon the two. Abuto, wanting Gin to go away and not find out that he was Abuto transformed into a woman, said nothing, and just looked at him, hoping he'd take the hint and leave. Gin, not noticing that, thought the beautiful and strong Yato woman was checking him out. Gin mistakenly thought that Abuto was starting to like him because they were both perm-heads (well, hey, they both have similar hairstyles to me!).

After a while, Gin, scratching the back of his head, broke the silence, "Ah, that's right, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Sakata Gintoki. What's your name?"

"A…" Abuto started then stopped, realizing he was about to give his real name out of habit. Thinking fast Abuto started again, "A…Akari. Yeah, my name's Akari."

Gin gave Abuto a funny look for a moment, but then shook his head, dispelling whatever thought he had. He then stuck out his hand, a large grin appearing on his face again, "Well it's nice to meet you Akari. You sure do have an unfortunate name for a Yato, though."

Abuto squinted at Gin, but took his hand anyway and shook it quickly, resting his umbrella on his head. Abuto then said coldly, "If that's all you have to say, I think I'll be going now. I have more important things to do."

Abuto then turned around and began walking briskly away. But before he could get very far, he heard Gin's footsteps and almost apologetic voice, "Are you mad about the crack about your name? I'm sorry; I just thought it was kind of unfortunate that your parents would name you Akari, light, when you can't go out into the light without getting burned."

Abuto huffed, why was this silver-haired idiot complaining about the name he thought up on the spur of the moment. Abuto kept walking but replied sounding slightly annoyed, "Well my parents didn't name me Akari because I couldn't go out into the light. It was because I became the light of their world when I was born...or something like that." Abuto regretted saying that as soon as it came out of his mouth, it sounded cheesy even by his standards.

But Gintoki just nodded, "You must have had good parents then. I never knew my parents, so I don't know how I got my name. But, if I had to guess, it's probably because I have silver hair."

Abuto rolled his eyes, thinking, 'That's what I was going to guess too.' But he said nothing and the two kept walking in relative silence. Gin, every once in a while would tell Abuto something and they'd exchange a few sentences and then the conversation would come to its natural conclusion.

This happened for a few minutes, until Gin asked, "Hey, Akari, do you have a place to stay tonight?"

"No, I haven't quite figured that part out yet…" Abuto said, wondering where Gin was going with this.

"Well," Gin started sheepishly, a light blush forming on his cheeks, "I don't usually do this people I've met onle just met…but if you want you can stay at my house. It's not very big, but we have room for one other person, probably." Abuto chocked on the breath of air he just took in; that came out of absolutely nowhere.

After a small coughing fit, looked at Gin who was shifting from one foot to the other like a school boy with a crush; it seemed incredibly out of character. But instead of answering Gin, Abuto asked the first thought that popped into his head, "Where did that come from?"

Gin stilled, realizing that his question had indeed come a little too suddenly. The silver-haired Samurai stood in thoughtful silence for a minute then answered, "Well, you see, one of the other tenants living with me is also a Yato. I'm sure she'd love to have another Yato around to play with. If you don't feel comfortable freeloading with us you could help out with my Yorozuya business. We could always use the extra help."

Abuto thought about it for a minute, and still didn't understand why Gin was offering this to him. So, he came up with another objection, still not really wanting to take the offer, "But wouldn't it be dangerous for a man and a woman to live in the same house?"

Gin waved Abuto's objection like it was nothing, "Nah, it wouldn't be dangerous at all. You see at night it would be you, me and Kagura, the Yato living with me. If anything, I'd be the one in danger of being molested." He ended what he was saying with a wink, and Abuto felt something akin to disgust; was Gin really flirting with him? It felt really weird to have another guy act this way towards him; at least Gin wasn't as obnoxious as the Reikai gang.

"Well, there's someone I need to look for, so I don't know how much help I'd be." Oops, Abuto hadn't meant to say that, now the silver-haired Samurai was going to ask questions.

Predictably, Gin asked, "Oh? Who are you looking for?"

Abuto mentally berated himself; he should have known this was going to happen. He quickly prepared a lie, but the truth jumped from his lips of their own accord, "I'm looking for a witch. She cursed me for a stupid mistake I made. I need to find her and ask her to undo the curse."

Gin's eyebrows tented, but his next question was also predictable, "What kind of curse did she place on you?"

Abuto looked down and away from Gin, the lie coming easily this time, "I'd tell you, but…Part of the curse is that I can't talk about how the witch cursed me."

Gin nodded sagely, as if this was something he had heard before, "Then that's all the more reason for you to come stay with me! We can help you find this witch no problem!"

Before Abuto could protest further, Gin took his hand and dragged him in the direction of his house. Abuto could have resisted of he wanted to, but his resolve to not get involved with Gin had melted away. The path of least resistance seemed the least hassle-free at this point to Abuto.

Thinking about it, he had actually almost felt comfortable telling this silver-haired idiot the truth. And Gin seemed willing to help him. Thinking that, reminded him of what he had traded to get Gin's helpfulness. Abuto felt a strong prickle of emotion at the back of his eyes. Why was he crying? The logical part of his brain screamed at him, that this should only be about as bad as when he lost his arm during the admiral's fight with Hosen in Yoshiwara.

But there was a part of him, deep in his core, that knew he lost something terribly important him, and lamented his lose deeply.

Just as Abuto realized this, he felt Gin let go of his hand like it had burned him. Abuto blinked in confusion when he saw the accusatory look on Gin's face; what had he done?

Gin then yelled his voice shaky, panicked, and desperate sounding, "Hey, no crying now! If you don't want to come along with me, all you had to do was say so…!"

Abuto suddenly remembered something Kada had told him a long time ago; tears are one of a woman's greatest weapons. And Abuto found that statement to be true; he had fallen prey to that to that very weapon many a time himself. And now, he realized that Gin was trying not to succumb to it as well.

With a sniff for dramatic effect, Abuto said, "It's not that Sakata-san…I was just thinking about the witch's curse again…"

"Ah," Gin nodded, looking extremely relieved, "It must have been some curse then, huh?"

Abuto nodded, but said nothing; still feigning sadness and Gin continued, "I just want to get one thing straight, you're not opposed to staying with me right…?" Abuto managed a smile then, nodding.

The rest of the walk was conducted in silence; Abuto thinking that this wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. It seemed a lot easier than spending money on an expensive hotel that probably wouldn't be that good anyway. Also, he could see how the Yorozuya conducted business, and report it to whoever wanted to hear it to gain favor. And, having more sets of eyes looking for the witch girl would probably be a lot better than Abuto just looking by himself.

Once they actually arrived at Gin's house, though, Abuto panicked a little. It occurred to him that Kagura might be able to recognize him by his killer aura; that was how she recognized him the first time they met (that and the fact he was using an umbrella underground).

Gin announced their arrival when they were in the door, and the glasses brat (Abuto couldn't remember his name) replied, "Ah, Gin-san you're just in time for lunch." Taking off his boots, he looked at Abuto and pressed a finger to his lips, indicating that he wanted Abuto's presence to be a surprise to the other housemates.

When Gin and Abuto entered the kitchen/living room, Abuto looked at Shinpachi and felt a little bit guilty for what he did during their fight in Yoshiwara; but he wasn't guilty enough that he was going to give any sort of apology. Deep in his almost-regret, Abuto almost missed Shinpachi's surprised gasp, "Gin-san! You brought home a woman? How did you manage that…Miss, if he dragged you here against your will, I'm really sorry about that. You're allowed to leave whenever you want..."

Gin chuckled haughtily at Shinpachi, "You think I coerced her to come here with me? You're dead wrong Pattsuan! She's our latest customer. She's been cursed by a witch and needs our help."

Shinpachi looked at Gin skeptically and Gin said a bit nervously, "I swear, I'm not lying…You tell him Akari-chan!"

Abuto nodded, "He's right, I was cursed by a witch. Sakata-san here generously offered to help me out and a place to stay." Shinpachi still looked skeptical, but before he could say anything Kagura came bounding in.

When Abuto saw Kagura his right shoulder throbbed and he flashbacked, again, to the fight in Yoshiwara. Interrupting his thoughts, Kagura said enthusiastically, "Shinpachi did you say Gin-chan brought home a women? I'm so proud of him, uh-huh!"

'What? That was a strange reaction, doesn't this guy help people out all the time?' Abuto thought. But before he could voice his opinion, he found Kagura staring at him intently.

After a moment of what seemed to Abuto like an inspection, Kagura nodded and smiled up at him, "Heh heh, Atta boy Gin-chan. I always knew he had an eye for the pretty ones, uh-huh. I'm Kagura. I think we're going to get along just fine, uh-huh!" and she extended her hand to Abuto.

Abuto took it and smiled, "Nice to meet you Kagura, I'm Akari."

'Well at least she didn't recognize me' he thought with relief behind his smile.

**And that ends the third chapter. Yeah, I know the summary at the beginning probably wasn't necessary but I felt like putting it in! So…well…that's it, I still have nothing else to say. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as well and I hope to see you all next time. As always reviews are always appreciated, I love to know what you guys think.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	4. An Afternoon With The Yorozuya Is Crazy

**Hello again, Murayama Tsuru here. Here's the fourth chapter, it has plenty of ridiculousness to keep you all laughing…I hope…On a completely unrelated note, I finished Brent Week's latest book, **_**The Blinding Knife**_**, earlier this week. It is an amazing book, you should all go read the first one as soon as you're finished with my chapter!...What? That has nothing to do with Gintama? You want me to get on with the chapter already? Oh, fine, here it is! I hope you guys enjoy ^_^**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-sensei.**_

"_This_ is your umbrella Akari-chan?" Kagura yelled indignantly from the short entrance hall. After she had shaken Abuto's hand she when to inspect the things he brought with him. Abuto knew his umbrella wasn't great, but he didn't think it was that bad.

"Well…I lost my other umbrella…and this was the only one I could find that wasn't clear…or frilly…so…" Abuto tried making excuses and failed completely. But when Kagura came back in, Abuto was surprised to see that her eyes were glittering happily. She was holding Abuto's cheap convenience store umbrella to herself possessively and exclaimed, "This is one of the prettiest umbrellas I've seen, uh-huh! Where'd you get it?"

Abuto shrugged, not quite getting what was so special about his new, non-Yato umbrella, "I got it at the convenience store. It was cheap."

"Gin-chan, Gin-chan will you buy me one? Akari said they were cheap so it should be ok!"

Gin rolled his eyes, "No Kagura, you don't need a new umbrella, you have a perfectly good one already."

Kagura pouted at that, and glared at Gin, "I bet if Akari asked you, you'd buy her one just like that."

While Abuto scoffed internally, Gin spluttered and turned red, "N-no…I would not! B-besides, she wouldn't ask me, she just got a new umbrella!"

Kagura's frown deepened and Abuto thought for a second that Kagura was going to throw a tantrum. But after a second, the pout was gone and Kagura's eyes lit up again as an idea came to her, "Akari, since Gin-chan won't buy me a new umbrella, wanna trade with me?"

Abuto chuckled; he was reminded at how similar Kagura was to her brother. They were both so insistent about the things they wanted.

Abuto was about to assent to the trade (It wasn't a bad deal; he'd get a better weapon, she'd get something she wanted), but Shinpachi spoke up, exasperated, "Kagura-chan, don't pester Akari-san into something she doesn't want to do," he then turned to Abuto and said, "I'm sorry Akari-san, please forgive Kagura-chan, she's a very willful girl. You don't have to trade umbrellas if you don't want to."

Abuto chuckled again; it was funny to see Shinpachi being the sensible one. He had only met the boy once, but he hadn't seemed very sensible then; charging at a Abuto with a spear in hand, not the best idea in the world. He then said to Shinpachi, "Don't worry about it, Shinpachi-kun; I don't mind trading with her."

Shinpachi's eyebrows tented, but he backed off, leaving Abuto to conduct the slightly unfair trade if he wanted to. Abuto then turned to Kagura and smiled, "As I just said, I'm willing to trade with you. But I just want to let you know that if you make the trade, you'll probably have a harder time fighting. You know this isn't a Yato umbrella, so long-range gun-fighting won't be possible. Since I've been around longer than you, I can handle that, but is that what you want?"

Kagura nodded, but hesitated. She looked at Abuto's umbrella, then looked at hers a little ways away. Then, she nodded again and handed Abuto's umbrella back to him. Tucking his umbrella under his arm, he ruffled her hair and grinned; she'd made the right choice, even though he hadn't really wanted her to make that choice. Kagura grinned back, then went over to the kitchen table for lunch.

Once Kagura was seated, Abuto opened up his umbrella, wondering why Kagura had wanted it so badly. As he spun it around slowly, he blanched; the umbrella wasn't plain after all. As it turns out, the white bubble at the top was supposed to be a moon. And somewhere near the bottom, there were some rabbits looking up at the moon. Abuto sighed, "This is just my luck isn't it? I try to choose a plain umbrella and I get one with a ridiculous pattern." But, deciding not to dwell on it, Abuto closed up his umbrella and went to the table for lunch.

* * *

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. There were no customers, which, from the Yorozuya trio's actions (reading Jump, watching some show called Ladies' Four, cleaning), was a normal occurrence. But, just as Abuto settled in to one of the vacant chairs, he heard a knock. At first Abuto thought it came from the door, but, when he looked at the door there was no shadow. Then, something black appeared in his peripheral vision.

Abuto turned in the direction of the black thing and saw a person (Abuto couldn't tell whether the person was male of female) with long black hair and a duck…penguin?...thing at the window. Gin sighed then got up. He opened the window and scowled, "What do you want Zura? I imagine you're running from the Shinsengumi again?"

This 'Zura' person gave Gin an indignant look, "It's not Zura, It's Katsura. And yes, I have managed to escape those Shinsengumi bastards once again! So...could you please let me in, Gintoki? If you do, I'll give you a chocolate flavored snack."

Gin rolled his eyes, but backed away from the window. Seemingly elated, Zura (Yeah, Abuto preferred that name to Katsura) fell, somehow gracefully, into the room. The duck-penguin thing, not so much fell, as flopped into the room. When Zura stood up, his eyes landed on Abuto and his eyebrows skyrocketed. He turned to Gin with a sly look on his face, "Gintoki, you silver-haired, natural permed dog, you've finally brought a woman home with you!"

Both Gin and Abuto huffed, and Gin said, "You're wrong, Zura! She's our newest customer, I-I don't have any ulterior motives!"

Zura ignored Gin and walked over to Abuto, "Hello, miss, it's nice to meet you. My name is Katsura Kotaro and—"

"Are you male or female?" Abuto interrupted bluntly

"Excuse me?" Katsura asked, stunned because someone interrupted his monologue

"Ah, well you see," Abuto said scratching his cheek, "Since your hair's so long, I can't tell what your gender is."

Katsura looked flabbergasted; like no one had ever asked him a question like that before. Seeing as Katsura was unable to answer Abuto's question, Gin snorted and answered for him, "Although Zura may not look it, Akari-chan, but I can assure you that he's male."

At Abuto's raised eyebrow, Gin colored and started explaining, looking embarrassed about having to recount this particular story, "Well, you see…When we studying under Shoyo-Sensei, I was forced to take a bath with Zura when I, ah, accidently pushed him into a lake in winter. Needless to say, I never did that again…"

At a pointed look from almost everyone in the room (except Elizabeth, you really couldn't tell where she was looking), Gin amended, "I never did that again in winter, anyway." Silence ensued, as no one could think of anything to say. Even Elizabeth's sign had a "…" on it.

Suddenly a deadpan voice came in through the window, shattering the silence, "Oi, Katsura we know you're in there. If you don't come out in ten seconds I'm going to blast you with my bazooka." Then several things happened at once. Gin bolted over to the window and shouted something like, "NOT AGAIN!" and slammed the window shut so hard, it rattled in its frame. Then Katsura, coming out of his trance when Elizabeth wacked him with a sign that said, 'Katsura-san, we have to go now! Those Shinsengumi bastards found us!' turned to Abuto and bowed to him with a wink, Abuto's past trangression forgotten.

Katsura then turned to Gin and said, "Gintoki, I bid you farewell. Thank you for letting me take refuge in your house again!" He then turned to leave. But before he got to the door, Katsura started patting a giant dog that Abuto just noticed, murmuring something like, "Oh, Sadaharu-dono, I didn't see you there."

With about three seconds left on Bazooka boy's warning, Gin yelled, "Zura, what the hell are you doing? If you ever want to come back here again, get out now!" Katsura, regaining his somehow lost senses, nodded, and flew out the door, Elizabeth on his tail.

After a few more seconds, there was something that sounded like an explosion, maniacal laughter that could only be Katsura's, and then a belated, "It's not Zura, it's Katsura!"

Once the subsequent explosions were out of earshot, Abuto gave Gin an almost bland look that said, 'You're kidding me? Is this a regular occurrence here?' Gin chuckled nervously, but said nothing in response. The rest of the day, then, actually did go on uneventfully.

Then came dinner. Since a guest was over, they decided have Nabe. This being the first time Abuto had ever eaten Nabe before, he was looking forward to trying something new. But, unfortunately, what could have been a nice dinner, turned into a free-for-all; and Abuto did not feel ambitious enough to insert himself into the competition.

Just when Abuto's stomach was getting ready to rebel against his lack of ambition, he heard a bowl clink down in front of him. He looked up to see Gin had filled Abuto's bowl for him. Abuto gave Gin a grateful smile, trying to ignore Gin's returned wink, and started chowing down.

After dinner, Shinpachi left (mumbling something about how now he wouldn't have to eat his sister's cooking), leaving Kagura, Abuto, and Gin to their own devices. After a while, Gin suggested that he and Abuto share a drink. For some insane reason (read: Abuto needed some Sake, after a long day), Abuto agreed.

But, his drinking was cut short when Kagura asked a question, "Akari, do you want to take a bath with me?"

Abuto chocked on the gulp of Sake he just took (why did these people have such bad timing with their awkward questions?), he started spluttering; where the hell had that come from? Not hearing an answer right away, Kagura explained, "Well…You see…It's been a long time since my mother died. But when she was alive, we'd take baths together."

'Well duh,' Abuto thought, 'that's what mothers do. Hell, I took baths with my mom when I was a kid. But this is totally different!'

Abuto turned to Gin to see if he had any objections to Kagura's plans. But he clearly didn't, since his nose was already starting to trickle blood. Abuto turned back to Kagura and grinned, "Sure, why not. I need a bath anyway."

Abuto took one last look at Gin and asked coyly, "Sakata-san, would you like to join us?"

The trickle turned into a steady flow very quickly, after Abuto said that. Gin, noticing this, colored and pinched his nose shut, as to staunch the blood flow, "N-no, I don't think there's any need for me to be there too. Y-you go ahead Akari-chan."

Feeling a thrill of sadistic pleasure pulse through him, Abuto got up and followed Kagura to the bathroom. On the way there, Abuto was thinking of all the ways he could prevent himself from being outed as male. But then he realized something; he was female, that wouldn't be a problem.

But then Abuto realized another problem, how was he going to react seeing Kagura naked? He took a discrete once over of Kagura and sighed in relief; she was still a kid, so his body would most likely not have any reaction to her that would embarrass him. So Abuto went into the bathroom feeling confident that nothing could go wrong.

* * *

A little while later, Abuto came out of the bath feeling violated. He'd been right; there had been no reaction to seeing Kagura nude. But Kagura had certainly had a reaction seeing him. She had, after washing his back, squeezed his breasts and commented on how big they were. Abuto, asking her what she was doing, had been surprised to learn that this was something that happened in Shojo manga often.

'But we're not in a Shojo manga' Abuto had wanted to protest. But he couldn't say anything, knowing his protests would be shot down. So, when the two were actually in the bathtub, he tried to stay as far away from Kagura as he could. Sensing, his discomfort, Kagura had eventually apologized, saying that that was something she had always wanted to try; but since she didn't usually take baths with her female friends, the opportunity never came up.

When Abuto exited the bathroom, he found Gin waiting in the living area with blankets in hand. Seeing Abuto, Gin grinned and asked, "So where do you want to sleep, Akari-chan? The Futon or the couch?"

"The couch is fine." Abuto said immediately, not needing to think about it

Gin cocked his head in confusion, "Are you sure you don't want to sleep on a Futon? You're welcome to one, we have extras."

Abuto waved a hand in dismissal, "Nah, I'm fine with the couch. I'm imposing on you guys, so it only seems fair to me."

Gin opened his mouth to protest, but then decided against it and set up the blankets on the couch. Gin then waved Abuto a goodnight and went into his room. Kagura also bid Abuto a good sleep from her closet (Abuto had no idea how to explain that) and went to bed herself.

Looking at his made up couch-bed Abuto sighed; it had been a tiring day. First he learned that he had been cursed by a crazy witch, then he escaped the admiral's prying eyes, and finally he had run into the Yorozuya trio. Now was definitely a good time for sleep, who knew what tomorrow was going to bring. Maybe, if he was lucky, he'd find the witch who cursed him. With that thought, Abuto fell into bed and to sleep almost right away.

**And that is the end of the fourth chapter. Next chapter we will meet the witch again. And she will, maybe, explain why she cursed Abuto. But you'll just have to wait until next week for that, Muahahahaha! (Ah…forgive me, I got carried away) Well anyway, until then please review, I love to hear what you guys think.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	5. Mornings In The Yorozuya Are Also crazy

**Hey, Murayama Tsuru here. I'm back with the fifth chapter! Also, on a not so very unrelated note, today I bought Gintama volume 46 in Japanese! It features Obi One and the slightly cheesy (I think so anyway, I haven't read it in English) starwars knock off. Well, I just had to announce that to you guys, even if you don't really care (but, hey, this time it was Gintama related!) And now, on with the fifth chapter!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

Abuto woke with a curse on his lips. His dreams had been filled with witches, curses, and annoyingly flirty guys. He sat up, looking for the clock on his nightstand. And, not finding it left Abuto momentarily confused. But, the room was too dark and Abuto was too tired to care about where he had just woken up; it wasn't the first time he found himself in a place he didn't recognize.

Abuto decided that now would be a good time to find out where he was because no one else seemed to be awake. Bleary-eyed, He then walked over to a door that he thought could be the bathroom, it just looked like that kind of door. But when he opened it, he saw a familiar clump of orange hair on what looked to be a pillow. Abuto blinked in recognition, 'I see the admiral is here as well, must not be such a mysterious place after all."

After a second, the one of the 'admiral's' brilliant blue eyes opened and 'he' said in a rather feminine voice, "Akari? What do you want? It's too early for this, uh-huh…"

Did the admiral just call him Akari? Abuto brushed it off, though, as the admiral's usual morning mood. There had been this one time that Abuto had tried to wake Kamui up for an early morning meeting. Let's just say that Abuto attended the meeting in Kamui's place with two black eyes, some cracked ribs, and an arm that would probably need to be looked at by the Harusame doctor sooner rather than later.

Realizing 'Kamui' was now glaring at him for taking too long for answering 'his' question, Abuto said hastily, "Ah…admiral, could you tell me where the bathroom is? I haven't quite got the layout of this place down yet. And since it's dark and, as you said, early, I don't think I'll be able to find it without help. Could you help me out?"

'Kamui's' groan seemed to say 'It's too damn early for you to be using so many words, Abuto.' But then there was a shuffling noise and a small, pale hand appeared and pointed in the direction the bathroom must be in. Before Abuto could thank the 'admiral' or apologize for waking 'him' up, the closet door slammed in his face. Abuto just shrugged though; at least there were no broken bones this time.

Abuto went in the direction the 'admiral' pointed, but instead of a bathroom, Abuto opened another door to a bedroom. The room was, in polite terms, messy. There were stacks of Shonen Jump, empty ice cream cartons, various candy wrappers, and broken alarm clocks of various shapes. Abuto wondered why he didn't find the state of this room surprising.

While he was thinking about this, he absent-mindedly started scratching his chin. But he soon stopped when he didn't feel the usual prickle of stubble on his fingers. Abuto didn't remember shaving recently; he was pretty lazy about that particular hygiene related practice, didn't quite find it necessary. And, as he rubbed his chin, slightly desperately, for that familiar scratchy feeling, yesterday's memories flooded back into him.

And the memories came back just in time too. Abuto looked up as he heard Gin's voice, "Ah, Akari-chan, what'cha doing here? Looking for some…company?"

Abuto chuckled quietly, it was indeed too early for this, "Um…no. I wasn't here for that Sakata-san. I was looking for the bathroom and Kagura-chan pointed me in this direction, guess she was tired. So, could you tell me where the bathroom is?"

"Sure," Gin said smiling slyly, "I'll do it on one condition."

Abuto raised a slightly irritated eyebrow, "And that condition would be?"

"That you call me by my first name. There's no need to be so formal with me, we're all friends here."

Abuto balked at the plainness of Gin's request. But after a moment, Abuto shrugged and nodded, "Sure, I'll call you by your first name from now on…Gin-san."

Abuto then watched in slight horror as a shiver ran up the Silver-haired Samurai's body. Unfortunately, Abuto knew this reaction all too well. Whenever Kada had said his name, he had reacted very similarly. But, Abuto chose to ignore Gin's increasingly annoying reactions toward him and instead asked, "So, Gin-san why are you up so early today? I figured you were the type of person who slept in until someone dragged you out of bed."

Gin suddenly started avoiding Abuto's gaze, choosing to look past Abuto rather than at him, "Haha…I guess I am the type to sleep in until someone forces me out of bed. At least, I pretend to be that kind of person…" Gin trailed of then and Abuto took an involuntary, irritated step forward to get a better look at Gin.

Abuto immediately recognized the hollow sort of look in the natural perm's eyes; he'd seen the same look in Kamui whenever he'd been woken up by his own nightmares. Abuto felt an irrational urge to say something to comfort Gin, but he stopped short when a pleading expression fleeted across Gin's face. The look seemed to say, 'So you know why I was up. Please don't say anything; I really don't want to talk about it.'

So instead, Abuto said, "Gin-san, where's the bathroom again? If I don't go soon, I think I'm going to burst."

Gin gave Abuto a grateful smile and pointed to where the bathroom was, "The bathroom's right be the main entry, just exit my room and it's a straight shot from there. If, after you're done, you wanna come back and chat some more, I certainly wouldn't mind."

Abuto rolled his eyes, "Sorry, I think I'm going to try and get some more sleep instead. See you later in the morning, Gin-san."

Abuto then left rather quickly, to avoid more early morning flirting. Now, Abuto actually did have to pee,so he walked over to the bathroom. While he was relieving himself, he realized something; he'd called Kagura the admiral. Abuto desperately hoped she was too sleepy to notice or remember his slip of the tongue. If not, well, he was screwed.

Once Abuto was done in the bathroom, he walked back to his couch-bed, hoping he could get some more sleep. Abuto slipped the covers over his head, closed his eyes, and hoped sleep would overtake him soon. After about five minutes, Abuto shifted position, trying to get more comfortable. It didn't really work, so he tried shifting position again. This happened a few more times before Abuto threw the blankets off himself and stood up in a huff. 'Tch, so much for getting any more sleep. The admiral has me too well trained.' Abuto thought to himself, annoyed that he wasn't going to get any more sleep until night came again.

So, Abuto went over to the kitchen area and did what he usually did when he got up early like this; he made breakfast. Living with Kamui, Abuto learned pretty quickly how to cook. It was a good thing that Kamui wasn't too picky, as more often than not Abuto would accidently burn whatever he was cooking.

As Abuto cooked breakfast for Kagura and Gin (Shinpachi too, of he got there early enough), he lost track of time and the morning moved on without him noticing.

The next thing he knew, Abuto heard the front door open. A second later, Abuto heard a small gasp and looked up to see Shinpachi staring at him open-mouthed. Abuto raised an eyebrow, was it really that strange for someone to be cooking?

At Abuto's raised eyebrow, Shinpachi's mouth shut with a snap. And, after a second of awkward silence, Shinpachi said quietly, "Um…Akari-san…It's burning."

Abuto growled and turned back to the pan. The omelet he was cooking was, indeed, burning. Abuto Tch'ed, and then dumped the burnt omelet onto a waiting plate. Abuto sighed, "Alright, so this one will be mine. Thanks Shinpachi, if you hadn't distracted me, this wouldn't have happened."

Shinpachi flinched and started explaining himself, "I-I'm sorry Akari-san. I usually do the cooking around here, so I was just surprised to see someone else cooking. You should give me the burnt omelet; it was my fault after all. Or better yet, why don't you just throw it away?"

"No, no, I should have been paying more attention. Sorry for yelling like that. And wasting food isn't good, so I'll eat it."

"You know," Shinpachi said, a knowing smirk making its way across his lips, "You could probably get Gin-san to eat it, if you really wanted to."

Abuto gave the boy a withering look, so he'd noticed the obvious flirting as well, "Yes, I'm perfectly aware that I could convince that silver haired idiot to eat the burned omelet. But I don't particularly want to. It really wouldn't sit right with me."

Abuto then thought to himself, 'A guy flirting with me, I can deal with. It's creepy, but tolerable. But I don't feel like degrading myself by getting a guy to eat something I burnt. That would be emasculating.'

Abuto heard Shinpachi chuckle, and turned to him a scowl forming on his lips. Shinpachi, smug smirk still in place said, "Wow, you're a lot nicer than the other females we know. If I had told that to Tsukuyo-san or my sister, they would have forced whatever they had burnt on him in a second. I see you're almost done cooking, shall I go wake up Gin-san and Kagura-chan?"

Abuto nodded numbly and watched Shinpachi walk over to Gin's room thinking, 'I knew the women on this show were scary, but not that scary. I guess I haven't had enough screen time to get acquainted with them.'

Regaining his senses, Abuto watched the comedy of Shinpachi trying to get Gin and Kagura out of bed. Even though, Abuto knew Gin had probably been awake this whole time, he'd made a loud lecture about how Shinpachi shouldn't wake them up before noon. And Kagura had practically beat Shinpachi to a pulp when he tried to wake her up. It eventually took the combined efforts of Gin and Abuto to separate the younger members of the Yorozuya trio.

Once everyone was up and gathered around the table, Abuto started serving up breakfast. Breakfast was an assortment of various western and Japanese foods. There was miso soup, rice, and an omelet. When Abuto was handing out the omelets, of course Shinpachi and Kagura chose the non-burnt ones. But then, when Abuto was about to hand the other non-burnt omelet to Gin, he took the burnt one instead.

"Wha? Hey, what do you think you're doing? I was trying to give you the one that wasn't burnt." Abuto growled indignantly

Gin just shrugged, though, "Well I wanted this one, Akari-chan. You can have your unburnt omelet, I like mine with a little more flavor, thank you very much." And Gin sat down at the table without letting Abuto say another of objection.

As Abuto sat down with his own food, he saw out of the corner of his eye, Shinpachi giving him a conspiratorial wink; Abuto groaned, why was this happening to him? But he decided to ignore the wink and breakfast was eaten in silence.

After breakfast, Kagura asked Abuto to train with her. She told him that she usually trained by herself, so it would be a nice change of pace to spar with someone else. Abuto liked that idea; he needed to relieve some stress, and sparing with another Yato was the perfect way to do so.

The two were sent outside, so as not to break everything in the house, both Shinpachi and Gin had said. Luckily, it had started raining so they two Yato could spar with all the weapons they had at their disposal. Once the mock fight got started, Abuto had to make sure that he didn't lose himself and actually end up hurting her.

As the fought went on, Abuto realized something; it seemed suspiciously similar to their fight in Yoshiwara. Actually, it was going in the same direction as their fight in Yoshiwara, except Shinpachi wasn't there to make Kagura lose herself to her blood and go on a wild rampage.

Kagura seemed to realize the same thing Abuto realized soon after, because after their next clash of umbrellas, she stopped and asked, "Akari, have I fought you before?"

"Uh…N-no, of course you haven't fought me before. I-I just met you yesterday…"

"But when we were sparring, it felt so nostalgic. I wonder why?"

'Nostalgic is not the word I'd use,' Abuto thought

"And another thing," Kagura started, making Abuto jump, "This morning, did you call me 'admiral'?"

"What?" Oh crap, she'd heard him and she hadn't been tired enough to forget, "Wh-why would you think I called you that? L-look at the time, I think I'm going to go take a bath now. See you inside, Kagura." And Abuto then dashed inside so as not to give himself away.

When Abuto got back inside, he heard Shinpachi practically yell, "Akari-san stop right where you."

That made Abuto's heart sink into his stomach, had he figured out that 'Akari' was Abuto? But then Shinpachi said, "You're soaking wet. If you'd taken another step into the house, you would have gotten everything wet!"

Abuto heaved a mental sigh of relief, he hadn't been found out after all. He then started taking off his wet clothes, Shinpachi was right, Abuto may not be the most polite Yato around, but trailing wet clothes inside was one of the things he couldn't stand.

But before, he could take off his shirt, he heard Shinpachi say nervously, "A-Akari-san, what are you doing? Let me get you a towel!" and Shinpachi ran in the other direction.

Huh? Abuto paused, what was the glasses brat so flustered. Oh, right, Abuto had almost forgotten that he wasn't male right at the moment. He'd inadvertently given the hapless Shinpachi a striptease. Oops, he should probably think next time he planned on taking his clothes off.

Shinpachi soon returned with a towel, a familiar-looking white Kimono, and a black jumpsuit looking thing. Shinpachi explained, seeing Abuto's confusion, "Gin-san told me that you didn't have any other clothes and that you could wear one of his spare Yukata while I wash your clothes. So…here you go." Abuto accepted the clothes, then went into the bathroom to dry off and change.

Once Abuto came out of the bathroom, Gin was outside waiting for him. Gin then said excitedly, "Wow, my clothes suit you! Glad I mentioned it to Shinpachi. Now, c'mon, let's go!"

Before Abuto could ask where they were going, Gin grabbed his hand and dragged him out the door. After a while, Abuto finally managed to ask, "Gin-san, where are we going?"

Gin let go of Abuto's hand and said with a grin, "I knew Shinpachi wouldn't approve of this if I told him. But since we're out of the house, I can tell you. We're going to a Pachinko parlor. I don't usually have very good luck there, but with you around, I'm feeling unusually lucky."

Abuto couldn't object to that, he hadn't had the time to play Pachinko in a long, long time. It was high time he had some fun. So, Abuto followed Gin eagerly to the Pachinko parlor.

At the Pachinko parlor, Abuto was doing well for once. He usually didn't have much luck at places like this, so it was nice to be winning for a change. Gin, on the other hand, was also having luck today, but not as much as Abuto. He eventually complained loudly, "Akari-chan, why are you doing so much better than I am?"

Abuto turned to Gin and grinned, "Woman's intuition, Gin-san, woman's intuition." Gin and Abuto both laughed at that and went back to their games though.

After some more good luck with his Pachinko machine, though, he was kicked out of the building for winning too much (or some such crap like that). As he was being led out the door, he yelled to Gin, "Gin-san, you don't have to leave on my account. Stay as long as you want, I'll just be waiting outside."

So outside Abuto waited. He was just beginning to become bored when he saw a familiar white to dark blue Kimono. He sucked in a breath; it was the witch that had cursed him!

Without thinking about Gin, Abuto ran after the witch. He followed her to an alley ('well, now that's a coincidence isn't it?' Abuto thought as he entered the alley) and shouted, "Oi, witch girl, stop!"

She turned around and blinked at Abuto, "Who are you?"

**And that ends this chapter…What? You wanted a confrontation with the witch? Well too bad, that comes next chapter! I have to keep you guys hanging somehow, don't I? Ahem…anyway, next chapter we will learn why the witch cursed Abuto. Well, until next time, then. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as well. And if you did, please review! I love to know what you guys think!**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	6. Mistaken Curses and Drunken Revelations

**Hey, Murayama Tsuru here. Here's the sixth chapter ^_^ you guys will finally get your confrontation with the witch girl! Also, the Gintama Anime has returned! I watched the first episode and I was so happy I could have cried! I really missed watching the Anime. Anyway, without further ado, here's the sixth chapter!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei. I wish I did own Gintama, though, that would be really cool.**_

"What the hell do you mean 'who are you'?" a vein throbbed on Abuto's forehead as he glared at the witch girl. How the hell had she forgotten about him? It had only been a little over 24 hours since she cursed him!

The witch girl blinked at Abuto innocently, "But we've never met before. Isn't 'who are you' the proper question in that situation?"

Abuto's eyes narrowed further and he felt the beginnings of one hell of a headache coming on, "You can't be serious…You met me, no, you cursed me the day before yesterday and now you asking me who I am? How bad is your memory?"

The witch girl took another look at Abuto and started tapping a finger on her chin thoughtfully. After a minute, she said, "I think you have me confused with another witch. The person I cursed yesterday was a male Yato. And while you're clearly a Yato, you're also clearly not male."

"Yeah," Abuto gestured to himself, "I noticed I'm not male right now too. You know whose fault that is? Yours!"

"Oh," realization dawned on the witch girl's face, "so that's the form you took on because of the curse I placed on you."

"What did you just say?" Abuto asked, furious, not quite understanding what he was hearing

"You see, I've never actually cursed a Yato before. I'm glad to see it worked the way it was supposed to."

"You're glad to see it worked?" Abuto almost yelled, "What would have happened to me if it hadn't?"

"It's a spell that turns the target into what they desire the most. I don't actually know what would have happened if it hadn't worked, that was my first time casting the spell." That made unfortunately little sense to Abuto. He didn't really desire women all that much; they tended to cry too much for his liking. There had only woman he had really wanted, and she was now sitting in a jail cell, crazy as hell.

Abuto was brought out of his thoughts when the witch girl began walking around him, her eyes inspecting all she could see. By the time the witch girl had made a full circle around him, he felt naked and exposed. The witch girl took one last look at Abuto's body and then grinned up at him, "Well at least you make for a pretty woman. Things could have turned out much worse."

Abuto's eyebrow twitched, "I don't particularly care how I look as a woman. I'd like you to lift the curse on me, so I can go back to my normal life."

"Sorry, I can't do that." The witch girl said without pause, her eyes becoming serious.

"Why not?" Abuto growled, his patience starting to wear thin

"For two reasons, really," The witch girl started, "One, if I undo the curse, they won't trust me with a job like this again. And two, my specialty is foresight. The first time I ever cast a curse was on you. I don't quite have dispelling curses down yet."

"Any why exactly did you decide to test your cursing abilities on me?"

"Because I need to get 'them' to trust me. If I didn't curse you, I wouldn't be let into that group and I wouldn't be able to take them out from the inside."

"What are you talking about?" The witch girl was starting to make less and less sense to Abuto

"Wait…You don't know?"

"No, obviously I don't know. I if I did, I wouldn't be asking."

"You mean, you really don't know? Uh oh…You aren't the Yato known as the greatest sweeper in the galaxy are you?"

"No, I'm too young to be him." Abuto said, bored; maybe he should happy to be compared to the great Umibouzu. But, somehow, being compared to bald old man just didn't seem very flattering.

At Abuto's answer, the witch girl blanched, "But…the picture they showed me looked so similar to you as a man…Are you sure you're not Umibouzu?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Once, my previous boss said I looked a little like him, but I'm pretty sure he was just telling me that so I'd work harder."

"Then…" The witch girl said, "I-I've made a terrible mistake. How did I not foresee this?" Then tears started welling up in the girl's eyes and Abuto felt the slightest bit sorry for her.

"Well, all you have to do is lift the curse and all will be forgotten."

The witch girl seemed to think about this possibility for a minute, but then she shook her head, "No, I can't do that. Since the pictures are so similar maybe they won't be able to tell the difference. Sorry Abuto-san, you're going to be stuck that way for a little while longer."

"Wha?" Abuto shouted indignantly, he was so close, it had seemed, to becoming male again, "Why are you doing this to me witch girl?"

"My name is Mikazuki Tsumi, not witch girl. I need that organization to fall no matter what, so in order for me to do that they have to trust me enough to let me in."

Abuto glared at the witch girl again, but before he could protest or yell at her anymore she waved at him and said, "Goodbye, Abuto-san. The next time we meet will be in the witches' base in Yoshiwara. I hope you enjoy your time as a woman until then."

She then disappeared in bright flash, leaving Abuto thinking, 'Why the hell does a group of witches have a base in Yoshiwara?'

* * *

Gin exited the Pachinko parlor feeling pretty happy, he'd won more than he usually did; must be thanks to Akari-chan's lucky effect. It was too bad she was kicked out when she was, he had a feeling that if she'd been able to stick around, he would have won even more. As the automatic doors closed behind him, Gin looked for Akari. She wasn't right outside the door, and Gin became slightly worried. What if something had happened to her? Gin chuckled at that thought; she was a Yato, if anyone tried to harm her she could probably take care of them easily. She was probably just going to the bathroom or something.

So, Gin stood outside the Pachinko parlor waiting for Akari to come back. While he was waiting, the rain from earlier started up again and he Tch'ed, why hadn't he brought an umbrella with him? He hoped that Akari would come back soon. The overhanging roof of the Pachinko Parlor only gave so much protection…and it would be nice to be able to share an umbrella with Akari-chan. Gin started imagining what that would be like.

_She'd walk up to the Pachinko parlor, see him and call out, "Gin-san, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Shall we head back?"_

"_But, I didn't bring an umbrella with me. How about we just wait for the rain to end?" He'd say _

_Then she'd blush and avert her eyes from him. After a while, she'd say shyly, "G-Gin-san, w-would you like to come under my umbrella?" He'd pretend to think about it for a while when, of course he'd agreed to the plan the moment it left her lips. Once he saw the apprehension on her face, he'd smile and join her under the umbrella._

_Then the two would begin the walk back to his house much slower than necessary, enjoying each other's silent company. Once the two were almost at the house, she would say, a light blush tinting her cheeks, "Gin-san, I know we've only just met, but I've wanted to do this with you ever since I met you…"_

_His eyes would widen, and a blush forming on his cheeks as well, would say, "M-me too, Akari-chan." He'd then lean over and kiss her on the lips. Time would stop for the both of them at that moment. When he'd eventually pull away, he'd look at him, her lips still slightly pursed, her eyes full of longing and say, "Again…" he'd do as she requested and kiss her again. Then they would walk the rest of the way to his house up to his room and not come out the rest of the day._

Gin blinked and felt his face heat up as he came out of his fantasy. It had been like something out of a Shojo manga, but then again Gin was pretty naïve when it came to the ways of women (he only knew the crazy ones, and tried to stay the hell away from them as much as possible).

Still half-lost in his fantasy, Gin saw Akari walking toward him. She had her umbrella down, and the rain was streaming off her face in such a way that it looked like she was crying. It might have been his imagination, but her shoulders looked a little hunched.

When she saw him, she gave him a small nod and then called out, "Oi, Gin-san, sorry to have kept you. Shall we head back?"

Gin's ears perked up at the sound of her voice, could his fantasy be coming true? Hoping it was, he answered the way he had in his head, "But it's raining Akari-chan. And I didn't bring an umbrella with me. Why don't we wait 'til it lets up?"

Instead of suggesting that they share her umbrella like she did in his fantasy, Akari extended her umbrella toward him and said, "Here, you can use mine. I prefer to walk without one when it's raining."

Feeling slightly discouraged, he took the umbrella. As soon as it was in his hands, Akari turned and started walking briskly back toward Gin's house. By the time Gin had opened up his umbrella, Akari was a fair ways away and he had to jog to catch up with her.

Since she hadn't waited for him, Gin decided something was wrong so he asked, "Akari-chan, is something wrong? You seem tense."

Her shoulders tensed further, but she kept on walking; her face was turned away from his so he couldn't see her expression. Eventually she said, "While you were in the Pachinko parlor, I saw the witch that cursed me. So, I followed her and tried to get her to undo the spell. It turns out she cursed me on accident; she thought I was someone who looked a like me when they were younger."

"So, did the witch undo your curse?" Gin asked after Akari made no move to finish her recollection

"No," Akari said and her shoulders slumped, "apparently she's trying to infiltrate some witch organization. And to gain their trust I need to remain cursed. And, if I want to be un-cursed, I have to meet them in their base in Yoshiwara."

Gin had almost no idea what to say to that. So, he asked the obvious question, "Why is there a witch organization based in Yoshiwara?"

Akari laughed ruefully at that, "I have no idea, Gin-san. I wanted to ask her that myself, but she left before I had the chance." And the rest of the walk back to Gin's house was silent, both Gin and Abuto wishing their outing had gone better.

* * *

When the two got home, Shinpachi had asked Abuto where they went, but he really didn't have the heart to recount his tale of meeting the witch again, so he left the explaining to Gin. Abuto was still sulking, so he sat down on the couch and watched TV with Kagura.

The afternoon soon turned into evening which soon turned into night with Abuto moving mechanically through it. Soon Shinpachi left for the night and Kagura decided to go to bed early. Not really feeling like being alone with Gin, Abuto announced that he was going downstairs for a drink. He had notice that the bottom floor of the building of Gin's house was a bar, and Abuto needed a good couple of drinks to forget the day he'd had.

When he sat down at the bar, he was greeted by an old lady in a black Kimono. As the old lady handed him his first bottle of Sake she asked, "So, are you the new customer I've been hearing about?"

He nodded, and took a sip of his Sake, "Yep, but there hasn't been much luck so far. I'm still cursed. If anything, the situation's only gotten more complicated."

The old woman chuckled, "As usual, he's going to get himself into trouble, all for a pretty girl. When the time comes, let him down gently, will you?"

Abuto raised an eyebrow and was about to ask what she was talking about, when the old woman had another customer to attend to just then. So, Abuto kept drinking bottle after of bottle of Sake, not talking with anyone.

Once Abuto was quite drunk, he heard someone pull out the chair next to his. He looked over to see Gin giving him a worried look. Abuto probably gave Gin a very unladylike snort as he said, "Akari-chan, are you sure you should be drinking so much?"

"What?" Abuto said, surprised that he still had his full speech capacities, "You're the type that thinks women can't drink as much as men, eh?"

"No," Gin chuckled nervously, "that's not it at all. All the women I know seem to be able to drink a scary amount. It's just, y'know, drinking too much isn't good for you, that's all."

"I'll have you know that we Yato have a very high alcohol tolerance!" Abuto said emphatically. Just to prove his point; Abuto went to take another sip of his Sake, but before he could Gin took the bottle away from him.

An indignant noise escaped Abuto's lips, but Gin didn't give the bottle back, "I really think you've had enough, Akari-chan."

A drunken grin then spread across Abuto's face, "I ge' it now," he said the alcohol finally starting to affect his speech, "you don' wan' your image o' 'Akari-chan' ta' be taint'd do ya?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Gin asked, confusion plain in his voice

After a peal of drunken laughter, Abuto said, "Y'see, I kno' your type all too well. Ya'll want your women ta be all perfect an' sweet an' stuff like that. Well, I'mma let you in on a li'l secret. My name in't Akari, it's Abuto."

As the confusion grew on Gin's face, Abuto continued, "I was curs'd by a witch, see? She turned me into a woman by accident. She Thought I 'as Umiboz when he way young'r. So, Y'see, you're helping not Akari, but me, Abuto, Kamui's slave."

As Abuto watched Gin's confusion turn to shock and then horror he giggled one more time and then promptly passed out on the table.

**And that ends the sixth chapter. I really mean am aren't I? Leaving you hanging with Abuto revealing himself like that. Well, you guys will just have to wait 'til next week to see what happens ^_^ but until then, you could always go read my Takasugi story, The Day Time Stopped. Apparently I did a really good job portraying Takasugi. But anyway, please review if you'd like, I always to love to hear what you guys think! Until next week then**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	7. When In Denial, Drink Lots of Sake

**Hey Murayama Tsuru here. I'm back with the seventh chapter of this silly story. I don't really have anything to say right that won't give away parts of the story. And I don't want to give out spoilers! So, without further ado, I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

When Shinpachi left for the night and Kagura went to bed early, Gin had been hoping to spend some alone time with Akari to cheer her up. Ever since they had returned from the Pachinko Parlor, Akari seemed to be functioning on auto-pilot. Gin figured she must be really bummed out about the curse for her to shut down emotionally like she did.

So, when Akari announced she was going down for a drink at Otose's bar, he let her go without a word of complaint. Sure, he was a little disappointed that he couldn't spend the time "bonding" with her. Since, Akari had been denied the dispelling of her curse; it was understandable that she wanted a drink alone. He would probably do the same thing if he were in her situation.

Once Akari had left the apartment, Gin sat down on the couch and too another look at this week's Shonen Jump. He hadn't quite gotten a close enough look at it yesterday; Akari commanded his attention way more than Jump did. Once Gin started reading the manga, he got lost in the comforting familiarity of Shonen Jump and forgot all about Akari.

Gin looked up at the clock once he'd finished his Jump, about an hour and a half had passed since he started and there was still no sign of Akari. But, he decided not to go check on her just yet though, because when he went out drinking, he stayed out for hours at a time. So, he shouldn't be too worried, she was just downstairs after all.

Approximately five minutes later, though, Gin was at the front entrance of his house, putting on his shoes, thinking, 'screw solitary drinking, I miss her already!'. He then headed out the door and down the stairs to Otose's bar, ready to drag Akari back to the house if need be.

When he entered the Otose Snack House, he found Akari right away. Then his eyes landed on the amount of Sake bottles she'd already consumed and his eyes widened to the size of saucers. Almost swooning right there on the stairs, Gin thought a bit dreamily, "She can really hold her liquor, a girl after my heart she is indeed." But then, taking another look at the numerous Sake bottles, he figured she'd up being like drunk Tsukuyo. And that was a very scary thought, so Gin decided to curb Akari's drinking before if got too bad.

So Gin descended the rest of the stairs. Then he pulled out the chair next to where Akari was sitting and sat down. Hearing the noise of chair being pulled put, Akari looked over at Gin and Gin said a little worried that Akari was going to be wrathful drunk,"Akari-chan, are you sure you should be drinking so much?"

"What?" Akari looked confused for a minute. Then she gave Gin a very unladylike snort and said, "So, you're the type that thinks women can't drink as much as men, eh?"

"No, that's not it at all." Gin chuckled nervously; this was not going well "All the women I know seem to be able to drink a scary amount. It's just, y'know, drinking too much isn't good for you, that's all."

"I'll have you know that we Yato have a very high alcohol tolerance!" Abuto said emphatically, pretty much ignoring what Gin just said. Then, as if to prove her point; Akari picked up her Sake bottle again and went to take another sip. , Before he could even think about what he was doing, he grabbed the bottle away from her.

An indignant noise escaped Abuto's lips, but Gin decided not to give the bottle back, "I really think you've had enough, Akari-chan."

After another indignant noise escaped Akari's throat, drunken grin then spread across her face, "I ge' it now," she slured drunkenly, "you don' wan' your image o' 'Akari-chan' ta' be taint'd do ya?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Gin asked, not getting where this conversation was going at all

After a peal of drunken laughter, Akari said, "Y'see, I kno' your type all too well. Ya'll want your women ta be all perfect an' sweet an' stuff like that. Well, I'mma let you in on a li'l secret."

She then leaned closer to Gin, her hand cupping her mouth so she could keep what she was saying 'private'. Gin could now see the drunken flush dusting her cheeks and smell the sweet Sake on her breath; damn, she was making it really hard for Gin to concentrate on what she was saying, "My name in't Akari, it's Abuto."

Gin couldn't believe his ears, that couldn't be true, couldn't it? As the confusion grew on Gin's face, Akari continued, "I was curs'd by a witch, see? She turned me into a woman by accident. She Thought I 'as Umiboz when he way young'r. So, Y'see, you're helping not Akari, but me, Abuto, Kamui's slave."

After watching the emotions fleet across Gin's face, Akari giggled one more time and then promptly passed out on the table. Gin sat and stared wide-eyed at "Akari-chan", it felt like he'd just been punched in the gut. What had she just revealed? Gin wanted so badly to not believe her. But, unfortunately, in his experience drunks didn't lie. This was not good; he was falling for a guy. And not just any guy, that weird guy Kagura said she fought in Yoshiwara.

Something broke in Gin then, and he refused to believe the musings of a drunk girl. Gin massaged his temples and then called out to Otose, "Otose-san, can we get some more Sake over here. I have a feeling I'm going to need it."

* * *

Abuto groaned and opened his eyes a crack at the sound of a voice; why did the light have to be so damn bright, didn't it know he was hungover? The voice spoke again and Abuto squinted up to see the lady in the black Kimono standing in front of him. Seeing that Abuto was actually looking at her now, she said, a little sternly, "Akari was it? We're closing up so could you take him upstairs? I would have asked him, but I couldn't wake him up and you are a Yato, so you're probably stronger."

Abuto's eyes blinked to his right and he saw Gin passed out in the seat next to his. He then blinked back over to the old lady and nodded to her, "Sorry we caused so much trouble. I'll get him upstairs right away…" Abuto then stood up, picked Gin up, and slung him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Abuto then ascended the stairs slowly, because every time he took a step, he head throbbed in protest at having to be jostled when he had a hangover.

When Abuto finally made it back to Gin's house he wandered over to Gin's room to deposit on the floor. But when he got to Gin's room he saw a serendipitously already made Futon. Forgetting the he was in Gin's room and that Gin was slung over his shoulder, Abuto collapsed face first into the soft expanse, falling asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Gin woke up the next morning to something soft but firm pressed against his side. He looked around to see that was snoring away under him completely unaware that her rather large bosoms were pressed up against him, distracting him much more than he'd like. How could she be so defenseless, didn't she knew she was in the same room as a guy?

Speaking of which, why was she even here? What had happened last night? Gin barely remembered anything except going down to get Akari-chan from Otose-san's bar. The only conclusion Gin could come to was that this was a very, very nice dream. And if this was indeed a dream, there was only one course of action that Gin wanted to take.

Gin then inched his way up to Akari's head as unobtrusively as possible. Yes, this might be a dream, but waking someone up was rude no matter reality or dream. Once he'd finally made it to his destination, he was happy to say that looking at her lips up close were even better than from far away. And since this was a dream, there was nothing wrong with what he was about to do. Besides, even if she didn't wake up in his dream, stealing a kiss was better than nothing.

Gulping in slight apprehension Akari'd wake up and his dream would turn into a nightmare and she would hate him, he lowered himself down onto her (again as slowly as he could so as not to wake her up, for some reason that just seemed like a bad idea). He almost melted ay how wonderful her lips were. They were so wonderfully soft and molded to his lips so nicely that he really didn't want to stop.

But he knew he should, this was wrong. He was taking advantage of a sleeping woman in his dreams, how pathetic could he get? Was he really that starved for female attention that he resorted to attacking them in his dreams? With a mental sigh, Gin began lifting his lips from Akari's soft ones. But as he moved up so did Akari.

Gin was so surprised; a small moan escaped his lips. He could feel Akari's smile against his lips as her arm snaked around his neck and she deepened the kiss. This dream was turning out better than he thought. Akari was a very good kisser, if Gin did say so himself. It seemed like she'd done this before, and Gin was ok with letting her take the lead.

Just when Gin was getting comfortable with his position on top of Akari, her arm released the back of his neck and grabbed the collar of his Kimono. The next think he knew, Gin was on the floor and Akari was now fully on top of him, her chest distracting him way more from his angle. Gin moaned again as Akari's lips pressed down hard against his.

But, his moan must have been too loud, because a second later her eyes flew open. After about another second of awkward stillness, her eyes grew panicked and she leapt off him like he was on fire and fled the room, leaving Gin feeling rather cold and hollow. Gin sighed out loud, some dream this turned out to be. Then, suddenly he pinched himself to make sure this actually was a dream. But, no, of course, the pinch hurt like hell and Gin was left with the realization that he'd actually kissed Akari. Well, crap, this was going to make things very awkward.

* * *

Shinpachi and Kagura saw the whole thing. Well actually, only Shinpachi saw the whole thing. Once the kissing started, he'd covered her eyes with one hand and her mouth with the other once she started complaining.

Shinpachi had arrived early to the Gin's house. He had thought it was strange that Akari wasn't sleeping on her couch bed, and even stranger that Kagura was looking through Gin's door like some sort of stalker. He walked up to Kagura and she sensed his presence and turned around, a finger to her lips. She then motioned Shinpachi to come over to the door as well.

Shinpachi was tempted to ignore Kagura and get on with his day, but the temptation to know what was going on in Gin's room was even greater. After he walked the two steps to where Kagura was, she started whispering low and quickly, "Last night, before I'd fallen asleep, I heard Akari say she was going for a drink. About an hour and a half later, I heard Gin-chan leave as well. Well, then I fell asleep, uh-huh because no one was there to wake me up. But then I was woken up by them coming back, and I opened my door just in time to see both of them go into Gin-chan's room. SO I decided to spy on them, and see in anything interesting happened, uh-huh. But so far, they're just being boring and sleeping."

Shinpachi mentally face palmed at the last part of Kagura's explanation. Gin and Akari had probably already done the 'interesting' thing Kagura wanted to see and were now sleeping of hangovers. But, Shinpachi decided to indulge Kagura and spy on the two of them with her.

When Shinpachi looked into the room, his face flamed up immediately; they were in such a suggestive pose from the Megane-virgin's point of view. Akari was sleeping normally on and Gin, being the pervert he was crawling up toward her lips. Shinpachi wanted to say something, he really did. But he didn't because he was too engrossed with watching their steamy make-out.

Then, Akari for some reason jumped off Gin and ran toward the door. Shinpachi was so flabbergasted by what just happened that he had about a second to dive out of the way of the sliding door before it slammed open and a bright red Akari barreled out of the room. Shinpachi was ready to make an excuse as to why he and Kagura were now on the floor, but he didn't have to. Akari ran right past to them without taking any notice and right into the bathroom.

The rest of the morning was awkward to say the least. During breakfast, Akari and Gin didn't talk to each other, much less look in the other's direction. Also, both Shinpachi and Kagura didn't really want to say anything, knowing they'd be yelled at by either if they knew the two younger Yorozuya members had been spying on them.

Eventually Shinpachi was unable to take the silence anymore and he asked Akari hesitantly, "A-Akari-san, there's an Otsu-chan concert playing today, would you like to join me? I-I heard that Gin-san took you to a Pachinko parlor, so I was wondering if you'd like to go somewhere classier with me…"

Akari visibly relaxed when Shinpachi asked this question and agreed immediately. The tension in the room seemed to ease a little then, as Akari left kitchen table to get ready for they concert.

* * *

At first going to a concert and getting away from Sakata Gintoki had seemed like a good idea to Abuto. Being in the house with the guy he just kissed would have been way to awkward for him to stand. The only reason he'd let the kiss go on so long was because he'd thought Gin was Kada. Abuto had not expected it to be Gin. And the way he'd run out of the room like that had only made things worse.

But Abuto realized his mistake as soon as the concert started. The concert was one of those extremely loud affairs that made the headache from Abuto's hangover just grow worse. After a few minutes, Abuto made some excuse to Shinpachi in order to escape the loudness. But Shinpachi seemed too busy cheering Otsu on to hear him. So he probably wouldn't be missed.

When Abuto left the concert hall, he breathed in the fresh air of the outside world. That place had been way too stuffy for him. Now it was time to relax somewhere nice and quiet until the concert was almost over then sneak back in so Shinpachi wouldn't notice that he'd left in the first place.

But just as Abuto found a shady bench to sit on, he heard a somehow familiar voice address him, "Oh, Abuto-dono, is that you I pray thee. I dare say, what are you doing here when you should be on the Harusame ship?"

**And that ends the seventh chapter. I'm not very good at writing romance, so I hope Abuto and Gin's kiss wasn't too bad. I wasn't actually planning on doing this in the beginning, but then the chapter just turned out that way! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as well. And I left you hanging again! Muhahaha, I have to keep you guys hooked somehow, don't I…ahem, well anyway that's it for this author's note. Please leave a review if you liked this chapter and I hope to see ya'll next time as well. Well, until next week then.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	8. Cracks Begin to Form in 'Akari's' Façade

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I bring to you all the next chapter! I didn't think I'd make it this week because I just finished Cinda Williams Chima's latest book The Crimson Crown. The plot decided to run around in my head and block almost all thoughts of Gintama. Why is it that while Brent Weeks augmented my writing, Cinda Williams Chima all but stopped it? I don't know the answer! So, with that, here's the next chapter!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei**_

Abuto sighed gratefully as he sat down on the bench a ways away from the concert hall; he never how great silence was until that very second. But unfortunately the silence just wasn't meant to last for Abuto this time when someone started speaking, "Oh Abuto-dono, I pray thee, is that you? I dare say, what are you doing here when you should be on the Harusame ship?"

A chill ran up Abuto's spine, who was this guy and how did he know who he was? Abuto hadn't gone around advertising who he was, if he did he's probably be ridiculed for dropping his guard around a witch like he did.

Abuto decided to stay calm, play dumb, and find out who this guy was. If worse came to worst, Abuto could probably beat the guy up without much trouble, no one would have to know. So he turned towards where he thought the voice came from, a fake smile and an 'I don't know who this Abuto person you're talking about is' on his lips.

But both words and smile died when Abuto was met with headphones, sunglasses, and spikey blue hair. 'Damn,' Abuto thought, a scowl threatening to replace the dying smile, 'I know this guy. He works for the one-eyed man the admiral is so keen on fighting.'

Abuto then debated with himself on what to do with headphones (the man's name eluded Abuto, he thought it might have something to do with that ridiculous Japanese tradition of cutting trees to make them smaller, but that couldn't be right. So, in the end, Abuto decided to call the man headphones). Should he continue his plan to play dumb or should he hush the headphones wearing Shamisen player before the fact that Abuto was female could make its way back to the admiral's ears?

In the end, Abuto thought it would be better to go with his original plan. Though Abuto wouldn't mind killing the blue-haired man (he had an annoying habit of listening more to music than people), he figured he might as well know why headphones knew who he was, if he actually did know who he was.

Abuto may be itching for a fight, but now was not the right the right time. So, with a forced confused voice, Abuto blinked up at headphones and asked, "I don't know who this Abuto person you're talking about is, but he'd no me. As you can see, I'm a woman."

Headphone's eyebrows scrunched together and his head cocked to the side, the picture of confusion, "I'm sure I didn't hear wrong, though. Your soul-music is very similar to his then, I dare say."

Abuto's eyebrow arched, "Soul-music? What the hell are you talking about, headphones?"

There was a pause, an eyebrow twitch, and Abuto realized his mistake, "On a closer listen, the music of your soul is exactly the same as Abuto-dono's. Are you sure you're not him?"

Abuto opened his mouth; hoping headphones wouldn't catch his next lie. But before Abuto could even get a word of defense in headphones started talking again, "Don't bother trying to play dumb, Abuto-dono, it won't work. Calling me headphones was your mistake; I dare say you are the only one who calls me that. When will you learn that my name is Kawakami Bansai?"

Abuto sighed; sarcasm really wasn't going to be his friend right now, was it? Of all the things to be found out by, the music of his soul was not something he usually had to worry about. Why had he run into the one guy he knew who could hear it?

Cursing his immense bad luck, Abuto sighed again, "Ok, fine, I won't bother hiding it then. What are you doing here then Head…Bansai, if not to out me to your boss?"

Bansai shook his head, "No, I did not come here to out whatever secret you have right now. Nor am I interested, I daresay. I'm here as Terakado Tsuu's manager, we have plans to make after her concert is done. Finding you was a coincidence."

"Ah…So you're the genius behind Terakado Tsuu…anyway, what had the admiral done now that would warrant me needing to be at the ship?"

Bansai nodded, "Shinsuke has told me that everyone is frantic to find you. Kamui, Shinsuke tells me, has basically thinks this is all a crazy game of hide and seek, he destroyed many a room looking for you. Shinsuke thinks that if you are not found soon, the whole ship is going to go down in flames."

Abuto face-palmed, leave it to the admiral to think he was playing a game of hide and seek with Abuto. If he wasn't female, Abuto would go back to the ship right away, ready to take whatever punishment Kamui could think of because Abuto 'hid' too well. But he was still male, so the ship would have to suffer for a little while longer.

Abuto then realized he'd kept Bansai waiting for his answers with his thoughts so he said, "Well that's too bad isn't it, I have no plans to back until this curse is lifted."

Bansai raised an eyebrow again, "What curse would that be, Abuto-dono?"

Abuto silently cursed his wagging tongue, why was he so loose lipped today? It was probably just the aftereffects of too much drink that was when Abuto tended to talk too much after all. "No curse, slip of the tongue. Sorry about that."

"If you say so. I guess I'll just go report our meeting with Shinsuke. Who knows what he'll do with that information. Perhaps relay it to a certain irritated admiral?"

"Ah…" of course, Abuto should have seen this coming. Maybe Abuto should use some of his 'feminine charms' on Bansai to dissuade him from going to the one-eyed man. But then again, that probably wouldn't work because Bansai actually knew Abuto was male on the inside. If anything, it might just drive Bansai away to his precious boss's side faster.

"Fine," Abuto ground out as if the words left a bad taste in his mouth, "What can I do to get you to not tell your boss?"

Bansai nodded, "Well, you can start by telling me about this curse."

"It's a long story."

"I have time, I dare say. Otsu-san's concert doesn't end for a while yet." And he sat down on the bench next to Abuto.

* * *

Shinpachi exited the concert hall feeling the way he usually did after every Otsu concert. There seemed to be nothing that could dampen his great mood at the moment. And then he realized that Akari wasn't with him, crap. Shinpachi went back into the concert hall to make sure she hadn't gotten trapped inside, by the people exiting.

But she wasn't there, and Shinpachi exited again feeling slightly worried. Gin would probably kill him if he went back without her. Shinpachi decided not to panic, though, he doubted that she could have gone very far if she left before he did.

So Shinpachi started wandering around the nearby places. For some reason there was a Pachinko parlor near the concert hall. Shinpachi went in, thinking maybe Akari had liked playing Pachinko after all and wanted to be there instead of the concert. This may be understandable, Shinpachi forgot that she had been out drinking with Gin the night before and therefore was probably hungover when he'd asked her to the concert. She had probably just said yes because she was trying to avoid Gin after that kiss this morning.

But no, there was no Akari in the Pachinko parlor. Shinpachi did find a very guilty looking Gin, though. When Shinpachi asked why Gin was there, he mumbled something about the concert seemed to be going on for a long time so he thought something may have happened.

Then Gin noticed Akari wasn't with Shinpachi and glared at the glasses wearing boy, "Pattsuan, where's Akari-chan? I thought she'd be with you."

Shinpachi chuckled nervously, "Well…So did I. But I then realized she probably had a hangover from drinking with you last night. So, maybe she's around somewhere sleeping it off or something."

Gin raised an eyebrow, like that was the dumbest excuse he'd heard from Shinpachi yet. But then he thought about it, and it actually sounded plausible, Terakado Tsuu's concerts could be unbearably loud.

So the two left the Pachinko parlor to continue their search for Akari. They wandered around for a while with no luck, until they stumbled into the park. Gin obviously looked like he wanted to run up to Akari and ask her why she was there. But then he stopped short and Shinpachi couldn't figure out why.

Shinpachi, confused walked up to where Gin was, trying to see what had made him stop like that. What he saw made him cringe and bite back a surprised gasp. There was Akari with a man wearing sunglasses and headphones and carrying a Shamisen on his back. Shinpachi immediately recognized him as Kawakami Bansai, Takasugi Shinsuke's associate from the Shinsengumi crisis arc (please refer to Gintama volumes 19 and 20…I think…).

Shinpachi saw that Gin's eyes had narrowed into a glare and his hands were now fists. It looked like Gin was about to go over and clobber the Shamisen player when he and Akari stood up. They shook hands and the man said, "I guess I should be going now. And I believe your friends aren't too fond of me. It was nice chatting with A…kari."

Akari's head tilted in confusion, as if she was expecting the blue haired man to call her something else. She then turned her head and her eyes landed on Gin and Shinpachi. Shinpachi thought he saw something akin to panic surface in her eyes for a moment. But as soon as he saw it, it was gone, and he turned back to the blue haired man, a smile on her lips, "I hope you don't spread what I told you to your boss. It needs to stay secret just a little longer."

Bansai raised an amused eyebrow and said nothing, leaving Akari looking a little miffed as he walked away. She then turned to Gin and Shinpachi, "Ah, Shinpachi…Gin-san, how long have you guys been here?" Was is just his imagination, or was Akari trying to hide something?

Shinpachi noticed that Gin's glare hadn't gone away nor had his fists un-balled, so Shinpachi decided to answer Akari's question for the both of them. But before he could get a word in, Gin growled jealously, "Long enough to know that you were having a secret meeting with your boyfriend. Did you come to spy on us for Takasugi?"

Shinpachi had expected Akari to look ashamed or guilty at Gin's accusation, but he had not expected her to start laughing. It seemed to bubble out of her like relief that they hadn't found out what she didn't want them to know. After a while, Akari wiped her eyes, caught her breath and said, "Me and headphones? No, that would never happen. He'd an acquaintance from work. I ran into him when I left the concert for some fresh air."

While Gin looked immensely relieved, Shinpachi was a little suspicious of what Akari just said. So Shinpachi asked, "Akari-san, does that mean you work for Takasugi-san?"

Shinpachi thought he saw Akari's eyes harden for a moment, but then she smiled slightly and said, "No, I've worked with him before. But never for him thankfully, he seems like a taskmaster. He'd not someone I particularly liked working with." She then walked around the bench and past Shinpachi and Gin, "C'mon guys, let's go back. I bet Kagura's wondering where we are."

Gin and Shinpachi then started walking after Akari before she could get too far away. But while Gin was chatting away with Akari happily, Shinpachi was thinking. For the first time, Shinpachi noticed that Akari only had one arm. Her hair was also familiar to Shinpachi. He couldn't seem to shake the feeling that he'd met Akari somewhere before. Not just met, but fought her somewhere before. Unbidden, memories of Yoshiwara came to mind, leaving Shinpachi wondering what those unpleasant memories had to do with Akari.

* * *

When Abuto, Gin and Shinpachi got back to Gin's house, Abuto felt exhausted. He was pretty sure the other two hadn't overheard his conversation with Bansai, but he couldn't be sure. Gin was acting as he normally did, but the glasses brat seemed suspicious of him. Abuto really hoped he was just imagining it, though.

But just in case, Abuto watched Shinpachi carefully the rest of the day. Eventually Shinpachi seemed to notice Abuto watching him and did his best to avoid Abuto. Which made Abuto suspect that Shinpachi knew something that Abuto didn't want him to.

The rest of the day seemed to slip by quickly then and before Abuto knew it, Shinpachi announced that he was going to go home for the night. When Shinpachi passed by Abuto he said quietly, "Akari-san, could you come with me for a second, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Abuto wasn't surprised Shinpachi wanted to talk to him, he seemed as suspicious of him as Abuto did of Shinpachi. When the two were outside, Shinpachi asked frankly, a slightly worried look in his eyes, "Akari-san, do I know you from somewhere?"

"No," Abuto said, thinking it better to deny anything than lie, "the first time we met was the day before yesterday."

Shinpachi huffed and pushed up his glasses, "Then why is it Akari-san that whenever I look at you I see that Yato from Yoshiwara?"

**And that ends this chapter. Yes, yes I know I'm evil I've left you hanging yet again. But luckily, you only have to wait a week for the next chapter. Weekly updates are important, I may like you keep you waiting, but not for too long ^_^ well anyway, please leave a review if you'd like, I love to know what you guys think. So, see you all next week then.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	9. Shinpachi's No Good With Abuto's Quizzes

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. Here's the next chapter of this very silly story! As you may have noticed, I changed the picture for this story. This story is so fun for me to write that it deserves an awesome picture! Also, you guys should be happy; you only had to wait a week for tthe update! I may be evil and use too many cliff hangers, but at least I'm good at updating, yay! In random news, I've started rewatching the Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo series, it's hilarious! When it first aired on Cartoon Network, I thought the show was really, really dumb. But now, after watching Gintama, the humor makes so much more sense to me!...Huh? You want me to get on with the chapter already? Ok then, here you go, I hope you enjoy!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei. Maybe if I owned Sorachi-Sensei I could say I owned Gintama, but I don't so I can't…that's really too bad...**_

There were no words in Abuto's vocabulary to answer Shinpachi's question. Anything he said would probably just dig his grave deeper. So, for a few seconds, he just stood there, his mouth slightly agape, his mind working furiously. Eventually, he was prompted to answer by a cough from Shinpachi. Abuto swallowed hard, and started hesitantly, "W-why would you say I look like someone from Yoshiwara? I've never heard anything good about that place."

Shinpachi colored a little, "N-no, you don't remind me of a woman from Yoshiwara. The Yato Kagura-chan and I fought was male."

So, much for getting the subject off himself, Abuto sighed mentally, but then said "But that still doesn't answer my question, Shinpachi-kun. How do I look like this male Yato you guys fought in Yoshiwara?"

"Well you see, you have only one arm like he did," point number one, a scowl began forming on Abuto's lips, "I don't usually remember things like this, but you have a similar hairstyle as that Yato," point number two, if he had anything more to say, Abuto'd probably have to give himself up to the glasses brat, "And, I dunno, but you just give me that feeling. I know you haven't done this Akari-san, but I have the sense that you could start giving random quizzes at any time." And there was point number three, time to give himself up. But, he might as well have fun doing it.

"Ok, you caught me. I give up." Abuto said putting his hands up in mock despair

"Wha? You're telling me you're that Yato just like that. Why, what are you plotting?"

"So you want to know what I'm plotting, huh? Ok then, it's quiz time. Do you think I came to your house to spy on you or was it a complete coincidence?"

"Why are you starting with the quizzes now?"

"Because I'm giving you what you want. You remember me by the 'random' quizzes I gave, so I'm making it clear that I am Abuto, the Yato you fought in Yoshiwara."

"T-that makes little sense, A-Akari-san. Are you joking with me?"

"Nope, not at all, I've given up trying to hide from you. So are you going to answer my question or what?"

"Uh…Wha…Eh? I-I don't know?"

Abuto sighed, "Fine, I'll tell you the right answer. I did not come here to spy on you. In fact I didn't really want to be here in the first place, but your boss dragged me here."

"Oh…I see."

"Let's move on the next question then. Why did a witch curse me? Because I pissed her off, or was it an accident?"

"Wait, what? Why are you asking another question?"

"Because you didn't really answer the first one. And I'm going to keep asking questions until you get one right. So what's your answer?"

"Um…the witch cursed you because you pissed her off…?"

"That's what I thought too at first. But I was wrong, that witch cursed me because I looked like Umibouzu when he was younger."

"Eh? You look like Kagura-chan's dad whe—"

"Alright, moving right along. Why was I talking to Kawakami Bansai today? Was it because he approached me about being me, or because he and I are such big fans of Terakado Tsuu?"

At that, Shinpachi's eyes lit up and he answered with chest puffed out, "Well it could have only been because you two are such big fans of Otsu-chan! There's no other reason the two of you would have been talking!"

Abuto face palmed, how much of a fan of Terakado Tsuu was the glasses brat? "Incorrect," Abuto said sardonically, and Shinpachi's confident expression fell, "The correct answer is because he heard the music of my soul and knew it was me."

"You mean you not a fan of Otsu-chan?"

"No, not particularly. I don't really like loud pop music when I have a hangover."

"Eh…? But you didn't say anything when I invited you to the concert."

"Well that's because there were people I wanted to avoid…moving on. What curse did the witch place on me?"

"No choices this time?"

"Nah, I feel like giving you a break this time."

Shinpachi raised an eyebrow at Abuto, the look saying 'are you serious?' Abuto's returning flat stare told Shinpachi that he was. Abuto was getting tired of asking questions. He may like to do it every once in a while (make that more like once a day), but he was getting annoyed with having to ask so many questions. So he figured he give one the glasses brat a question he couldn't get wrong and move on.

For some reason, Shinpachi seriously considered the question. Abuto didn't really understand why, he figured it would be extremely obvious. But maybe Shinpachi just didn't want to get another question wrong so he took his time in answering. After a few more moments of intense thinking, Shinpachi answered, "Did the witch turn you into a woman?"

Abuto rolled his eyes making Shinpachi flinch. Abuto then chuckled; he liked making the glasses-clad boy squirm, and said after a short pause, "Correct. The witch girl turned me into a woman."

Shinpachi sighed in relief that there wouldn't be any more questions from Abuto. But then Shinpachi tensed up and a grimace adorned his features. Shinpachi then avoided looking directly at Abuto. Eventually, Abuto got fed up with Shinpachi's grimace and avoidance of eye contact, he snapped, "What's wrong now glasses brat?"

Shinpachi, still not looking at Abuto mumbled, "W-well…If you're really a guy trapped in a female body…Does that mean you…like men?"

"Hah? What the hell are you talking about?" This was another example how the Yorozuya asked the most awkward questions to Abuto

Shinpachi's cheeks turned a spectacular shade of red and he stuttered, "Y-you see…This m-morning, Kagura-chan a-and I saw you and Gin-san k…kissing. F-from the looks of that kiss I figured you were in love with Gin-san. But because you didn't want him to know that you liked other men, you ran out like you hadn't wanted to kiss him in the first place. T-that's the conclusion I came to after finding out who you really are..."

"Wha? N-NO, I don't like Sakata Gintoki like that! It wasn't— I didn't—I didn't mean to kiss him, It just kind of…happened…"

"What kind of logic is that? How does a kiss 'just happen'?"

"C-can we please talk about something else?" By now Abuto's cheeks were burning as bright as Shinpachi's were earlier

But Shinpachi persisted; it seemed like he'd had enough of being the guy who was tortured, "No, I'm not going to go home until you tell me why!"

"Gah! Fine, I was dreaming about the woman I like. I thought Gin was her…that's why...it happened…"

Shinpachi's eyes widened and Abuto thought for an insane moment that the glasses boy was going to laugh at him. But then Shinpachi patted him on the shoulder and said in a soothing voice, "Abuto-san, you're so innocent."

Huh? Abuto was confused now, what the heck was Shinpachi talking about. Abuto was about to ask when Shinpachi continued, "In my experience, only the really innocent dream about the girls they like. Like me, I dream about Otsu-chan all the time! Therefore, your secret's safe with me."

Shinpachi then nodded and left. Abuto stood outside the front door, speechless; how had Shinpachi come to that conclusion? After a while, Abuto sighed, thinking, "I guess that's just how a virgin's brain works." And went back inside.

* * *

The next morning, Abuto woke up earlier than usual. Then he snuck around the house making sure Kagura wasn't awake. He also took a quick peek into Gin's room and was glad to find him asleep as well. Abuto then wrote on a piece of paper he found a short note: _Had something to do this morning, I'll be back later. –Akari_ and he exited the house.

Abuto then made his way back to the Harusame ship. This was probably a horrible idea, but he needed to put an end to Kamui's destructive game of hide and seek for a while. It was only a matter of time before the admiral figured out Abuto wasn't on the ship. The admiral would probably then go looking for him around the city and it'd end up being destroyed. And what's the point of conquering a place that's destroyed? There is none, so Abuto decided he'd make sure Kamui kept looking in the ship for Abuto for a little while longer.

When Abuto arrived at the Harusame ship, he was astounded; it was practically floating Swiss cheese now. This was not good; Abuto would have to work fast to curb any more ship destruction. Abuto quietly made his way to the admiral's room. He was about to enter, but then thought better of it. If he did go into Kamui's room he was sure to be caught.

So instead, Abuto wrote a note directly on the wall outside Kamui's room (he couldn't find any paper, and didn't feel like looking for any). The note essentially said that Abuto would be Yoshiwara for a while and that Kamui shouldn't follow him there. Abuto also wrote that they could continue they're game of hide and seek later, but for now he needed a break.

It wasn't a complete lie; he probably would be going to Yoshiwara eventually to change himself back into a man. If only he knew where in Yoshiwara the witches held their meeting. And when the meeting was going to be held; the witch girl hadn't been very specific.

Abuto then decided, probably against his better judgment to go retrieve his Yato umbrella from his room. Though he'd made peace with the blue umbrella with the bunnies on it, he didn't really want to use it if he was about to fight witches.

Abuto got to his room and retrieved his umbrella without any trouble. But, on the way out of the ship, his luck ran out. Just as he was about to exit the ship, he felt a tap on his shoulder and heard an all too familiar voice, "So you thought you could hide from me, did you, Abuto?"

'Great,' Abuto thought, 'this is going to turn in one big headache for me isn't it?'

Of course the admiral would wake up and find him just as he was about to leave. Of course the admiral would know it was him right away. And, of course, Abuto would play dumb for as long as he could.

Abuto turned around and pretended to look confused, "Who's Abuto? My name's Akari."

Immediately, a cold smile appeared on Kamui's face and he said, "Oh, in that case, what are you doing here Akari?"

"Who me? I-I'm just here to get Abuto-san's umbrella. H-he told me to bring it to him so he could continue his game of hide and seek with you." Abuto said, going on the assumption that Kamui hadn't read his note on the wall.

"Oh really, is that so?"

"Y-yeah, that's about it. I-if that's all you wanted to know, I'll be going now Dancho." Crap, he'd been so nervous that he'd accidently called Kamui what he used to call him before he became the admiral. Maybe Kamui wouldn't notice Abuto's slip of the tongue.

But Kamui's raised eyebrow meant that he had indeed noticed that Abuto had called him Dancho. Abuto began edging to the door but was stopped by a frosty, malevolent smile from Kamui, "So, 'Akari', you're going to bring that umbrella to Abuto? Why don't I join you?"

"Eh?...Ah, no that won't be necessary, I'll be fine on my own."

"Then why don't I give you a message to give to him for me?"

"S-sure…?" Abuto said, not really liking where this was going

"Tell him that if he doesn't come back soon, I will find him and drag him back to the ship with one arm less than he currently has."

Abuto swallowed hard and involuntarily clenched his fist, "I-I understand. I'll tell him that the next time I see him. B-but just one thing, how exactly do you intend to find him?"

Kamui's smile widened crazily, "Oh, you won't have to worry about that; I can find you no matter where you hide, Abuto."

'I admit defeat,' Abuto thought wearily, 'Why did I think I could fool him? I keep forgetting he's a lot sharper than he looks'

Out loud, Abuto said, "Alright Admiral, I'll come back as soon as I can. There are a few things I need to take care of, so I might not be back as soon as you want me to."

Kamui nodded and his smile turned more innocent, "Ok Abuto, see you soon then. You have to tell me all about it when you get back." Then Kamui turned and started walking back to his room, leaving Abuto feeling slightly confused.

Abuto then left the ship, deciding not to dwell on the admiral's occasional weirdness; it wasn't something he'd be able to understand.

* * *

When Abuto arrived back at Gin's house, he figured he'd try and get some more sleep; his conversation with the admiral had left him drained. And so, Abuto trudged over to his couch bed and went back to sleep.

But, after what seemed like five seconds Abuto was woken up by Kagura jumping on his stomach and shouting, "Akari, wake up! Gin-chan's actually doing the cooking for once, you don't wanna miss this! So hurry and get out of bed!"

Abuto's eye cracked open when he heard Gin whisper very loudly, "Kagura, shush, I wanted this to be a surprise. Akari-chan looked like she'd just been through hell, so I decided to treat her to breakfast in bed. And now you've ruined it!"

"But she's not even awake Gin-chan! So I didn't ruin your surprise." Kagura pouted

"Sorry to disappoint you Kagura, Gin-san, but I'm awake. Next time you want to surprise someone, I recommend not jumping on them."

Kagura pouted again but then got off of Abuto's stomach. Once Abuto could move again, he sat up and looked at Gin, "Thanks for making me breakfast Gin-san. What's the occasion?"

Gin grinned at Abuto, "Well, I figured you went out to look for that witch again. And when I got up, I read your note and saw you sleeping with an angry expression on. So I thought it'd be nice to have breakfast made for you because it might soothe a bad mood in the works."

That seemed unusually thoughtful of the silver-haired idiot in Abuto's opinion. But, he wasn't one to turn down free food. So Abuto got up, walked over to the kitchen table, and started eating breakfast.

**And that ends this chapter. Congratulate me! I didn't end this chapter on a cliff-hanger this time! But, I promise you there will be more cliff-hangers later on; they are my specialty after all. And for those who want to know, Dancho means captain. I used the Japanese word because I like it better! As always, leave a review if you'd like, I love to hear what you guys think ^_^ until next week then!**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	10. Newspapers, Lingerie Stores, & Glasses

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I come bearing the gift of the tenth chapter of this story. It's very silly, so I hope you guys enjoy ^_^ Well, I don't really have anything of import to say at the moment, so on with the chapter! I hope you guys enjoy!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

While Gin Kagura and Abuto were enjoying a lazy breakfast at home Shinpachi was trying to convince his sister not to cook him breakfast. He had woken up around the time Abuto was returning from the Harusame ship. Shinpachi usually woke up early so he could cook breakfast for himself and his sister. Sometimes, though, he woke up and his sister was already up cooking. At those times, Shinpachi usually made a quick escape to the Yorozuya office before his sister knew he was awake.

But today was not his lucky day. As he was about to duck out the front door, his sister came up to him almost silently and said, "Shin-chan, won't you have breakfast with me? Kyu-chan will be here to pick me up soon, so why don't we spend some time together before then?"

Shinpachi froze; he hadn't been expecting her so he didn't have an excuse prepared. After an awkward few seconds, Shinpachi said nervously, "Ah, Aneue, I didn't know you were up. I was just going to head out to the Yorozuya. I'm sure Gin-san and Kagura-chan are waiting for me. And did I tell you we have a new customer staying with us at the moment? It would be rude of me not to go."

Shimura Tae smiled then, the kind of smile that could make hell freeze or pigs fly, "Oh yes, that's right, you told me about her. She's the one who's the good cook right? I'm sure, though, that you'd much rather eat with you sister than some stranger, right Shin-chan?"

Well certainly said the thing that would make her sister the maddest at him. He almost forgot that she didn't believe in people who were better cooks than her. Swallowing hard, Shinpachi murmured, "Yes, Aneue, I'd much rather eat breakfast with you." and he followed her into the dining area.

After breakfast, Shinpachi decided to just stay at the Dojo until Kyube came to pick his sister up. Those three could probably fend for themselves, and he didn't really want to run the risk of angering his sister anymore. So, he put on his headphones, started an Otsu CD, and began reading the Edo Times.

Since Shinpachi didn't usually have time to read the newspaper, he actually enjoyed reading up on what was happening in Edo. There were what was probably the usual, notice for Katsura's arrest by the Shinsengumi and other extras that were made by people Shinpachi actually knew.

Shinpachi was slightly disappointed with the gossip column of today's newspaper, though. Instead of the headline being something about Otsu-chan, it was an article about how some popular psychic named Mikazuki Tsumi was going on vacation for a few days. Shinpachi had heard of this Tsumi person before, but if he ever brought her up in the Yorozuya Gin would yell at him and tell him that Ketsuno Ana was so much better than that half-rate psychic.

So Shinpachi eventually forgot about her completely, until just now. And he didn't really care about the article now, since it was taking space from Otsu-chan. Shinpachi began flipping through the rest of the newspaper, growing bored because there was no news about his favorite idol.

But then his eyes landed on a very short announcement at a corner on the last page of the Newspaper. It said was announcement about a gathering in Yoshiwara. But it wasn't just any gathering; it was about a gathering of a group of witches in Yoshiwara. It was going to take place the day after tomorrow.

At first, Shinpachi just chuckled at the announcement, thinking it was just at stupid joke the people making the newspaper decided to play on the people reading the newspaper. But as he was laughing, he remembered something Gin had said to him a day or two ago that the person who had cursed Akari (Abuto, Shinpachi corrected himself. He hadn't really gotten used to the fact that Akari was Abuto yet) was part of a witch organization that was headquartered in Yoshiwara.

Shinpachi stood up quickly, a thought striking him like lightning. But before he could give words to the thought, he heard his sister call out, "Shin-chan, Kyu-chan's here so I'm off. See you later tonight." And the door closed.

Now that the house was silent, Shinpachi could continue his thought; maybe the announcement in the newspaper wasn't a joke after all. Maybe the witch that cursed Abuto's organization was weird enough that they would put an announcement in the paper. Putting in his shoes, Shinpachi raced out the door, Abuto would want to hear about this if his thought was correct.

But when Shinpachi arrived at the Yorozuya, there was no one there. Shinpachi, confused, started looking around for everyone. He eventually found a note addressed to Shinpachi saying that Gin, Abuto and Kagura had gone to the store and that they had left some breakfast for Shinpachi if he was hungry.

Shinpachi went to the fridge and got out the food that was apparently leftover for him. He put it in the microwave and then turned on the TV; he may as well eat it, it would get the taste of his sister's idea of an omelet out of his mouth. After all, there was nothing better do while he waited for the three to return.

* * *

Meanwhile, Gin, Abuto, and Kagura were just coming out of the store. They had actually gone only to get more strawberry milk because Gin had run out after breakfast. Abuto didn't really see the appeal of the stuff, he had tried it because Gin offered him some, but it had been way too sweet for his liking. But he didn't really complain about going out without Shinpachi; Abuto wanted to avoid Shinpachi at the moment lest he reveal to Gin and Kagura that he wasn't Akari.

As the three came out of the store, they ran into Shinpachi's sister and her friend, both of who Abuto did not know. Casually observing the two of them, Abuto's first opinion of the two was not very complimentary. Though Shinpachi's sister may wear a Kimono and look female on the outside; on the inside, Abuto saw a fierce gorilla just waiting to be unleashed. It seemed that whenever the sister looked Abuto's way, the gorilla grew more agitated than it already was.

And the other one, Abuto observed, seemed to be struggling with her identity. She wore male clothes, but according to his crotch sensor (which he apparently still had even though he was female at the moment) she was definitely female. The Yorozuya trio had some weird friends.

Abuto looked up and saw that everyone was looking expectantly at him. 'Crap,' Abuto thought, 'they must have asked me something as I was thinking. What now?'

Something in his expression must have clued everyone in to Abuto's, well cluelessness because the gorilla woman asked, clearly looking annoyed that Abuto hadn't been paying attention to her, "Akari-san, was it? We were wondering if you'd like to go shopping with us. Gin-san and Kagura-chan have already said yes, but they wanted to know if you wanted to go as well."

Oh, was that all they had asked?' Abuto thought well it sounded harmless, nothing bad could come out of shopping could it? So Abuto said yes, and for some reason he saw Gin's face fall.

'What's with that reaction?' Abuto wondered to himself, but he didn't give it much thought. And then they arrived at the place and Abuto stopped, unable to walk a step further; it turns out the girls had decided to go shopping in a lingerie store.

Abuto turned to see Gin leaning against on the wall outside the store, eyes growing innocently wide Abuto asked, "Gin-san, what exactly did I miss?"

Gin chuckled, "As I thought, you weren't paying attention; you were eying Kyube like she was a piece of meat, y'know. If you thought she was a man, you were wrong. She may not act like it, but she's all female. Well anyway, what you missed was Otae commenting that you…um…well…" Gin trailed off, flushing.

After, he cleared his throat, he continued, "That you don't wear a bra. Then Kagura told Otae that you didn't because you ran away from home after you cursed and didn't have time to buy any new ones. So then, Otae asked if you wanted to go into this shop here to buy a new one."

Abuto nodded, then said, "Ah, I see. Well that certainly is probably something I should have paid attention to now is it. And I knew Kyube was a girl. I don't mean to brag, but I do have a pretty god crotch sensor."

Gin coughed then managed to splutter, "Wha? What do you mean you have a crotch sensor?"

Oops, Abuto almost forgot that he was not a man right now and probably shouldn't have a crotch sensor if he was female. Awkwardly Abuto tried to explain what he meant, "Um…well, what I mean is that I've been around enough crossdressers to know what someone's gender really is…" well, that was lame. Abuto almost hoped that Gin didn't believe that excuse.

But, to Abuto's immense relief (and disappointment) Gin looked like he believed Abuto's 'explanation'. But then he said, "You know you still have to go in there, right?"

Abuto hunched his shoulders, "Do I really? Can't they just go shopping without me? This kind of shop really isn't my thing."

"They could go shopping out you," Gin sighed, "But, Otae has a thing about things going her way. So I doubt she'll let you stay out here with me."

Abuto groaned and took another step toward the hell that was awaiting him. To no one in particular he said, "Why do guys like stuff like this anyway? It's not like it's going to stay on if they're buying it for the purpose I think they're buying it for…"

Gin's embarrassed cough interrupted the rest of Abuto's sentence. He then looked over to see Gin blushing and looking straight at him, as if he couldn't believe what Abuto was saying. Prompted by Abuto's raised eyebrow, Gin said, "Akari-chan, you…I swear sometimes you say the manliest things."

"Oh, thanks Gin-san, that's what every girl wants to hear." Abuto said sardonically

Gin raised his hands in surrender, "I didn't mean it as in insult. It's just that you're so unlike any other woman I've met. It's kinda refreshing that you say what's on your mind."

'Yeah,' Abuto thought, 'I say what's on mind. But if I do it too much, you'll find out that your 'Akari-chan' doesn't exist. What will you do then, Sakata Gintoki?' Abuto then rolled his eyes and took the last few steps to the store.

But when he got to the entrance, he couldn't actually bring himself to go it. It was like there was an invisible barrier that knew he was male and did not want to let him in. But then, Kagura saw him outside and came over a smile on her face, "Akari, c'mon in. It can't be fun just talking with Gin-chan while us girls are having fun, uh-huh!" and she dragged Abuto inside the store before he could say anything. 'So much for an invisible barrier,' Abuto thought.

* * *

When Abuto, Gin, and Kagura finally made it back to Gin's house, Abuto was now carrying a bag with new underwear that he really didn't want. He hadn't meant to buy anything, he really hadn't. For one, everything in the store was way too expensive to Abuto's uncaring mind. For two, it wasn't like he was going to use the underwear. If he wore it, that'd just be weird. And if he gave to someone once he was male again, that would just be creepy.

But unfortunately, Kagura had kept finding damned undergarments that apparently 'suited his figure' (he didn't really know how she knew that, she didn't seem to have much of a figure herself). He wanted to put them all back as soon as Kagura had given them to him, but the look on her face left Abuto unable to do anything but comply with her wishes. And now his wallet was a lot lighter for his inability to say no to anyone that looked like the admiral.

When the three entered the house, they found Shinpachi being uncharacteristically (well, it was uncharacteristic to Kagura and Gin, anyway) lazy. He was just sitting in front of the TV, doing absolutely nothing, not even cleaning.

Kagura gasped dramatically and Gin went over and laid a hand on Shinpachi's forehead. Abuto couldn't see Shinpachi's reaction, but he could hear the slight annoyance in his voice as he said, "Gin-san, what are you doing?"

Gin's voice took on an air of fake concern as he said, "I was just making sure you didn't have a fever, Pattsuan. I mean, you're not even cleaning so you must be sick!"

Shinpachi slapped away Gin's hand and stood up, "Gin-san I'm not your maid. I'm allowed to be lazy if I want. Besides, where have you guys been? You've been out way too long to just be getting stuff from the store."

"Well," Gin said, remembering his strawberry milk and going over to the refrigerator to put it away, "We ran into your sister and Kyube. And you know, women, they see an underwear store and they have to go in. But you should have seen the two Yato girls; they were as stiff as boards. Kagura being nervous I can understand, it's probably her first time. But, Akari-chan, it's like you've never done that kind of shopping before."

'Yeah,' Abuto thought, annoyed, 'because I've never shopped for underwear before. I'm a guy; we don't normally do that kind of shopping. If we did, you probably would have been in that store with me.'

At the same time, Kagura protested loudly, "Gin-chan, don't talk badly about Akari, uh-huh. Of course she was embarrassed about going into a lingerie shop with you right outside. I mean what girl wouldn't be, with a pervy natural-perm like you thinking your pervy natural-perm thoughts, uh-huh?"

Gin stopped mid-way from closing the refrigerator, and predictably awkward silence ensued. Abuto guessed that the silver-haired Samurai was now thinking those 'pervy natural-perm thoughts' Kagura just mentioned. Unfortunately, since those thoughts were about Abuto's current female body in nothing but underwear, Abuto felt thoroughly nauseated.

During this awkward silence, Shinpachi looked like he remembered something. Suddenly he turned to Abuto and said excitedly, "A…kari-san, in today's newspaper there was an announcement of a witch organization meeting in Yoshiwara the day after tomorrow. Maybe the person who cursed you is attending that meeting."

Abuto's eyes widened, this could finally be his chance to be rid of this female form and its annoyances. Even though it had only been a few days, it felt like an eternity to Abuto. Abuto then said to Shinpachi, "Thanks Shinpachi-kun for finding that out for me. It will be really nice to have the curse lifted."

Shinpachi then started laughing uncontrollably. Once all three other human occupants of the house were looking at Shinpachi like he was off his rocker did attempt to explain why he was laughing. Eventually Shinpachi's explanation went like this, "I-I'm sorry your guys. I just realized how funny it must have been to see Abuto-san in an underwear store. I mean, since he's a gu—"

And that was when Abuto rushed over and clamped his hand over Shinpachi's mouth before any more damage could be done. Abuto's glare said something along the lines of, 'That's quite enough out of you, glasses brat. You try and say any more and you will regret it deeply.'

All three of the Yorozuya trio seemed to realize what Shinpachi had just said at the same time. Shinpachi looked only a little but sorry for having let Abuto's real name slip out, Gin looked like he'd just been punched in the gut, and Kagura, amazingly, didn't look all that surprised about this revelation.

Abuto knew he had no escape when Gin asked both Shinpachi and him in a somewhat strained voice, "What the hell are you talking about Shinpachi?"

**And that's the end of this chapter! Horay! The cliff-hangers are back! I felt like being evil in multiple ways for this chapter! I forced Abuto into a lingerie store and I'm forcing you guys to wait until next week to see what happens next! As always, reviews are lovely since I love to know what you guys think.** **So until next week then, guys.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	11. And 'Akari's' Secret Is Finally Revealed

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I bring to you the eleventh chapter! Yay! Um…well…that's all I have to say…So I hope ya'll enjoy!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei! I wish Gintama were mine, though, that would mean Abuto was mine as well!**_

Abuto sighed; he knew this going to happen. He'd even been half-preparing himself for this mentally. But it was still slightly annoying that Gin asked what Shinpachi about what was going on and not him. There had been a part of him that wanted to tell the Silver-haired Samurai about his womanly form only when he'd been turned back into a man, but that clearly wasn't going to happen now.

Abuto glared boredly at Shinpachi, this was all his fault after all. If only he hadn't opened his big mouth and said his name aloud and revealed he was a guy. But the past is the past, no need to dwell on it longer than need be. What's done was done, so it was probably time to let the cat out of the bag.

Abuto then looked toward aforementioned Samurai. His normal, dead-fish look had been replaced by a slightly less dead, more intense look of betrayal. Abuto guessed he'd finally managed to guess what was going on, but he couldn't be sure with Gin.

Abuto opened his mouth to speak, to reveal what the other two Yorozuya members already knew when Shinpachi removed Abuto's hand from his mouth and said, "I'm sorry, Gin-san, that was just a slip of the tongue, you can forget what I just said."

Both Abuto and Gin raised an eyebrow at that, Abuto because he didn't understand why Shinpachi was covering for him. Gin then then said, "No that was no slip of the tongue, Pattsuan. What are you hiding from me?"

Shinpachi looked like he really didn't want to say anything. But as he was about to reluctantly begin speaking again, Kagura spoke up, "We're not hiding anything from you Gin-chan. It's just, y'know, a joke between the three of us, uh-huh!"

"And what, pray tell, is the joke?" Gin asked, his voice dripping with venom at a joke kept from him.

By this time, Abuto'd had enough. This farce was getting tedious, and Abuto wanted to end it. So before Kagura could think of a joke, Abuto said, "It's ok you guys. There's no need to hide anymore. But one question, how'd you know Kagura?"

"Know what?" Gin said looking annoyed and confused.

But Kagura just ignored him and smiled at Abuto, "I knew when we were training the other day. Your reaction was so obvious, uh-huh. But then I decided that it would be much funnier if I didn't out you. And I was right. You in the Lingerie store was hilarious!"

'Of course,' Abuto thought, 'leave it to the Admiral's sister to recognize me right away and then decide not to say anything.'

Abuto was then prompted by Gin, "So what is this big secret you're keeping from me, huh?"

Abuto looked at Gin, "So, do you remember when I said I couldn't tell you what the curse was because part of the curse was that I couldn't talk about it?"

"Yeah…" Gin said, Abuto could practically see the gears clicking in his head now

"Well that was a lie. I could have told you about the curse whenever I wanted to."

"So why didn't you?" Gin looked to be losing his patience

"Because I didn't think you'd be quite as willing to help me of you knew what the curse really was."

"Well why don't you just tell me what it is then?"

"Fine, but you're the one who asked. The witch turned me into a woman. Really, there is no Akari, just me, Abuto. I think I might have revealed it to you a while ago, which might explain why you were passed out drunk later that night."

And silence descended upon the group. Gin looked like he'd just been punched in the gut, his face slightly pale. He was probably now thinking of all the "moments" he and "Akari-chan" had shared and was realizing how awkward they were for Abuto (and now for him as well).

Abuto was beginning to think that he'd broken Gin with what he just said when there was a quiet, "Get out." From Gin's lips

"Hah?" Abuto said, slightly annoyed, but not all that confused by Gin's reaction

"You heard me, get out."

Abuto rolled his eyes, but before he could ask why, Shinpachi said, "Gin-san, don't you think you're being hasty. You are still planning to help him right?"

"Yes I will still help him lift the curse. But he can't stay here, that's all there is to it."

Shinpachi looked scandalized and Kagura looked a little bummed about Abuto leaving (she was probably annoyed that Gin was kicking out her sparring partner). But Abuto shrugged, it's not as if he hadn't seen this coming. That was part of the reason, after all, that he'd continued this charade for as long as he did.

Abuto then headed to the door, saying in a voice that made it seem as if he didn't care one way or the other, "Alright, Sakata, I'll leave. I'll probably be back tomorrow, though, so we can make plans to drop in on the witches."

And he left without waiting for answer. He tried to close the door as calmly as he could, so as not to inform the three of his anger at having been kicked out. But, he probably ended up closing a little harder than he wanted to. Yes, he knew this was going to happen eventually. But there was a small part of him that had hoped that Gin would react like the other two; calmly, and not send him away. But of course that was not the case.

As he descended the stairs, he saw Otose outside her store putting up a sign. Abuto wanted to sneak away without her noticing, but his luck just wasn't all that good today. The old woman looked up just as Abuto was passing him. Noticing something was off, she asked, "Where are you off to?"

Abuto smiled ruefully, "No idea. I was just evicted from my current temporary living space, so I guess I'm going to have to find somewhere else to stay."

"Oh?" Otose asked, eyebrow raised, "And what exactly did you do to get you kicked out of that man's house. I would have thought him to be rather tolerant of indiscretions."

"Maybe he is," Abuto chuckled, "But I guess I shattered the image he had of me too much, so I've been kicked out."

"Well, I wish you good luck," the old woman said after a moment, "But, if you can't find a place, my door is always open."

Abuto's eyes widened, surprised that she would offer to host him even though Gin had kicked him out. "Thanks," Abuto said when he realized that the old woman wanted an answer to her proposal right away, "that is awfully nice of you. I think, though, that I'm going to see what's available before I decide on a place."

Otose nodded, and with the conversation coming to an end, Abuto walked away.

* * *

But, predictably, there was no place for him to stay. He realized that he hadn't the money for a hotel room because he'd unfortunately spent it on all that damned underwear. He couldn't even afford the seedier, shabbier places, which was really quite humiliating.

And he definitely wasn't going back to the ship. Kamui would probably treat him the same as he had before, but the other Harusame members would undoubtedly treat him differently. They'd probably be so occupied with the fact that his was female that they would forget that he could kick all their asses easily with his arm tied behind his back.

So, eventually, as the sky began to darken Abuto found himself back at Otose's bar, sitting at approximately the same place he had the last time he'd been there. The old woman looked at him with a smile that said, 'I knew you'd be back'.

But instead of rubbing it in his face she asked, "So what will it be tonight, Akari?"

Abuto sighed, "Please, don't call me that. My name's actually Abuto."

"Oh, since when?"

Abuto scratched the back of his neck, looking a little sheepish, "Since I was born. I used the name Akari as a cover. I'm actually a guy."

The old woman then chuckled and said, "I guess that's why you were kicked out, huh? He finally realized you weren't the girl of his dreams, eh?"

Abuto couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of this situation as well; it was, after all, pretty funny. Otose then handed Abuto a glass of Sake and he said, "Hm? What's this for?"

"Well," she smiled, "It's payment for telling me how you got into this situation in the first place." Abuto smiled, this was payment he could get used to. And he started telling the old woman about everything that happened over the last few days.

Once he was recounting his version of the story, he heard familiar voice deadpan, "So you were mistaken for that baldy? Now that is just depressing. If I were you, I'd totally go beat up those witches right this instant."

Abuto jumped and turned around to see Gin next to him drinking a cup of Sake looking only slightly bored. Gin then looked at Abuto and said, "I've come to tell you I'm sorry about earlier. Pattsuan and Kagura yelled at me, saying that I was going against 'Yorozuya code' whatever that is. I didn't know we had a code. But I thought about it, and I think you were probably right to hide that you were really male. I probably would have done the same. So, you can stay at my place if you want."

"Oh really?" Abuto said, his eyebrow raised, voice dripping with sarcasm, "Well what if I don't want to? Otose-san here offered to let me stay with her. It sounds pretty good to me."

Gin snorted and looked at Otose, "Is that what you offered him? Ha, I bet you planning to sneak our guest here into my apartment and force us to reconcile with each other, weren't you?"

The old woman, who was cleaning a glass, said matter-of-factly, "Well, yes, that was what I was planning to do. But it seems to me that you've already made up."

Abuto and Gin sighed at the same time, as much as they didn't want to admit it, Otose was right; the second Gin had reoffered him a place to stay, they both knew Abuto'd been forgiven. But the two of them had stubborn manly pride to uphold, so neither said anything to back up Otose's statement.

After a few more drinks, the pair decided to go back up to Gin's apartment. Leaning on each other to compensate for their staggering, they attempted to walk up the stairs. Once they had successfully made it up, Gin turned to Abuto and, his voice slightly slurred, "Hey, Abuto, we should really try and forget that kiss. It's a lot more awkward now that I know you're a guy…"

"Yeah? Well, it was that awkward for me from the start. I was trying to forget about it and then you reminded me."

Gin laughed, the alcohol making him think things were a lot funnier that he would have thought were he sober. Eventually he said, after his giggle fit died down, "Well, I just thought I'd let you know, that's all. I mean I'd practically forgotten about it already, I was just making sure you did too."

Abuto rolled his eyes, "Sure, whatever you say, Gin-san."

Gin pouted but didn't say anything else as they staggered back into the apartment. Abuto then deposited Gin in his room and staggered back to the couch which he was fairly happy was still made up for him.

* * *

The next morning, Abuto woke up to long lavender hair tickling his nose. He looked up to see the purple hued hair was attached to a woman wearing red glasses. Abuto blinked, wondering if he was dreaming, if he was, he really hoped he wouldn't wake up any time soon.

But sadly he soon learned he wasn't dreaming as the woman glared down at him, "I heard that Gin-san was helping someone out, but I didn't expect you to be so pretty…I mean slutty. What are you doing here?"

Abuto's head scrunched in confusion, "Who are you? And why do you care what I look like?"

The lady cocked her head, "Well, if you'd been ugly, I know Gin-san wouldn't go for you. But unfortunately, you're probably exactly his type, so now you have to face the wrath of me, Sarutobi Ayame!"

'Well I guess that answers my question,' Abuto thought, annoyed that he was woken up by this weirdo. He then watched in muted, sleepy confusion as the lady (probably a Ninja with a last name like Sarutobi) brought a box of…Natto.

Abuto wrinkled his nose as she started stirring the stinky fermented soybean product. Abuto then realized that this "Ayame" person probably had a crush on Gin. And she thought that he was her competition, so she was going to take him out using Natto. That did not sound like something fun early in the morning.

So before the Ninja lady could use the Natto in a way that Abuto would most definitely regret later, he blurted, "I'm not your competition, lady, I'm a guy. And I'm definitely not into that, especially with a natural perm like Sakata."

The Ninja stopped her stirring of the Natto and looked disbelievingly at Abuto, "Don't think you can trick me with your lies! You are most clearly a woman."

Abuto sighed, "Yes, I know, on the outside I'm female. But I was cursed by a witch to look like this."

"I don't believe you." Ayame stated coldly, and she began stirring the Natto again.

But just as she was ready to assault Abuto with the Natto, there was a loud bang and a sleepy, annoyed Gin yelled, "Oi, it's too early for this. Why the hell are you here anyway?"

At the sound of Gin's voice, hearts appeared in the Ninja's eyes and she turned to Gin and said, "Oooh, Gin-san. I didn't mean to wake you. But since I did, don't you want to punish me?"

Gin narrowed his eyes, looking as if he really didn't want to deal with this right now, "No, it's too early in the morning for you. And you didn't answer my question, what are you doing here?"

"I was just here to get rid of this slut sleeping on your couch. I bet she was getting ready to come in and seduce you!"

"No," Gin said, bored, "he wasn't going to seduce me. As far as I know, he isn't in to that kind of thing…at least I hope he isn't. This is out latest client, Abuto. He was cursed, and we're trying to find a way to undo it."

The purple haired Ninja's eyes widened, and she got off of Abuto, "You mean what he was saying was true?"

Gin nodded; then, while Ayame was putting away the Natto, somehow her glasses fell off. Not noticing this, she turned in a random direction and bowed, "I'm so sorry for thinking you were competition, Abuto-san. Please forgive me."

Abuto blinked, confused as to why she wasn't saying this to his face, "Um…I'm over here. Well, it's fine really, I've been in worse situations. So, no big deal."

The Ninja lady then turned, to what Abuto assumed to be, where she thought Gin was and said, "I'm sorry for the trouble Gin-san. I shall take my leave now."

And somehow, as she turned to go, she tripped over the couch and landed on Abuto. And of course, in typical Shojo or Shonen manga style her lips ended up against Abuto's. Abuto blinked; this morning wasn't turning out so bad after all.

Suddenly, the Ninja lady extricated herself from Abuto, blushing, "I'm so sorry, Gin-san. I must have lost my glasses!" and then she leaped out through the ceiling in embarrassment, leaving her glasses when they had fallen.

Abuto looked at Gin, who was smirking, "Jiraiya-kun, you enjoyed that didn't you?"

Abuto rolled his eyes, "Great, we're back to that nickname, are we? You're not going to make this easy for me are you?"

Gin grinned, "Well, now that I know who you really are, I can call you by the name I should have been calling you from the start. And you didn't answer my question."

Abuto rolled his eyes again and Tch'ed, "Yes, fine, I enjoyed it. You happy? Besides, you probably enjoyed that spectacle more than I did."

"Indeed, Jiraiya-kun. Probably more than I should have." Gin nodded

**And that ends this chapter. Ya'll should be happy, I didn't end on a cliffhanger this time ^_^ I decided to be nice to you guys for once. On a side note, this chapter would not end, once Sacchan showed up. She insisted that I make her role bigger, and forced my fingers to keep writing. I wanted to end this chapter sooner, dammit! Oh well, I enjoyed this chapter anyway. And on a completely unrelated note, Secret Fujoshi-san have you abandonded me? I so enjoyed your reviews, but for the last few chapters, I haven't gotten any from you! Don't make this poor crane cry! Well that's all I have to say. As always, if you guys enjoyed this chapter please leave a review, I love to know what you guys think. So, until next week then, guys.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	12. In Which Elizabeth Is 'Cursed' As Well

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I come bearing the gift of this very silly story. I hope it will make you guys laugh! Well…that's all I have to say at the moment…so I hope you enjoy.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

Once Sacchan was gone Gin and Abuto hung around waiting for Kagura to wake up and Shinpachi to arrive from his sister's house. The two had turned on the TV out of boredom because neither really felt like cooking at the moment.

While they were watching a show about the different kinds of Amanto in Edo, suddenly a breaking news story preempted it. For some reason, the newscasters of Edo thought that the story of a psychic going on vacation was important, Abuto could not understand why.

Abuto looked over to Gin and saw that he looked just as bored as Abuto did at the moment. So he turned back to the TV, watching disinterestedly as the newscasters interviewed this soon to be vacationing psychic.

When the camera turned to said psychic, it took Abuto to realize who she was. She looked slightly familiar to him, but it was only when the camera zoomed out to show a Kimono that faded from white to dark blue did he recognized her as the witch who cursed him.

At this realization Abuto found himself standing, pointing at the TV screen, and shouting, "That's her! That's the annoying witch who cursed me! She must be getting ready to go to that witches' meeting."

Gin put a hand on Abuto's shoulder and said calmly, "How do you know it's her?"

Abuto glared at Gin, "You don't believe me?"

Gin shook his head and forced Abuto to sit down again. Then he scooted away slightly, so as not to feel the brunt of Abuto's wrath if he happened to incur it, "It's not that I don't believe you exactly…It's just that Mikazuki Tsumi is pretty well known, so I'm not sure she'd do something as shady as participate in a witches gathering in Yoshiwara."

Abuto's glare grew hard, "I would be able to find the person who cursed me no matter what. Besides I think she said something about revenge when I met with her the other day. People bent on revenge tend to disregard place if it means they can get their revenge."

Gin chuckled and raised an eyebrow, "And how exactly would you know that, Jiraiya-kun?"

Abuto Tch'ed, "I've read Jump too y'know. That Sasuke guy from Naruto seems like the perfect example."

"I didn't know you read Jump Jiraiya-kun. You seem like the type who wouldn't have time for manga."

"Yeah, I don't usually have time for childish things like that. One time, though, the Admiral forced a volume on me…It wasn't bad."

Gin nodded sagely, "Yes, reading a volume of Shonen Jump once a week is a good thing. It teaches you the values of friendship, struggle, and victory. It also keeps the doctors away."

"No Gin-san," Abuto and Gin turned to see Shinpachi standing in the doorway, "it's 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away,' not Shonen Jump."

Gin humphed indignantly, "Well whoever made that statement up is an idiot, Pattsuan. I'm sure Shonen Jump is much better than some old apple."

Shinpachi sighed and began walking over to the kitchen area, shaking his head as he passed Gin. Once in the Kitchen Shinpachi said, "Speaking of apples Gin-san, I'm sure you and Akari…I mean Abuto-san haven't had any breakfast yet."

"Yep, you got that right Pattsuan. So are you going to make us something?" Gin nodded, proud of his laziness and enthusiastic that he wouldn't have to do anything for breakfast this morning.

Shinpachi rolled his eyes, "Yes, Gin-san, I'll make you something. You're so lazy…"

Gin smiled triumphantly and turned back to the TV without a word of thanks. Abuto, feeling slightly bad that he and Gin had made Shinpachi cook for them said thanked the boy in Gin's stead. Shinpachi, smiling that someone had actually expressed appreciation for something he did, began cooking.

As Shinpachi finished, Kagura emerged from her closed, sniffing the air like a dog. The smell of Shinpachi's cooking led Kagura out of her closet and over to the kitchen. As she was about to inhale everyone's meal, Shinpachi stopped her by feeding her a piece of bacon.

As Kagura was chewing her bacon, Shinpachi said, "This is all I'm going to give you right now, Kagura-chan. Just wait for a few more minutes and you can have your share."

Kagura nodded sleepily, and wandered over to the couch where Gin and Abuto were sitting. She sat down next to Abuto and then laid her head on his lap and was soon snoring away again.

Abuto looked like he had no idea what to do with the sleeping Kagura. There was a part of him that thought the sleeping Yato girl was quite adorable there with her head on his lap. But there was another part of him that wanted to push her off, he didn't really like his motion restricted like it now was. But since Kagura was the admiral's sister, she'd probably have a reaction similar to that of her brother's if he pushed her off; blind fury. And that did not sound fun to Abuto.

But before he had time to contemplate whether or not the sleepy rage that would happen if he pushed her off, Shinpachi was done with breakfast. Abuto sighed in relief as Kagura got up off his lap and trotted over to the kitchen, drool leaking out of the corner of her mouth in anticipation of breakfast. As Kagura reached the table, Abuto felt his stomach rumble almost violently; guess it was time for him to eat as well. Abuto stood up at the same time as Gin and they walked over to the kitchen table.

* * *

After breakfast, the Yorozuya trio plus Abuto sat down at the living area to discuss how to steal into witches' meeting in Yoshiwara. There were no immediate ideas, so they sat in silent concentration for a while.

Suddenly, Abuto asked, "How did you guys get into Hosen-Danna's castle?"

At the seemingly random question, Gin raised an eyebrow and asked, "What does that have to do with anything, Jiraiya-kun?"

Abuto rolled his eyes, "I was wondering because whatever you did might help us get into the witches' meeting place easily."

"Oh," Gin said thoughtfully, "How true…Shinpachi, how did we get into that place again?"

The glasses clad boy sweatdropped, "You mean you don't remember, Gin-san?"

It was Gin's turn to roll his eyes, "Of course I don't remember something like that. It was like more than twenty volumes ago. How can you expect me to remember something that long ago?"

Shinpachi sighed and was about to answer when Kagura waved her hand enthusiastically. The three guys waited patiently for Kagura to say what she wanted to say then. But she didn't say anything and began jumping in her seat a little, still waving her hand in the air.

When it was clear that she wasn't going to tell them what she knew without being called on, Abuto said, slightly annoyed, "Yes, Kagura? What is it you want to say?"

Kagura beamed and put her hand down, "I remember how we got into that old guy's house. Tsukki had us dress up as big breasted new recruits to the Hyakka. Then when we were found out, we revealed that we had dynamite boobs! That's how we got in. Are you amazed Abuto?"

Abuto snorted, "I don't know what I'm more amazed at, the fact that you disguised bombs as boobs. But that doesn't sound like a bad plan."

"Really?" Gin asked, "It was something we thought up in about five seconds. I doubt it'll work with the witches. It didn't really work with the Hyakka."

"I know," Abuto smiled, "But then again, we were expecting you. I really doubt that the witches will know we're coming until it's too late."

The Yorozuya trio nodded, it seemed as if they all thought it was a good plan as well. But then Shinpachi said, "Abuto-san…There's only one problem with the plan."

"And what would that be?" Abuto asked, eyebrow raised cynically

"Um…It's just that…We don't actually know where the meeting is being held. Yoshiwara is a big place, so it will be hard to find quickly."

Abuto sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance that would be a hitch in whatever plans they made. Abuto thought about what he should do for a while then said, "Well, if we can't find the place, I can probably find the witch who cursed me in Yoshiwara. Then we could follow her to the meeting place…maybe."

"That actually sounds like a pretty good plan." Shinpachi said. The three then fell into thoughtful silence again. They didn't know what other plans they should make. It's not like they'd be doing anything other than just crashing the joint and wreaking havoc.

The group's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Seeing that neither Kagura nor Gin were making any move to answer the door, Shinpachi got up and walked over to the front entrance. There, Shinpachi opened the door and, after a second, backed away very quickly.

The three still sitting were momentarily confused until a disgruntled looking Katsura came barreling into the living room. Seeing Abuto, he skidded to an abrupt halt and yelled pathetically, "Akari-san, you must help me!"

"Eh?" Was all Abuto could say, Katsura had literally come out of nowhere.

Seeing that Abuto didn't seem to know what Katsura was talking about, the Joui Shishi started explaining, "Akari-san, I desperately need your help. You told me that you were cursed by a witch. I'm, afraid that Elizabeth had now been cursed as well!"

"I…see?" Abuto said, still having no idea what Katsura wanted from him.

"Just now, I was listening in on your conversation," Katsura continued, "I heard you're going to infiltrate the witches' headquarters. You must take me and Elizabeth with you!"

"Um…Ok, you can come along with us I guess?" Abuto saw no reason not to let the two other weirdoes come along.

But Gin seemed to have different thoughts, he groaned almost silently, then asked, "Zura, how exactly did Elizabeth get cursed?"

Katsura huffed and then gave an indignant, "It's not Zura, it's Katsura! I don't know how exactly she got cursed. But today, I saw, as we were running from those Shinsengumi bastards, that her legs seemed unusually hairy today. Her legs usually are pretty hairy, it's an unfortunate medical condition, but today it seemed worse than usual. The only conclusion I can draw is that the witches cursed her into the form of an old man. In order to hide her cursed form, she must be wearing white sheet with painted on eyes and a glued on beak!"

The Yorozuya trio plus Abuto sweatdropped, what the hell was Katsura thinking? Elizabeth was clearly an old guy in a duck costume, how did he not see that. Abuto wanted to say, 'I've changed my mind, you can't come with us after all,' but he didn't, he really just couldn't. The poor man looked so forlorn that his duck-penguin thing had been cursed that he just couldn't bring himself to say no.

But of course Gin was perfectly able to say what Abuto was not, "Zura, I don't think your pet was cursed. I pretty sure 'she' was just born that way. It is only the unfortunate curse of old age."

Katsura looked aghast, "Gintoki, how could you say such a thing? Elizabeth is no pet! She is a full-fledged Joui member! And how could you say she wasn't cursed! She was, I swear it to you! When I asked her about it, she didn't answer me!"

'Yeah,' Abuto thought sardonically, 'that old man just didn't want to tell you that he was just growing harrier is all that probably was.'

It seemed like Gin was thinking the same thing as Abuto when he asked, "When was she cursed, then?" clearly thinking Katsura was just being a drama queen.

Katsura thought about it for a second, and then said, "Why, it was the day after we met you, Akari-san! The residual magic from your curse must have rubbed off on Elizabeth! You must help us, Akari-san! You're the only one who can change Elizabeth back!"

Abuto and Gin were pretty sure that wasn't how curses worked. But Gin looked like he didn't want to argue with his former comrade anymore, and Abuto just wanted the semi-quiet to return to the house. So, after a second, Gin said, "Fine you two can come along. Just don't get in our way Zura."

Katsura nodded, clearly happy that he was getting his way now, "It's not Zura, it's Katsura! By that way, when and where are the witches meeting?"

"Yoshiwara," Abuto said, "Tomorrow. We were just making plans now. I thought you said you were listening to our conversation just now."

Katsura looked a bit sheepish, "I was…I guess I must have missed the part where you said they were meeting in Yoshiwara…That's the place where the p-p-p-pros…" Katsura trailed off, a light blush dusting his cheeks. Abuto chuckled mentally, it was rare to see one so innocent as to not be able to say prostitutes.

Gin scoffed, though, clearly not wanting to deal with Katsura anymore, "Yes Zura, Yoshiwara is the pleasure district where the prostitutes live. But it's not like we're going there to whore ourselves. We're going there strictly for business. If you're having second thoughts, that's fine. But it'll probably be your only chance to 'cure' Elizabeth. There won't be another meeting when we're done with them."

Katsura blanched and then seemed to be having a debate with himself. After a while, Katsura said, his voice quiet, but with a very random conviction to it, "I'll do it. I will go with you to that place of ill repute and save Elizabeth!"

"Alright," Gin said, completely ignoring Katsura's 'bravery', "We meet here tomorrow morning. Make sure you're not late."

"Yes!" Katsura said, now strangely enthusiastic, "I shall see you tomorrow Gintoki. Now I must go further make arrangements our trip!" and then he ran back out the front door almost as fast as he came in.

The four looked at each other, mystified but not completely surprised by Katsura's antics (he had been acting weird since volume one after all). Abuto then said, "You have some really weird friends, Sakata."

"Yep," Gin nodded "and they only get weirder."

**And that ends this chapter. Katsura probably seems like a very random addition to our group of witch fighters. But I love Katsura, so I decided to put him into this story as well! You guys should really be proud of me; this is the second week in a row that I haven't left you hanging! Well…I guess it's not much of an accomplishment really, but you should still be proud of me! As always, if you'd like review, I always love to know what you guys think. Until next week then, guys.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	13. Abuto's Not So Magical Transformation

**Hey guys Murayama Tsuru here. Here is the 13****th**** chapter of this story. One more chapter and it'll be longer than my last one! Yay! In other exciting news Gintama volume 47 is coming out in Japanese on December 4****th****! According to the Japanese Amazon site, the cover will feature Gin and Shachi in their Mangaka outfits! Without further ramblings, here's the 13****th**** chapter.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei, Bob's your uncle (Yes, I know that was very random. But my mom and I were having a conversation about this over the phone about his weird phrase and for some reason she said that Bob's your Uncle was a translation for Naruto's Dattebayo…please forgive her, she's a supreme weirdo, just like me!)**_

There was a short, awkward pause after Katsura left. Breaking the silence, Shinpachi said, a little quietly, "Didn't Katsura-san seemed a little…exuberant about cross-dressing and infiltrating the witches' meeting tomorrow?"

Gin waved a dismissive hand and said boredly, "Nah, he's always like that. If he gets to do anything that involves disguising himself, he usually gets pretty excited. It's one of his many…flaws I guess. But it's going to help us out this time, so it's not much of a flaw at the moment. Well as long as he doesn't blow our cover it won't be."

"Yeah," Kagura piped up, "He's really bad at remembering code names. If you call him by one, he always says 'it's not –codename- it's Katsura', uh-huh."

Abuto listened to the three talk about the long haired man who just left for a little while. It was kinda strange to listen to people he didn't know very well complain about someone he knew even less. After a while, Abuto got bored, stood up, and began walking to the door mumbling, "Well, if there's nothing for me to do right now, there are things I need to do."

But before he could exit the Yorozuya's house, he heard Kagura call out, "Where are you going Abu-chan, don't you want to complain about Zura too?"

Abuto stopped opening the door and looked back at Kagura, "A-Abu-chan?" he asked incredulously

"Yep," Kagura chirped happily, "that's what I'm going to call you from now on, uh-huh! So where are you going?"

"To procure some if-necessary back up. There are some 'friends' who might be able to help."

Gin gave Abuto a surprised look and said, "Jiraiya-kun, I didn't know you had friends."

Abuto rolled his eyes, "Yeah, perm-boy, I've got plenty of friends, a whole fleet of 'em too."

Gin gave Abuto pointed a look, "Oh yes, I'm sure they're your friends. Just don't bring Bakasugi; we don't need any more trouble."

"Don't worry; I will try to keep him out of it. That's trouble not even I need."

"Then have fun," Gin blinked, "I'm sure Kagura's Nii-chan will be happy to see you."

Abuto glared at Gin, but Gin just smiled sadistically and waved Abuto a goodbye. As he exited the house, he heard Kagura say, "Good luck, Abu-chan, you'll need it!"

'Great,' Abuto thought derisively, 'now things are sure to go horribly.' Abuto then shook his head, trying to dispel the depreciating thoughts about his boss and descended the stairs.

* * *

Kamui was in his office, humming a melody-less tune and doodling on a piece of paper that was probably some form he should be filling in. He had decided that since Abuto wasn't going to be back for a while, he'd let his work pile up to give Abuto something fun to do when he got back…well it would be fun for Kamui to watch Abuto complain about all the work he'd make Abuto do, anyway.

As he was doodling mindlessly, and thinking about all the ways he could torture Abuto, he heard a knock, which startled him a little. Kamui looked at the door, thinking whoever was on the other side had some balls interrupting him like they just did.

But instead of punching through the door and nailing whoever was behind it, he yelled in his usual cheerful voice, "Whoever you are, you have five seconds to either come in or leave. Any longer and there will be dire consequences. You're interrupting my…work, and that is unacceptable." And then he started counting cheerfully.

After two seconds, the door banged open to reveal a slightly mad, slightly annoyed, slightly concerned for his life Abuto. Once the door was fully open, Abuto took a look at Kamui, a look at his desk and the large stack of paperwork on it, and then sighed, "Admiral, you are definitely not any doing work."

"Oh, it's you Abuto," Kamui grinned, "I'm leaving all this for you, you should be happy."

Abuto rolled his eyes, "I am not going to do your work for you. I came to ask you a favor."

"That depends…" Kamui started, "If I say 'yes' will you do my work for me when you get back?"

"Yeah, fine, whatever." Abuto groaned, he didn't really feel like arguing with Kamui at the moment

"Wow, Abuto, I'm amazed you said yes to doing my work. Now I'll have to make sure I don't do it until you come back. So what's this favor you want to ask?"

Abuto cursed almost silently, why did the admiral have to be so hard to deal with sometimes? Abuto sighed, and after a few seconds he said, "I'd like to request backup for going into Yoshiwara tomorrow. I don't know if we'll need it but…"

Abuto trailed off as Kamui snorted and his eyebrows tented, "I doubt you need any help there Abuto. But, since you do seem to be female at the moment, I guess I could send some people to 'help' you out."

Abuto gave Kamui 'you know that's not what I'm talking about' look, "Get your mind out of the gutter, Admiral. I'm not going to Yoshiwara for fun. I'm going there track down the witch that cursed me."

"Oh," Kamui grinned, "Well you should have been clearer about that Abuto. I thought you were going there to—"

"I know what you were thinking, admiral," Abuto interrupted, "But no. I don't have the time to go to Yoshiwara normally. If I really wanted to go, I'd have to sneak away. And with you, that'd be near impossible."

"You got that right, Abuto. So, do you need people now?"

"No. I'll only need them as a last resort. If I need help, and the Yorozuya trio and Katsura aren't sufficient I'll call you."

"That's going to cost you some more work Abuto."

"Huh? Why?" Abuto asked, feeling like he'd been tricked somehow

"Because, you're going to make me wait for a call that probably won't come. So, for the added effort, it's going to cost you more." Kamui grinned

Abuto sighed; Kamui really was too much of a handful for him sometimes. If only there was someone else he could co to for help, Abuto would much rather go to them. But there wasn't such a person, so Kamui was his only choice. Well, Kamui could have said no to Abuto's almost plea for help, but he didn't, for which Abuto was very grateful. If he had to do all the built-up paperwork as payment for services rendered, Abuto didn't really mind. Doing paperwork isn't that bad after all…right?

* * *

Abuto left the Harusame ship feeling oddly satisfied. Yeah, he'd probably regret not having haggled a better payment for Kamui's help, but at the moment Abuto didn't really care all that much. As Abuto was walking back to the Yorozuya's house, reflecting the odd satisfaction he felt at the moment, he bumped into someone, his nose pressing up painfully against their back.

"Ah, sorry, didn't see you there." Abuto said, rubbing his now red nose.

"Who are you?" came a familiar voice. Abuto looked up and blanched, he really must be the most unlucky Yato in the world. Standing in front of him was Takasugi Shinsuke, glowering down at Abuto; his single eye seemed to look deep into Abuto's soul.

"Me?" Abuto asked, feeling slightly unnerved by Takasugi's one eye staring at him, "I'm no one. Just a friend…of Abuto's."

"Oh, I that so?" Takasugi said, his mouth quirking up into a half smirk, "I heard that Abuto was away at the moment. So why is it that you're here?"

"Um…" Abuto dithered, "I…didn't know that Abuto was gone…?"

"Ah, I see, that would explain things. So, you were here to visit him? I don't know the man very well, but it seems to me that he doesn't get many visitors."

"And how would you know that?" Abuto asked, annoyed

"I hear it from his boss, Kamui. He may not look it, but he can be quite the gossip given the proper motivation."

Abuto rolled his eyes, "Of course he is. The admiral will do anything if you give him food."

"And how exactly would you know that? If you're friend Abuto told you that, I feel I'd have to go report him for insubordination." Takasugi's smirk grew a little more sadistic

What insubordination was Takasugi talking about? Last time Abuto checked, talking about someone behind their back wasn't a good thing, but it wasn't so horrible either. It suddenly struck Abuto that headphones had probably told Takasugi about him. So, the leader of the Kiheitai leader was probably just playing dumb. Abuto then returned Takasugi's smirk with a flat stare, "You know don't you."

A chilling humorless laugh issued from Takasugi's lips, "Yes, I know that you are indeed Abuto, it took you long enough to figure that out. But what I don't know is why you're here. I imagined that you'd be afraid to shoe your cursed form to your curious admiral of yours."

"Well too bad for you, he already knows. There's no need for me to hide anymore."

"Why is that too bad for me?" Takasugi asked, his head cocked to the side

"Because," Abuto smirked in satisfaction, "It means you can't sell Kamui that information."

"Oh that is too bad indeed," the one eyed Samurai said sarcastically, "It's a pity that I can't strengthen the bond between us by giving your boss information he might want."

Abuto's eyes narrowed, "There is no bond between us. We've only teamed up with you out of convenience. I'm sure there are plenty of others who want to take over Edo like we Harusame Space Pirates. If you outlive your usefulness, there are many to replace you."

"Oh, I'm sure;" Takasugi chuckled humorlessly, "There are many to replace you pirates as well. And know this; I am not trying to capture Edo. I'm only using you so I can destroy this worthless country."

"Good luck with that then. It's not like we care all that much." Abuto glared at Takasugi and Takasugi glared back at Abuto. After a second, though, Abuto blinked, sighed, and walked past the Kiheitai leader.

Once Abuto was almost out of earshot of the eye-patched man, he heard a lazy shout, "Say hi to Gintoki for me, won't you?"

Abuto gritted his teeth, that Takasugi really irked him. If course, he was mad at Kawakami Headphones as well for telling his superior that Abuto was staying with the Yorozuya trio. But Takasugi was the only one there at the moment, so Abuto was more irritated at him. Abuto left, feeling like he'd just gone through hell and back.

* * *

"What the hell are you guys making me wear?" Abuto exited the bathroom wearing a Kimono so low cut that it left his shoulders and much of the cleavage he really wished he didn't have right now bare. Looking at himself in the mirror, Abuto was very much reminded of that Oiran girl in Rurouni Kenshin.

Abuto then glared at Gin who had probably been the one to pick this ridiculous Kimono out and repeated his question, "Sakata, why the hell are you making me wear this…thing?"

Gin shrugged and grinned not so innocently, "I didn't pick it out, Zura did. While you were out 'requesting back-up', Zura came back and deposited this at our door. He looked pretty embarrassed when he suggested you wear this. So if there's anyone you should be mad at, it's him."

"Yeah right," Abuto scoffed, rolling his eyes, "There probably were other Kimono in the pile and you made sure to choose the most indecent for me."

"A-actually, Abuto-san," Shinpachi cut in, "Gin-san's telling the truth. It really was Katsura-san who said you should wear this Kimono. I think his words were 'you should give this one to Akari-san…it would look good on her'."

Abuto sweat-dropped, the people who surrounded Sakata Gintoki were almost too weird for words. Abuto really wanted to know how Katsura knew this Kimono would look good on him. But before he could ask Gin, Kagura piped up, "Don't worry, Abu-chan, that Kimono really suits your figure well. You could knock all those witches dead with just one swish of your hips, uh-huh."

"Yeah, but witches tend to be female, so I doubt any feminine wiles I try on them will work."

"It would totally work, uh-huh. They'd die of jealousy your of your beauty!" Kagura said emphatically

"Yeah…that's a compliment every guy wants to hear."

"That's something you'd want to hear if you were an Okama." Gin suggested happily

"Do I look like a drag queen to you?"

"Well…" Gin started

"You know what?" Abuto put a dismissive hand up, but he immediately put his hand back down as he felt his altogether too low Kimono slipping even further down his shoulder, "Don't answer that. I am not an Okama."

"Ha," Gin chuckled, "Your statement would be a lot more effective if you weren't trying to keep your Kimono from falling off."

"Tch," Abuto growled, "And we're back to this damn thing again. I am changing out of this sorry excuse for a Kimono now. You'll be hard pressed to get me back into it tomorrow."

As Abuto returned to the bathroom to change back into his usual martial arts outfit, he heard Gin whisper loudly in response to somehting that Abuto didn't hear, "It'll be easy, all we have is not give him and other option and that's what he'll be wearing tomorrow." Abuto groaned internally, somehow, tomorrow was going to turn out to be very annoying if he had to wear this thing again.

**And that ends this chapter. Is it just me, or does this chapter feel a little forced…I mean I liked writing it and all, but both Kamui and Takasugi just seemed out of character and slightly randomly thrust into the chapter to me…Well, I was kinda distracted writing this chapter. But I hope you guys liked it anyway. As always, please leave a review if you'd like, I always love to know what you guys think. And see you all next week.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	14. Morning meetings Lead to More Questions

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I bring to you the fourteenth chapter of this story. It is now officially longer than **_**Rainy Encounters Never Lead to Anything Good**_**! Yay! In other news, I GOT GINTAMA VOLUME 47 TODAY! It goes from the Shachi chapter to the Sacchan mirror chapter. They were all funny in English, but somehow they are so much funnier in Japanese! Well, here's this week's chapter!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi-Sensei. I wish I did own Gintama, though, that would be amazing!**_

Abuto woke up the next morning to a knock at the door. It wasn't a loud knock, but since Abuto had spent a substantial amount of time drinking his worries away about today, the knock seemed very loud to his hungover ears. When Abuto heard the knock, his eyes cracked open, he groaned, and then he turned over, covering his head with the blanked. Maybe if the person (if he could even call them a person, knocking on the door of a hungover person's house seemed very inhuman at the moment) didn't get an answer, they'd leave.

But, of course, the knock came again, louder this time. Abuto groaned again and buried himself deeper under the blankets. Why couldn't whoever was on the other side of the door take a hint and leave! There was a third knock, the loudest yet, and Abuto threw the blanket off himself angrily, and sat up glaring at the door.

But almost immediately, Abuto slumped back onto the sofa, clutching his head in pain; in his anger, he'd almost forgotten the hell of a hangover he had. He glared weakly in the direction of the door again and tried to growl as fiercely as he could, "Whoever you are, go away. It's too early and I'm too hungover for this right now." But it came out as more of a weak whine than a fierce growl, to Abuto's dissatisfaction.

Why the hell had he thought it a good idea to drink as much as he did last night? Oh, right, it's because despite a relatively calm exterior, Abuto was actually quite worried about something going wrong at the witches' meeting today.

Abuto was pulled out of his thoughts, though, when he thought he heard a very feminine sigh outside the door. And then she materialized in front of him, he Kimono fluttering a little as she solidified. Mikazuki Tsumi took a look at Abuto clutching his head pathetically and pursed her lips, a cynical eyebrow arching to a point high on her forehead, "I'm disappointed in you Abuto-san, drinking like there was no tomorrow last night. If you were Umibouzu-san, this never would have happened."

Abuto rolled his eyes then winced as the world began spinning just a little too much for his liking, "Shows what you know about Umibouzu. You should have seen him drink when he learned Kagura had a boyfriend. He and Sakata practically drank the place dry."

Abuto wasn't sure how it was possible, but the witch girl's eyebrow seemed to arch a little higher when she heard what Abuto said. Abuto was certain that it'd be stuck in a permanent cynical stare if they rose any higher. As Abuto was thinking this, Tsumi asked, "How do you know so much about Umibouzu-san, I thought I was the only one tailing him."

This time it was Abuto's turn to raise an eyebrow in snide disbelief, "If you were tailing that baldy, how the hell did you mix us up?"

Tsumi pressed his lips together and averted her eyes from Abuto's questioning gaze, not saying anything. After a minute, Abuto sighed and answered the witch girl's question, "The only reason I know how much Umibouzu drinks is because his son, my boss, dragged me along to the bar those two were at in order to learn when and where his dad and Sakata were going to meet his sister's boyfriend. It's not exactly information I wanted to learn. So what are you doing here, Mikazuki Tsumi-san?"

Tsumi, smiling lightly, said, "I just wanted to tell you that their meeting is today in Yoshiwara."

"Yeah," Abuto said mocking her tone a little, "they put an ad in the other day. What are you really here for?"

The witch girl batted her eyes oh so innocently and wandered purposefully over the chair where that sorry excuse for a Kimono was draped unceremoniously, "Just wondering what you're going to wear today?"

She then picked up the Kimono and "inspected" it for a minute. She held the thing up to herself and a very fake scandalized look appeared on her face as she said slyly, "Oh my, so this is what you're wearing Abuto-san? It seems a little revealing by Yato standards."

"What would you know about Yato standards?" Abuto snapped his hangover seemed to finally be easing up; allowing him to not sound like the world itself was pain. He was very glad to be a Yato at the moment, as super-human healing seemed to include curing hangovers.

"Also," Abuto growled, bringing himself out of this thoughts when he realized something, "If you've been tailing that old man before, you've probably been tailing me as well. So that would mean you knew what I'd be wearing today. So tell me, really, what the hell are you doing here so early?"

"Oh, ok, you caught me," the witch girl held the Kimono in up in front of herself as a shield of mock surrender, grinning as if this whole exchange amused her greatly, "Fine, I'll tell you why 'I'm actually here' as you put it, Abuto-san."

Abuto narrowed his eyes in slight confusion and suspicion as Mikazuki Tsumi closed her eyes and brought the index and middle fingers of her right hand to her lips. She then murmured something that Abuto couldn't hear nor could he understand by reading her lips.

When her lips stopped moving, she opened her eyes and touched the Kimono Abuto would probably be wearing in three places. The dreadful thing then glowed a soft blue light for a minute. When the light faded, Abuto who had been watching the whole scene with a skeptically raised eyebrow, was left wondering what Tsumi had just done.

As if sensing his thoughts, the witch girl looked at Abuto, smiling serenely, "And that, Abuto-san, is why I came here this morning."

After a moment, and another raised eyebrow look from Abuto, Tsumi began explaining, "I just cast a spell on your…wonderful new Kimono so that if things go south at the meeting then you'll be protected…I think."

Abuto's forehead furrowed in consternation, he gave the witch girl a disbelieving look, and huffed, irritatedly, "What do you mean you don't know? You're the one who cast the spell!"

Tsumi shrugged and scratched the back of her neck sheepishly, "As I said before, my specialty is foresight. I don't usually cast spells or curses. I may not know what the spell does but I've seen it cast before by my…" she hesitated for a second and Abuto figured she was hiding something rather important from him when she finished lamely, "my friend".

But Abuto pretended not to notice the hesitation, he'd probably learn the reason why later and he just didn't feel right badgering the secrets out of a girl; even annoying witch girls who cursed him on accident. Call it narrow-minded or chauvinistic, but he just couldn't do it.

Instead, Abuto started asking, "So if you've accomplished all you're here for then…" he trailed off as the witch girl smiled at him again and turned toward the door, raising her hand in a lazy goodbye.

"Bye Abuto-san, I'll see you later today. I'll make sure to lead you to their meeting when you get to Yoshiwara." Abuto was rather surprised when she walked over to the door, unlocked it, and opened it instead of teleporting through it like she'd done when she arrived.

When Mikazuki Tsumi was almost out the door, she turned to Abuto like she forgot something, a sly smile creeping onto her face, "By the way, Abuto-san, I may have lied through my teeth when I said I mistook you for Umibouzu earlier."

Abuto wanted to ask what she was talking about; but before could, the door closed, leaving Tsumi's last words to Abuto hanging in the air like a stale, broken promise. Abuto made to stand up and chase after her, but something seemed to force him back onto the couch and his eyes drooped, suddenly heavy with sleep. As Abuto fell back on to his pillow, he thought, 'Damn, why is she leaving me with more questions now? What the hell did she mean by that?" By the time he finished his thought, Abuto was fast sleep.

* * *

The next thing Abuto knew, he was being shaken awake roughly by a pair of muscular, strawberry smelling hands. When Abuto could no longer take the shaking, he opened his eyes to the dead-fish stare… of some girl he didn't know. The girl was wearing her curly silver hair in two pigtails high on her head. Abuto wasn't sure if this was still a dream or not, but he liked what he saw.

Sure, she wasn't the cutest girl he'd ever seen, but he was tired and therefore not picky at the moment. In a sleepy, slightly flirty voice, Abuto intoned, "Hey, honey, I know this is someone else's house but if you want, we could…" he trailed off suggestively, hoping she would catch his drift.

But to Abuto's disappointment, the girl's face contorted into one of pure disgust and she said in a familiarly male voice, "Eeww is that how I acted when I thought you were a girl? Jiraiya-kun, please, if you wanted to teach me a lesson, consider it taught."

Abuto slammed a hand against his forehead and groaned, "Oi, Sakata, couldn't you have said something before I humiliated myself like that?"

Gin then shook his head, "We don't have time for that right now. Go get changed, we're about to leave."

Abuto blinked, wondering what Gin was blathering on about for a minute. And then he remembered that today was the day they were going to crash the witches' meeting in Yoshiwara. He must have been sleeping really deeply if he'd forgotten something like that. He blinked again at Gin and stood up, grabbing the abomination of a Kimono that he was going to be wearing today.

As Abuto made his way to the bathroom to change, he passed by an elegant looking woman with long, black hair and a purple Kimono. Abuto closed the bathroom door thinking, 'I wonder who that is? I'm amazed that these three know someone so classy.'

As Abuto changed into the way too revealing Kimono, something felt different about it. It might have just been his imagination, but the thing seemed to fit him more snugly and cover slightly more of the ample cleavage he now had. Abuto raised an eyebrow, recalling his conversation with Tsumi earlier. If the spell only help protect his newfound modesty, then that was a useless to him; he didn't know witches very well, but he doubted that he needed that kind of protection.

Abuto was pulled out of his thoughts when Gin yelled at the door, "Oi, Akari-chan, hurry it up! Why do women take so long getting changed? At this rate we're going to be late."

Abuto chuckled as he heard a muffled, "Gintoki, that's no way to treat a lady, you should apologize to her right away." It seemed that Katsura had arrived. But, when Abuto exited the bathroom, all he saw was that elegant looking woman from before.

Abuto raised his eyebrow in confusion and asked, "Where's Zura, I thought I heard him earlier."

Gin rolled his eyes and pointed to the elegant looking woman. At the same time, 'her' head turned in Abuto's direction, "Akari-san, why are you calling me that! It's Katsura, don't you recognize me?"

Abuto squinted at Katsura; "Eh?" was all he could say. Abuto walked over to the apparently cross-dressing Joui Shishi, looking for any signs that 'she' might be lying.

After one walk around, Katsura pursed his lips, "What are you inspecting me for, Akari-san? Is there a problem with my costume?"

"No, there are no problems," Abuto said scratching his chin, "It's just, how did you manage to get yourself to look so good. Taking another look at Sakata over there, it's clear that he isn't trying at all."

Ignoring Gin's indignant, "hey", Katsura beamed at Abuto, "I'm so glad you think I look good, Akari-san! I make sure to do my best in all my disguises. I borrowed this from the Mademoiselle Saigo's place. She was more than happy to lend it to me…though, for some reason she was disappointed when I said it I wasn't going to wear it to help her with the Okama bar."

Abuto decided to ignore that Katsura got his Kimono at an Okama bar, "You look good and all, but it might be a problem…"

"Eh?" Katsura looked like he'd just been electric shocked, "What problem could there be with how I look?"

"Well," Abuto started, "it's just, I think that you look a little too elegant for Yoshiwara."

"Well," Katsura snapped, turning away from Abuto in a huff, "You would be the expert, wouldn't you? You look like you'd fit right in with the Yoshiwara girls. That Kimono you're wearing is like something right out of that place."

Abuto rolled his eyes, exasperated, "Why are you complaining? You're the one who chose this Kimono!"

"I did not," Katsura flushed hotly, "Elizabeth chose that! I would never pick something so…revealing…"

Abuto blinked and was about to say something when Elizabeth's sign interrupted him, _Hey, toots, the Kimono I picked out for you looks good. So much better than that plain martial arts outfit you had on earlier._

Abuto's jaw dropped slightly, how had Katsura not guessed that Elizabeth was an old man by now? He was pretty sure that no girl would choose the Kimono he was now wearing. Abuto wanted to go over and strangle Elizabeth for choosing this abomination…or at least yell at it (on second thought, Elizabeth looked a little too intimidating to attack).

But, Abuto was interrupted again by Gin saying, "C'mon ladies, you're both pretty enough to be in Yoshiwara. Now, let's go, before Akari's guide decides to go to the meeting before us." He then pulled his Yukata over his "dynamite-boobs" as Kagura called them and began walking toward the door, not waiting for the other two to follow.

Abuto glared at Gin's back for a second, mad because being called pretty enough to be in Yoshiwara wasn't exactly a compliment. Looking over at Katsura, Abuto chuckled when it seemed as if the long-haired Joui Shishi was thinking exactly at the same time.

Catching Abuto's glance, Katsura gave Abuto a look that said all from earlier was forgiven, "I hate to admit it, but Gintoki is actually right, we must be going. It's not polite to keep a guide waiting."

Abuto nodded in agreement, and the two went through the open door, not sure exactly what was going to happen when they got to Yoshiwara.

**And that ends this chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed. Ah, now that I have Gintama 47 in Japanese, I can concentrate better on my finals…well, at least I have Gintama to help me along. As always, if you'd like, please leave a review, I love to know what you guys think. Until next week then, guys ^_^**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	15. The Trip to Yoshiwara Starts Out Badly

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I bring to you the 15****th**** chapter of this silly story! I actually wrote most of this on the plane home yesterday. That was pretty good way to pass the time. Before I knew it, five hours had passed and I was home! Anyway, here's the chapter, I hope you guys enjoy.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

"Where the hell is she, Akari?" Gin asked for about the tenth time in five minutes, tapping his foot impatiently on the ground, his arms crossed in the very picture of annoyance

Abuto rolled his eyes and sighed, he was getting really tired of Gin's impatience. It had been a long, stressful walk from Gin's house to Yoshiwara and Abuto was on his last nerve at the moment; who would have guessed that a group of supposed women in pretty Kimonos would get so many lecherous and or jealous stares? It was enough to fray Abuto's nerves enough that he had begun thinking it'd be ok to live as a woman for a while longer.

"Well," Gin asked again, "where is she?"

"Look," Abuto started, exasperated, "I don't know where she is .I don't know if she even looks like herself. And you asking me every two minutes is not going to change that. So stop asking."

Gin's eyes narrowed into an impatient, annoyed glare and Abuto thought he'd have to participate in round two of Harusame vs. Yorozuya. But, son, Gin huffed and turned away, "If she isn't here in twenty minutes, we're going to go find this place ourselves."

And so they went back to waiting for Mikazuki Tsumi to make an appearance. As the minutes dragged on, Abuto was beginning to catch Gin's impatience. What the hell was taking the witch girl so long? All she had to do was show up and they could get this whole thing over with. Was that really so hard?"

Abuto's increasingly annoyed thoughts were interrupted when Kagura squealed in excitement. Abuto was hoping that she'd spotted the witch girl, but when he looked in Kagura's direction he saw not Mikazuki Tsumi, but a woman with a scar on her right cheek and a pipe in her hand. The woman was wearing a black Kimono with orange maples printed on it; there was a slit that ran up on of the sides making both easier movement and a nice view of her shapely legs.

Abuto blinked, recognizing the woman as the leader of the Hyakka, Tsukuyo. Abuto then turned to make some comment to Gin that she might know where the witches were holding their meeting. But instead, he ended up smirking at the look now frozen on Gin's face. Gin's face had contorted into a look that was a mixture of apprehension and a plea of 'please don't let her notice us'.

Abuto chuckled silently to himself, wondering why Gin didn't want to meet with this woman. If he had to hazard a guess, though, it was probably because Gin didn't want the leader of the Hyakka to see him cross-dressing.

As Abuto was chuckling to himself about Gin's apprehension about seeing Tsukuyo, Kagura waved her hand excitedly, "Tsukki, over here!" When Tsukuyo's eyes landed on Kagura, her rather fierce looks softened into a smile and she began making her way over to the group. As the flaxen haired Ninja-prostitute got closer, Gin seemed to grow more and more agitated with every step she took. The silver-haired crossdresser then attempted to hide behind Elizabeth, who was probably the only one tall enough.

Elizabeth, who was now wearing a large bow as a disguise, held up a sign that read, _Gin-san, what do you think you're doing?_

"Oh, c'mon Elizabeth, let me hide behind you for a while. If that woman sees me with any other females besides Kagura, there're bound to be misunderstandings. So…Please?"

The duck-penguin thing seemed to be thinking about whether or not to let Gin hide behind 'her' for a few moments. But before she could write down anything on her next sign, Tsukuyo's voice called out, "Oh, Gintoki, is that you?"

Hearing his name called, Gin started guiltily and turned around slowly. Seeing what Gin was wearing Tsukuyo's eyebrow twitched and she asked, "Gintoki, what are you doing here dressed like that?"

Gin blanched and he then looked like he wanted to go crawl into a deep hole somewhere far away from here. Now he probably knew how Abuto felt being female; humiliated beyond belief and wearing a really dumb outfit.

After a moment, Gin mumbled, "It's a long story." And Abuto almost felt sorry for him. Except, not really, because he was about to make the situation a lot worse as payback for making him wear this revealing Kimono (even though it was Elizabeth who picked it out).

Just as the silence between Gin and Tsukuyo grew almost deafening for everyone else, Abuto decided it was time to make his move. He then sashayed over to Gin and pressed the silver-haired Samurai's arm against his ample chest.

Abuto felt Gin stiffen as he felt Abuto's cleavage. Gin glared at Abuto, his eyes narrowed in a silent, angry plea of 'don't'. But Abuto ignored the look, a sadistic smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Abuto then said in a tone that would have made him want to vomit any other time, "Mou, Gin-sa～n, let's go already! I haven't seen you in sooo long! And now that we're finally able to meet again, you're watching this other floozy? I bet she's really your down-low lover. And here I thought we shared something special!'

Both Gin's and Tsukuyo's eyes widened then, though for different reasons for sure. Gin, in his horror, opened his mouth to say something that might deny or negate what Abuto had just said. But, no words came out and his lips just flapped open and shut like he was a fish out of water, slowly dying because of the lack of oxygen.

Tsukuyo, her full attention now on Abuto, narrowed her eyes into a threatening glare that Abuto imagined would scare off most other people, and ground out a question in a frigid growl, "Who are? I've never seen you around these parts before."

"That's because I'm not a prostitute like most of the people here." Abuto started, adopting what he thought was a haughty tone, "And I think I should be the one asking who _you_ are and what you are to my Gin-san here." Abuto wasn't actually sure why he was provoking the leader of the Hyakka, but at the moment, he didn't care; he was having way too much fun teasing the two of them, his previous boredom almost completely forgotten.

By this time, Shinpachi, Kagura, Katsura, and Elizabeth had stopped looking for Mikazuki Tsumi and were watching Tsukuyo and Abuto 'argue. Shinpachi looked worried that their 'argument' might soon escalate into a full blown fight, Katsura looked amused that there were two women fighting over his perm-headed comrade, and Kagura looked ready to jump in and participate in their 'argument'. And Elizabeth looked…well it was hard to tell, but she looked like she was enjoying watching a cat-fight.

After some more petty back and forth between the two of them about various things Abuto guessed some women cared about (like looks or where they shopped or where they normally liked to hang out), Tsukuyo came over to where Abuto and Gin were and ripped Gin's arm away from Abuto's grasp, saying sarcastically, "That's quite enough of that. It's like you're asking to be attacked. Also, what were you thinking, wearing something like that here? You do know what kind of place this is don't you?"

"I know perfectly well what kind of place Yoshiwara is," Abuto winked, "I'm the one who chose it after all."

At that, Tsukuyo seemed to see red and Gin seemed to break out of his Abuto induced trance to glare at said Yato, "What are you talking about Akari? You didn't choose to come here—"

"Shhh," Abuto whispered seductively, an imitation of something he'd heard Kada do before, and pressed a finger to Gin's lips, "There's no need to let her know the sordid details of how we really chose this place. Some things really are better left unsaid after all."

At Gin's somewhat confused glare, Abuto let the sadistic grin he'd been trying to hold back all this time show fully. Understanding, finally, what Abuto was doing now, Gin frowned and mouthed around Abuto's finger, "This is not going to end well. For either of us. So I recommend that you stop and apologize to Tsukuyo right away."

Abuto winked and mouthed back, 'oh, we'll be fine. You should be thanking me. I'm just helping to alleviate any boredom from waiting for the witch girl.'

Gin's mouth twitched into an annoyed scowl. But before he could say anything else, Abuto sensed malice emanating from somewhere behind them, probably from where Tsukuyo was standing behind them. He then removed his finger from Gin's lips and managed to duck and push Gin's head down just as a kunai whizzed harmlessly past where Abuto's and Gin's heads had just been.

'Man this chick is possessive,' Abuto chuckled to himself seeing Tsukuyo's fiery expression and another Kunai poised to be thrown at the 'two trysting lovers' heads.

Seeing that she wasn't bing ignored anymore, Tsukuyo hissed, her voice absolutely livid, "So that's why you're here, eh Gintoki? Maybe I could understand coming here alone with her, but you brought Kagura and Shinpachi here too. Why would you want to scar them like that? And why the hell are you dressed as a woman?"

Oh, them?" Abuto scoffed, still pretending to be Gin's lover seeing as Mikazuki Tsumi still hadn't arrived, "They're not going to be watching us. I asked one of my…friends to babysit while _we _enjoy our time together. As for the reason we're dressed like you guys, it's so we'll blend in easier with the crowd."

"Was I talking to you, Akari?" Tsukuyo spat Abuto's fake name like it was a curse, her voice low and dangerous. But Abuto missed the rest of the angry Hyakka leader's sentence as his eyes landed of Mikazuki Tsumi a ways away.

All other sounds seemed to fade away as the witch girl turned toward Abuto, as is sensing his presence, as always. Abuto vaguely noticed that Tsumi was in her male form at the moment. She then gave Abuto a teasing smile that seemed to say 'catch me if you can' and then turned away from him and began walking again.

Seeing that if he didn't leave soon, he'd lose their guide to the witches' meeting, he'd have to stop teasing Tsukuyo. Abuto's sense then focused back on the Hyakka leader who was still ranting. Abuto cut her off mid-word by saying, "I'm sorry to cut off your tirade, but we really must be going now. Maybe we can finish this some other time."

He then began walking in the direction he saw the witch girl go, pulling Gin along as he went. Looking slightly confused, or disappointed in Elizabeth's case, the other four followed along soon after they saw that Abuto was leaving.

As he passed Tsukuyo, Abuto whispered low and fast, "You don't really have anything to worry about; I'm not going to steal your precious 'Gintoki' away from you. I just had to tease you a bit since it's been so long since we last saw each other Leader-of-the-Hyakka-san. I imagine it would be hard to forget the people who barred tour exit from Yoshiwara that time. I mean I certainly remember your face as you fell off the pipe my boss broke. As I said, there's nothing for you to worry about, I am, after all, male. There may be some guys who might go for that perm-head, but not me."

Registering who she had been arguing with earlier, Tsukuyo turned to yell, 'Gintoki, be careful, that Yato Kagura fought when she was here is in your midst'. But she was too late, the five had already become too lost in the crowd.

* * *

"What the hell was that about?" Gin growled after Abuto had let go of his sleeve.

"Yeah, Shinpachi," chimed in, "What you were doing with Tsukuyo-san was really dangerous, Akari-san. You really could have ended up hurt."

Abuto, eyes still trained on where Tsumi was replied without looking at either of them, "Well I needed some fun, and Tsukuyo just happened to come along. If it had gotten violent I could have defended myself."

"So why did you stop so suddenly then, Abu-chan! I would have enjoyed seeing you and Tsukki square off, uh-huh." Kagura added

"Leader," Katsura asked rather randomly, "Why do you call Akari-dono 'Abu-chan'?"

Abuto, ignoring Katsura was about to say that he'd seen Mikazuki Tsumi, but was cut off by Kagura who was answering Katsura's question, "I call Akari Abu-chan because she likes horseflies, uh-huh! Right, Abu-chan?"

"Yeah, that's right," Abuto said distractedly, "I like horseflies. Anyway, to answer Shinpachi-kun's and Gin-san's question, I saw Mikazuki Tsumi walking, so it must have been time for the witches' meeting." He then pointed in the direction of the witch girl. Since there were entering a part of Yoshiwara that seemed to have less people, she wasn't hard to spot.

Gin found her and scowled, "I hate to break it to you, Akari, but that's a guy."

Abuto rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I can see that. But that's her. When I met her for the first time, that's the form she took. Just trust me, I know what I'm doing.'

"Tch, somehow I'm starting to doubt that you actually do," Gin snapped, still pissed at Abuto for almost setting Tsukuyo off.

Gin then walked up next to Abuto and hissed quietly, "If you ever put me in a situation like that again, Jiraiya-kun, you'll e going back to those space pirate buddies of yours in a body bag."

"Oh?" Abuto sneered, "And who would that be thanks to?"

"Well, it certainly won't be me. You saw Tsukuyo, with her temper you won't last long if you keep 'teasing' her like you did."

Abuto was going to say something along the lines of 'as if that'll ever happen', when he noticed that Tsumi had entered a building. Abuto then looked around at the surrounding area in case they'd have to make a quick getaway.

Gin seemed to be doing the same thing because he commented to no one in particular, "Wow, I never knew Yoshiwara had empty places like this."

"Of course they do," Katsura said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Where else do you think these people would store the things they either don't need or are going to use in the future. Most of the warehouses are abandoned, though, so sometimes us Joui Shishi use them for meetings."

Both Gin and Abuto looked over at Katsura, slightly surprised that Katsura would know anything about Yoshiwara, he didn't seem like the type who'd want anything to do with the prostitute city.

But it was Shinpachi who asked the question that both Abuto and Gin were thinking, "Katsura-san, how do you know so much about Yoshiwara? I never thought you to be the type of person to come here…though, I probably shouldn't be here either…"

Katsura flushed, and looked away from them at some point on the ground, "I-it's not like I come here regularly. We only came here once when those Shinsengumi bastards were watching all the other places we usually meet."

Gin nodded sagely, walked over to Katsura, and patted him on the shoulder, "Whatever you say, Zura. So, did you get any action when you were here for your 'meeting?"

Katsura's eyes widened as if Gin had spoken the devil's words, then shook his head fervently. Then after flushing a darker red, he mumbled, "It's not Zura, it's Zurako."

"Yes, yes," Gin said, still patting his former comrade on the shoulder, "And I'm Paako. Shall we get going to the meeting now?"

Everyone in the group nodded and turned back to the building that Tsumi had gone into. The building was very unassuming, grey warehouse. But there was something sinister about it, a dark aura emanating off of it. Abuto swallowed thickly, a chill running up his spine.

He swallowed again and looked around at his group of "friends". Their faces were a mixture of excited (Kagura), apprehensive (Shinpachi), bored (Gin), embarrassed (Katsura), and Abuto really couldn't tell what Elizabeth was thinking.

Abuto looked back at the warehouse and sighed, "Well we might as well get this over with." And began walking toward the building.

**And that is the end of this chapter. Next time will be the beginning of the witches' meeting. On a side note, Abu means horsefly so that's why Kagura told Katsura that the reason she called Abuto Abu-chan is because he likes horseflies. Well…um…that's all I have to say this time. So, I guess I'll see you guys next week then…Ah, it's really nice to be home. Anyway, as always if you like, please leave a review, I always love to know what you guys think. See you next week then guys. Oh, yeah, you guys should go vote on my poll ^_^**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	16. The Witches' Meeting Begins

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. Today was a busy day for me Fanfiction-wise. I wrote both my Naruto chapter and my Gintama chapter today. Man…writing two stories in a day is hard work. I think I'll try not to do that again…Well anyway, here's the 16****th**** chapter, I hope you guys enjoy!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

As Abuto began walking toward the warehouse that held the witches' meeting, he was stopped as Gin yelled, "Oi, Akari, wait a minute. There's one last thing we gotta do before we head in."

Abuto rolled his eyes, and then turned around, an irritated eyebrow cocked in a silent question of 'what the hell do you want now? Can't we just get this over with?' but instead of an answer, Abuto was met with what looked to be the beginnings of a sadistic smile and a crocked finger.

And the next thing he knew, a dog collar was being fastened around his neck by a very apologetic looking Shinpachi. Once the collar was on, Gin picked up the leash that Abuto saw was attached to the front of the collar and with a sharp tug, Abuto was forced to start walking toward the building again (if he didn't want to be strangled, that is).

Abuto blinked in confusion and shock, his senses still not registering what had just happened. After a few steps, though, he looked down at the collar, then back up at Gin's back a little ways away. Abuto's eyes narrowed into an angry glare and an almost silent, feral growl escaped his lips, "What the hell do you think you're doing, making me wear something like this?

The sandy haired Yato felt the leash slacken as Gin moved closer to him. Once he was close enough, he gave Abuto an almost coy smile as he answered Abuto's previous question, "Well, I would have told you about our updated plan earlier, but you were asleep when we made it. And I meant to tell you in Yoshiwara, but then you had to go fight Tsukuyo so I didn't get time. Well, sorry about that."

"Tch," Abuto narrowed his eyes even further, "I really doubt that you're sorry in the least. Well, whatever, you can tell me the plan now, can't you?"

Gin shook his head, a mock grave look replacing the smile, "I'm afraid I can't do that, Jiraiya-kun."

"And why not?" Abuto hissed

"Because," Gin said cheerfully, "We're already there. So just follow my lead."

Abuto sighed, seeing that Gin was right and that they really were almost there. Hopefully this stupid collar would come off once they were inside the meeting hall. The outside door of the warehouse led the group into a hallway with a long line of people; Abuto assumed they were all witches, but he wasn't sure. Some of the attendees were Amanto, which made Abuto wonder what it took to become a witch.

When the group was almost at the front of the line, they saw the witch before the witch in front of them preform a complicated hand gesture. None of them were sure they'd be able to memorize it, let alone mimic it, by the time they were in line.

Panicking just a little bit, they watched the witch in front of them go up to the bouncer. By some stroke of luck, the next in line was also a newcomer. The witch shuffled up nervously to the bouncer and said quietly, "I-I've never been here before…But one of my friends told me that this was the best place for people like us…So I wanted to attend. But…it seems I won't be able to get in because I don't know the entrance hand code…."

The bouncer nodded and then said soothingly, "Don't worry about that. If it's your first time here then all you need to do is tell us either the reason why you're here or a spell you've cast recently."

The person ahead of them seemed to lighten up immensely at that. And after a minute of thought, the witch beamed and announced a spell she had done recently; a spell to help her friend curse a lover who cheated on the friend.

As the witch girl in front of them was let into the room, the group breathed a collective sigh of relief; they would probably be able to get into the meeting after all. Gin then looked at all the group and whispered, "Alright guys, we can put our plan into action now."

The others, sans Abuto who still had no idea what the plan was, nodded. Just then, the bouncer called out a little impatiently, "Next group, you're holding up the line."

The group then began the short walk up to the door. Once there, Gin said, "Ah, sorry we took so long, our guinea pig just would come along. We ended up having to attach this collar to her."

The bouncer raised a suspicious eyebrow, but made no comment. The only words out of the bouncer's mouth were, "show me the code."

There was a short, slightly tense pause, and then Shinpachi said in an anxious voice (probably hoping that the bouncer wouldn't see through the lie), "Um…We don't actually know the code…This is our first time here as well."

"Ah," the bouncer responded with a curt nod, "Then can you tell me any spells you've done recently?"

Gin nodded and without missing a beat, tugged on Abuto's leash causing him to stumble forward a few steps, "The spell our group is in the middle of casting is one to transfer her ample cleavage to our leader." With his other hand he pointed to Katsura.

There was a pregnant pause then, Abuto really wanted to slap his hand to his forehead in exasperation, how had they come up with such a dumb spell, Abuto could not fathom. The bouncer didn't look like he really believed him either because he asked, voice laced with distrust, "Why would you cast a spell like that?"

At that, Gin, Kagura, and Shinpachi began lining up in some very ridiculous poses. Then Gin said, "I'm Paako!"

Shinpachi followed with, "I'm Pachie!

And finally Kagura shouted "I'm Gurako!"

Once they had all introduced themselves, all three said at the same time, "Together, we are the Peachburst Amigos!"

The silence that ensued was even more awkward than the last. Abuto really didn't understand how this plan had gotten them into Hosen-Danna's place, and he certainly doubted that it would work this time. Abuto thought that the bouncer agreed with Abuto's thought as she said, "Um…I didn't ask who you were, I don't really care, All I wanted to know was why you're trying to cast such a weird transference spell…"

"Well, you see," Gin started explaining, "The Peachburst Amigos is a group of witches with very large cleavage. Our boss, Zurako, though, was sadly born with a very small chest. Because of this, she could never attend out public excursions. Therefore we decided that we would cast a breast transference spell on this woman we found. Since she has such a large chest, she could stand to give some to our master."

The bouncer, still looking skeptical, turned to Katsura and asked, "Is this true, are you really casting a spell to get more…cleavage?"

Katsura put a hand to the side of his mouth and began laughing haughtily, making Gin's face fall. He then mouthed silently, 'Zura, you're a witch, not an Okama. Witches don't laugh like that!' he looked like he really hoped Katsura would get the message.

Abuto thought that Katsura was still acting more like a drag queen when he said, "O-hohoho, of course that's the spell I told them to cast. More cleavage would mean that I can spread the word of the Peachburst Amigos!"

The bouncer sweatdropped, but since they did state a spell that they were casting, she had no choice to let them in. She should probably warn Yanagi-sama about them, they might prove to be trouble later. But for now all the bouncer could say was, "Ok, you can go in."

As they were walking into the meeting room, Gin whispered fiercely at Katsura, "Zura, you almost blew our cover. We're witches, not Okama!"

"It's not Zura, it's Zurako. And I know that we're not Okama. My witch laugh was perfectly fine; you need to stop worrying so much, I wouldn't mess up the chance to cure Elizabeth from her curse!"

Gin shook his head, unable to say anything to Katsura's insistence that Elizabeth was cursed. And so, the rest of the walk to the room the meeting would be held was silent.

Once the group had made it safely to the room, they all relaxed. Now all they had to do was wait for the meeting to start. Abuto, realizing that the dog collar was still on him turned to Gin and growled, "Sakata, get this thing off me. There's no need for it anymore is there?"

Gin grinned in response, "Oh, but Akari, that collar suits you so well. Don't you want to play S&M with me for just a little longer?"

Abuto's mouth opened to respond, but it was Katsura who spoke, an indignant look on his face, "Gintoki! You mustn't bring your perversions here, this is a place of witchcraft, not…S…and…M" Katsura finished with a blush on his face.

Shinpachi, agreeing with Katsura, spoke up as well, "Katsura's right, Gin-san, you don't need to subject Akari-san to your weirdness anymore."

For good measure, Kagura added, "Yeah, Gin-chan, you're nothing like that Shinsengumi sadist after all, uh-huh!"

Gin rolled his eyes, but assented to the majority and took of the collar. Once it was off, Abuto rubbed his neck and rolled it around a few times to get the kinks out. As he was doing this, the room seemed to grow quiet, all the chatter from a minute ago dying out.

Eventually, when the only noise that could be heard was the cracking sounds Abuto's neck was making, he looked up, slightly embarrassed. He didn't know that his neck could be that loud. But his thoughts about the loud sounds his body could produce were quieted when his eyes were drawn to Mikazuki Tsumi on a stage that he hadn't noticed when he'd entered the room.

The witch girl looked unlike he'd ever seen her before. On the stage she was standing on, she looked very small. She was too far away from Abuto for him to really tell her facial expression, but to his eyes she looked just a little scared. Abuto was sure he was imagining it, though, because somehow they made eye contact and Abuto could detect an almost confident smile from her. It made him wonder what her role in this meeting would be.

Soon, another, taller woman walked onto the stage. The newcomer had long, straight, black hair; her face was adorned with a sour, somber look. She was wearing black robes that seemed to spark subtly with some unseen power.

Once everyone in the room's attention was on this lady, she began speaking. Somehow, her voice echoed throughout the whole warehouse, despite the fact that there wasn't a microphone or bullhorn in sight, "Greetings to all that are here today. I see some new faces in the crowd today; I am elated that you all could make it to our first meeting in a long time. I am Yanagi, the leader of our group, the Yorugao."

Abuto would have scoffed had the room not been so silent; the name of their group seemed slightly ridiculous. "Yorugao" or moon flower seemed like a strange name for a group of witches. But Abuto probably shouldn't thing that as Harusame, or spring rain, was a strange name for a group of pirates.

As the witch leader started speaking again, Abuto started daydreaming. Because the witch leader seemed to just be talking about what was going to happen at this meeting, Abuto didn't feel the need to pay any attention. It's not like he was ever going to attend another meeting after this.

Instead, Abuto began thinking about how the soon-to-come battle with the witches would play out. Abuto hadn't had much experience fighting beings with magic before, so he wasn't sure how this would play out at all. He imagined that their magic would make it easier to fight long-range with his umbrella-gun than short distance combat.

Abuto was forced to start paying attention to the meeting when everyone started singing, making it too hard for Abuto to hear his own thoughts. Annoyed, Abuto wondered why there was singing at a witches' meeting. Listening to the words of the song, Abuto did not discern any meaning at all. The lyrics just sounded like nonsense to his musically untrained ears.

Abuto then turned to Gin and whispered, "Sakata, why are we supposed to be singing now?"

Gin shrugged, "Dunno, wasn't really paying attention. What they were talking about before seemed really boring, so I stopped listening."

Abuto mentally sighed, of course Gin wouldn't be paying attention either, it was inevitable with his luck. Abuto wanted to ask either Shinpachi or Katsura what they singing about, but they both seemed to be concentrating very hard on the song.

It was Kagura who answered Abuto's question, eventually. She turned to him after a little while, and seeing his confusion said, "Abu-chan, you should have been paying more attention; we are doing this for you sake after all, uh-huh."

Abuto chuckled, amazed that Kagura was being the most adult at the moment, "Yeah, sorry Kagura, I think I've lost my ability to pay attention in long meetings. You brother tends not to hold meetings at all."

Kagura grinned, "That's not surprising, he always had a short attention span, uh-huh!"

"So, what are we singing about?" Abuto asked again in an attempt to not talk about Kamui that would probably end with said Yato making an appearance and Abuto getting in trouble.

Kagura nodded, and said, "The leader lady said something about a 'song of ascension'. I don't really know what it is, but it doesn't sound good."

Abuto had to agree with Kagura there. Whatever this "Song of Ascension" was, it couldn't lead to anything good. But Abuto didn't really want to be outed as an outsider yet, so he mouthed the rest of the song as best as he could.

When the song was over, the leader witch clapped her hands once, and her voice boomed once again, "Thank you everyone for singing the Song of Ascension so well. Now we can start this most auspicious ceremony on a good note."

The witch leader paused in her speech, and Abuto wondered once again what Mikazuki Tsumi's role in this meeting would be. Then the leader began speaking again, "Now it is time for the Transference of Power ceremony. After a long process, we have finally decided that our next leader will be our founder's granddaughter, Mikazuki Tsumi."

Abuto's eyes widened in surprise, he hadn't known that the witch girl was such a prominent member of this witch society. And although, this made some things clearer to Abuto about how the witch girl knew about her magic, it brought up one large question as well: What in the world had she brought Abuto here to do?

**And that ends this chapter. I hope y'all (I think my computer and I have finally come to an agreement on how to spell this word!) enjoyed the cliffhanger ^_^ I know I did. Um…what else is there to say…Oh, yeah! We're almost at 100 reviews for this story! That makes me so happy! I never thought this silly gender-bender story that I thought up while watching Ranma ½ would get so much positive feedback. Thank you all very much! I hope you all keep reading this story and reviewing (if you want to, that is). I hope you all have a good Christmas or winter break or whatever it is that you celebrate! See you next week.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	17. The Curse is Finally Broken

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I am happy to announce that this story has received 100 reviews! Thank you everyone who has supported this story, I hope you continue to read 'til the end! So, without further gushing from me, I present the 17****th**** chapter, I hope y'all enjoy ^_^**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

"So, what are we going to do now?" Gin asked. Abuto, who wasn't really paying attention to Gin and the others didn't hear the silver-haired Samurai's question and continued watching Mikazuki Tsumi. The witch girl seemed to be looking straight at Abuto, her eyes making a silent plea perhaps to save her. Abuto couldn't understand why it had to be him; why couldn't she have just asked the Yorozuya Trio directly for help, instead of this roundabout, long-winded scheme.

Seeing that Abuto still hadn't answered the question Gin had asked, Kagura piped in, "Yeah, Abu-chan, what should we do now? I bet leaving that Tsumi lady there wouldn't be a good idea."

"Yeah," Abuto said, shaking all the questions out of his head, "We should probably go help her. That's probably why she did all this in the first place."

"Yeah, sure, that's fine." Gin said with a nod, "You are our customer after all. But this is probably going to cost you much more than it originally would have."

"What in the world are you talking about? I never knew I was going to have to pay, I thought you were doing this for free."

"Well, that was the original plan," Gin chuckled, "but that's before I knew you were a guy and a pirate. Now that I know both of those things, I'm gonna charge you big time."

"Well now," Abuto scoffed, "I think you're one of the only people I know who would actually have the gall to take money from a pirate. Congratulations, you are a very rare breed of idiot."

"Hn," Gin replied in a mock sultry voice, "There are a lot of things you don't know about me then, aren't there, 'Abu-chan'."

Before Abuto could think of a response to Gin, Katsura asked, somewhat shocked, "Gintoki, what do you mean, Akari-dono is a guy? You can clearly tell by her large bust that she is most definitely female."

"Well that's where you're wrong, Zura," Gin laughed, "I can guarantee that when our 'Akari's' curse is lifted she will turn into a very burly man."

"What?" Katsura asked, so confused that he even forgot his normal 'it's not Zura, it's Katsura', "How can that be? Is this true Akari-dono?"

"Yep, it's true alright. The curse that was placed on me by the girl on the stage turned me into a woman." Abuto pointed to Mikazuki Tsumi for emphasis

Katsura blinked again in confusion, and Elizabeth held up a sign that read, _If that's true, then why do you want to save her now? Would you not rather see what happens to her when this ceremony whatever is over?_

"Nah," Gin said, answering for Abuto, "this guy's got a soft spot for kids, so he'd rather help them than get revenge or hurt them too badly. Just ask Kagura or Shinpachi, they fought him a while ago."

"Tch," Abuto growled without much feeling, "Shut up, let's just go help the witch girl already. Don't go tellin' everyone my weaknesses."

"Can't be much of a weakness if you're not even denying it." Gin chuckled

"Shut up," Abuto said again, "we're going to leave you behind if you don't get moving now."

Gin chuckled again, but said nothing as he began walking with the others toward the stage. Because there were so many people attending the meeting, it took a lot of convincing to get them to allow the group to move up to the front. So, to actually get to the front, there were a lot of 'Won't you please let us go in front of you? It is our first time here after all's and 'Don't you know who we are? The Peachburst Amigos are the premier witch organization of Edo. If you don't let us up, Yanagi-sama will be very disappointed in you's.

Once they actually made it to the front, Abuto looked straight at Tsumi and was slightly surprised to see how calm she looked from this distance. She then locked eyes with him and shook her head just slightly. Abuto raised an eyebrow in defiance that sent a silent message, 'if you think I'm leaving before you lift the curse you put on me, then you're sorely mistaken. You stuck with me until I become a man again.'

At that, a small smile appeared at the corners of the witch girl's lips and she gave a small nod that seemed to say, 'fine, do what you want. But if you want the curse lifted, you'll have to stop Yanagi.'

Abuto then looked away from Tsumi and whispered to the others "not yet, let's see what happens for just a little longer."

"Why should we wait, uh-huh? Shouldn't we rescue her now?" Kagura asked

"Yeah, I thought you wanted to finish this as fast as possible." Gin added

"Of course I want this to end quickly, but I have an idea, so can you wait just a little while longer?"

"Whatever man," Gin shrugged, "it's your bill. You can do whatever you want as long as you understand that you're gonna be charged for it."

"What the hell are you suddenly charging me for? It's not waiting is such a bad thing."

"Oh, don't mind him," Shinpachi said, "He's just trying to rile you up."

"Yeah," Gin added, "it's working too. Shinpachi, why can't you let me have my fun every once in a while?"

"Because Gin-san," Shinpachi sighed, "you'll probably end up going too far and mess up Abuto-san's plan."

"Oh, peh," Gin huffed, "you're no fun. I just like messing with him a bit, he's so uptight otherwise."

"I heard that, Sakata. Don't talk about me like I'm not standing right next to you."

Before Gin could respond to Gin, Kagura shushed them with a, "Shut up you three, sour witch leader is starting to talk again."

The three arguing guys then looked toward the stage just in time for Yanagi to speak again, "But before we begin the ceremony of ascension I must ask the customary question: Is there anyone willing to take our founder's granddaughter's place in the role of leader of the Yorugao?"

The room then became totally silent. Abuto imagined that the other witches were either too scared to speak up or they didn't envy Tsumi being the sacrifice, probably, in whatever 'ceremony' was about to take place. Abuto then decided that he'd put the almost foolish plan he had into action.

Just as Yanagi opened her mouth to speak up, Abuto raised his hand and said in a loud voice, "I wish to take Mikazuki Tsumi's place."

The stunned silence that followed put a slight smirk on Abuto's face; it was an almost pleasant feeling to leave people too stunned for words. After a moment, the leader witch's eyebrow shot up and she asked, "And what makes you more qualified for this auspicious position than the person we've chosen?"

Abuto smirked up at the witch leader, "Because the spells she casts tend not to go very well."

"And what do you mean by that? Our founder's granddaughter has reported to me that all the spells I've asked her to cast have gone without hitch. Besides, how would you know such a thing, I've heard that this is your first time here."

"Oh, I know all too well how bad Mikazuki Tsumi's have gone. Why don't I tell you all about it?"

Yanagi's eyes narrowed and she seemed to be deliberating on whether or not Abuto was telling the truth. Seeing that the witch leader was distracted for the moment, Abuto flicked his gaze over to the witch girl. The look on her face was one of understanding, which, for some reason or other, bolstered Abuto's courage that this idea of his would work after all.

Abuto's eyes quickly returned to the witch leader when she said in that same booming voice, "Fine, you may come up to the stage and explain yourself."

Abuto had to chuckle quietly at what Yanagi said, it was like she thought Abuto would be too afraid of telling what he knew in front of so many people. Ah, what little she knew; Abuto'd had to talk before many more people on a much more regular basis when Kamui decided that he didn't want to be the one to address his subordinates.

As Abuto was about to jump onto the stage, he felt Gin's and the others' eyes on his back. He looked over to them and saw the same question in each of their eyes, 'Are you sure you know what you're doing?' Gin gave a quick nod and barely a glance at the bombs that were underneath the Kimono of the Yorozuya trio, hoping they would understand that he wanted then to detonate the bombs on his signal.

Abuto leaped onto the stage with a catlike grace. Once stable from the landing, he turned to face the crowd; most of them seemed angry that he was disrupting the 'ceremony' that was about to happen, but some of the others looked slightly intrigued about what Abuto could possibly have to say about their possible successor.

Abuto then turned to Yanagi with a smirk and asked, "So, do you remember when you asked Mikazuki Tsumi to curse the legendary sweeper, Umibouzu?"

Abuto heard Yanagi suck in an almost inaudible breath as a dark look passed over her features. The witch leader then asked, her voice low and dangerous, "How would you know about that?"

Abuto said nothing as his smirk grew wider; like he was the cat who had ate the canary. Abuto watched as a realization passed over the leader of the Yorugao, he face paling as a certain thought crossed her mind.

Finally, the witch leader said, her voice barely above a whisper, "Don't tell me…You're Umibouzu? H-how did you get here? That curse should have left you incapable of going out in public again…"

"Oh, is that what it was supposed to do?" Abuto asked, basking just slightly in the fact that she thought he was Umibouzu and was therefore afraid of him, "Well, I guess if I was Umibouzu this would be pretty embarrassing."

"What do you mean, 'if I was Umibouzu'?" Yanagi asked, more suspicious than afraid of what Abuto was saying now.

"Well, you see," Abuto started, "I believe your founder's granddaughter decided herself that she didn't want to become your new leader. So, she cursed me instead of Umibouzu. Not sure why, though, I'd imagine Umibouzu would want the curse to be lifted just as much as I want it to."

In what seemed to be shock, the only words that came out of the witch leader's mouth were, "So…you're not Umibouzu?"

"Bingo," Abuto winked, "I'm not that balding old man. I work for his much more dangerous son, Kamui, the admiral of the Harusame Space Pirates."

"I don't believe you," the witch leader said after a moment, "Show me proof that you're not just making this up to scare me."

Abuto sighed and then looked over to Mikazuki Tsumi. A silent understanding passed between them and Abuto turned back to look at the witch leader one more time. Seeing the triumphant look on Yanagi's face that meant she thought Abuto was looking to Tsumi in a last ditch effort to prolong her lie, Abuto decided that it was time to make this woman's plans fall to pieces before her very eyes.

Abuto then grinned darkly at the witch leader, "You want proof that I'm not lying do you? Then I'll give you what you want."

Abuto then turned to the crowd again. He saw what looked to be anticipation and slightly fearful excitement in their eyes. Abuto then looked once again to Gin and the others and said in a low, voice, "Now."

And then several things happened at once; the Yorozuya trio pulled open the tops of their Kimonos to reveal smoke bombs that were under them. People near the three yelped in surprise and shouted, "Bomb" making almost everyone in the vicinity scatter to the corners of the warehouse.

Then the Yorozuya trio lit the smoke bombs and soon, smoke filled the room completely. Abuto then heard a barely decipherable word and his body felt like it was on fire. He looked in the direction of he thought the leader witch to be in and saw her cape glittering darkly through the smoke.

When he spotted Yanagi, he heard her hiss, "That's what you get for trying to disrupt my meeting with your lies. I hope you burn slowly, Umibouzu."

"I thought I told you," Abuto said, his breath coming out in short, painful pants, "I'm not Umibouzu." And Abuto collapsed onto the floor of the stage, curling up into a small ball to try and fend off the pain that was wracking his body.

Just when the pain was at its worst, Abuto thought he saw something blue flash. Thinking it trick of the pain he thought nothing of it at first, but then he saw the flash again. Then he heard Yanagi growl in annoyance, "Why the hell is he not dead yet? Did you do something to him Tsumi?"

"Oh, nothing really," Abuto could hear the amusement in in here voice, and wondered vaguely what the hell was making her so happy, "I just enchanted that lovely piece of fabric he's wearing so it would dispel any death curse you might place upon him."

Hearing her say this aloud, Abuto realized that the pain that he'd been feeling earlier was subsiding. Soon, he found that he was able to uncurl himself from the ball he was previously in and he was standing soon after that.

Yanagi, realizing that Abuto wasn't dead after all, snarled, "How could you do this to me Tsumi? I thought we were in this together."

"No," came Tsumi's cold reply, "I never wanted this. When I learned what had taken you over, mother, I resolved to make sure that it would never plague us again."

Abuto missed the rest of the conversation, thinking, 'what in the world did she bring me here for? I'm willing to do a lot of things, but I think taking out someone's mother is beyond a what I'm capable of.'

Just as Abuto was about to ask Tsumi what it was she wanted exactly, he heard another barely decipherable word and he was filled with a strengthening warmth. The warmth washed throughout his body making him feel taller and stronger than he had in a long time. Abuto didn't have to think about what spell had just been cast on him because soon he felt the Kimono he was wearing slip down his now very flat chest.

Grinning and flexing the large muscles he once again had, Abuto turned to see Tsumi with his cape in her hands. Raising an eyebrow, Abuto asked, "How the hell do you seem to have exactly what I need all the damn time, witch girl?"

"Not witch girl," Tsumi corrected gently, "more like psychic girl. I've never had much talent for spells. I've much more of a penchant toward teleporting and mind reading."

"Yeah," Abuto responded sardonically, "I kinda figured that out when you seemed to have no idea what the spells you cast would do."

"Oh, Abuto-san, you do flatter me so. Before you make me blush too much and before this smoke clears, why don't you put your clothes on?" Abuto rolled his eyes and grabbed his black martial arts outfit out of her hands and put it on just as the smoke began to clear.

**And that is the end of this chapter. It makes me slightly sad and slightly happy say that this story will probably only have one or two more chapters after this one…or maybe I'll make this story a nice, round 20 chapters, not sure yet. What do you guys think I should do? Well, until next week then guys. As always, if you'd like, please review, I love to know what you guys think.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	18. In Which Things are Explained on a Stage

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I don't really have anything to say right now, so without further ado, I present the 18****th**** chapter of this silly story ^_^ Hope you guys enjoy!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei**_

The first thing Abuto heard as the smoke cleared from the room was Katsura. The raven-haired man had made a loud surprised gasp and practically shouted, "Gintoki, Akari-dono really is a man!"

The next thing he heard was Gintoki's annoyed sigh, "Yeah, I can see that Zura. I thought I told you about his curse earlier."

"But, I thought you were telling me a joke!" came Katsura's response, "A little levity is always good before a mission, after all."

"Levity is one thing," Abuto could hear the annoyance in Gin's voice, "but a man being cursed by mistake is something too farfetched to make up."

"Yep," Abuto called into the smoke, "I may be pretty good at making things up, but I wouldn't make up what happened to me. I'm just not that kind of guy."

"Yeah," Gin scoffed before Katsura could say anything else, "you're the type of guy who fights kids, instead."

"Hey," Abuto retorted, "If I had the choice, I probably wouldn't have fought those two brats with you at all."

Abuto could feel Gin's annoyance radiating off of him and he heard Tsumi's laugh. But before anyone could say anything else, Yanagi growled, "Enough, cease this useless drivel at once. I will not be ignored any longer!"

The witch leader then waved her arms upward and outward, making all the rest of the smoke disappear somehow. Yanagi then turned over to glare at both Abuto and Tsumi. The witch leader's eyes took on a dull yellow-ish sheen as she said, "You tricked me, Tsumi. I told you to curse the sweeper, Umibouzu, not this unknown. How could you bring in this outsider into our meeting? What have I ever done to you?"

"You possessed my mother, for one," Tsumi glared back, "before 'you' came into the picture, the Yorugao witch association wasn't a bad place. If not for you, we could have continued helping out the people of Edo who were in need of magical assistance."

"Hah," Yanagi's voice seemed to change just a little, it became slightly deeper and more gravelly sounding, "before I came along, all you so-called witches were doing was helping people who thought they were possessed by evil spirits. Of course you guys didn't say anything, but there were no evil spirits anywhere around you guys."

"That's not entirely true," Tsumi responded, "there were plenty of people who actually were in need of magical assistance. But, you wouldn't know that now, would you."

"You would dare say that I, Kuro-Shinju, am wrong about something?"

"Yes—" was the only word Tsumi could say, before a large black cloud seemed to explode out of Yanagi. The dark cloud seemed to be expanding out of the shimmery cloak Yanagi was wearing. The dark mass eventually began to look like some sort of face, glaring malevolently at everyone in its vicinity. Abuto couldn't quite understand what had set the spirit off, but whatever the reason; the thing now seemed ready to kill them all. Abuto shrugged mentally, fighting a spirit would make a good story to tell the admiral, after all.

Abuto must have missed something important, because the next thing he knew Tsumi was pushing him down onto the floor of the stage saying, "Abuto-san, get down!"

Abuto blinked in the sight of the somewhat grimy stage and asked, "What just happened? What is that thing, coming out of your, mother, was it?"

Tsumi sighed, "Abuto-san, you really need to get out of your own head. That 'thing', as you called it, is an ancient spirit that my mother was sent to purify. I went with her and watched as my mom attempted to purify it from the place it was haunting. But, something went wrong, and it possessed her instead. I was able to protect myself, but I'm powerless to stop it."

"And you dragged me into this because?" Abuto asked, wondering what he could do about some spirit when a psychic was powerless against it.

"Originally, the Yorugao was a group my grandmother founded to help people who had powers that they couldn't understand or control. The group used to be full of witches, Miko, and psychics like me. But when the spirit took my mother over, she sent all the people who weren't witches away. As the spirit took control of the Yorugao, I observed it and researched anything I could about when it wasn't watching. I learned that its only weaknesses was a special sort of bullet. I have the bullets, but, as it turns out, they can only be used in a Yato's umbrella."

"And you couldn't have just asked the Yorozuya's little Yato girl? Why'd you have to bring me in into this?"

"Because the spirit found out about my research. It then told me to find the one person who could probably destroy it for free and curse that person. It then gave me a picture of Umibouzu when he was younger and told me to go find him."

"You couldn't have spared me the indignity of being a female by actually cursing that balding old man?"

"Of course not," Tsumi said simply, "it just happened that way."

"What do you mean by that?" Abuto asked, feeling slightly annoyed that the reason he was cursed was because it 'just happened that way'

"Originally, I was planning on turning Umibouzu into a woman. But then I saw you wandering around Edo, and I noticed that you looked almost exactly like the legendary sweeper when he was younger. So I followed you, and you know what happens after that."

"Yeah," Abuto rolled his eyes at the memory, "you made up some crap about some test that I failed and then cursed me."

As Tsumi was about to say something else (no doubt, some comment about how the way she had cursed Abuto was quite necessary to her plan), Gin shouted, "Hey, you two on the stage, get down here and help us. As much as I'd like an explanation for whatever the hell is happening right now, it can wait until after we've defeated this spirit, or whatever it is."

Tsumi made an amused sound of agreement and said to Abuto, "Is he always like this when he asks for help?"

Abuto shrugged, "Probably; but I wouldn't know, I've been doing all the asking for help while I've been with them."

Tsumi laughed again then stood up. When Abuto didn't sense the girl moving away from the stage, he stood up as well, eyebrow raised, wondering what was wrong. He saw Tsumi looking over at a human-shaped lump a little ways away. It took Abuto a moment to realize that the lump was actually Yanagi, lying either unconscious or dead there on the stage.

Abuto took another look at Tsumi then walked over to the former witch leader. Abuto bent down and put two fingers at the pulse point at her neck. After a second, Abuto stood back up and walked back to Tsumi. He ruffled her head and said, "Don't worry, your ma ain't dead. Just unconscious, I imagine that being possessed by a ghost for so long drained a lot of her energy."

Tsumi turned her head away from Abuto slightly, and he realized she must have been crying. After the more-sensitive-than-she-looked psychic girl composed herself, she turned back to Abuto and said in a slightly choked voice, "Thank you Abuto-san. We better get going now, your friend Sakata Gintoki doesn't seem like the most patient person in the world."

Abuto nodded and chuckled just as aforementioned Gin shouted again, "Oi, you two, get down here already. If you don't, I'm going to charge the both of you!"

"Oh, quit your whining Sakata," Abuto shouted back, "have some patience. I was just checking whether the girl's mom was alright or not."

"I don't care what you were doing. When fighting a ghost, one needs all the help one can get. So get your ass off that stage and help already." Was what Gin said, but Abuto didn't detect any bite to the silver-haired Samurai's words, so he knew that Gin was just saying what he said to act in character.

But nonetheless, Abuto and Tsumi hopped off the stage to help the others out with fighting the spirit. Abuto hadn't really realized it before, but the spirit had cloaked the warehouse in a fine dark mist, making it hard to see what was happening around him.

Abuto looked to Tsumi for clarification on the mist, but all she did was hand him the Kimono she had spelled before and a small metal box with the image of a sparrow-hawk on it, "You should only need one, but I had two made just in case."

Abuto opened the box in the girl's hand and saw that there were two small silver bullets; the realization dawned on him that these were the bullets that would eradicate the spirit. Abuto then took the bullets out of the box and loaded them into his umbrella-gun.

Seeing that Tsumi was still looking at him expectantly, he asked, "So, what am I supposed to do with the Kimono you spelled?"

Tsumi smiled, "Well, I was hoping you'd fan it to dispel this mist…"

"Yeah," Abuto interrupted, "well that's probably a little difficult for me seeing as I need my arm to carry my umbrella at the moment."

Tsumi gave Abuto a look that said, 'don't treat me like I'm stupid', aloud she said, "I know that. If you had let me finish, you would have heard me say that I would dispel the mist instead."

"Then why didn't you say so in the first place?" Abuto said trying to make light of the situation

Tsumi arched an eyebrow, seeing that Abuto was trying to make amends and nodded, "Indeed, why didn't I?" she then unfolded the garment and began to wave it in the air like a large fan. At first, nothing happened, making Abuto think that the psychic girl looked waving the low cut Kimono around.

But then, Abuto saw the blue glow from before and the mist started receding. As the mist faded away, Abuto thought he heard something hiss in extreme pain; he imagined it that the mist was actually part of the spirit's body, and that erasing the mist must feel like a limb was being hacked off. Abuto empathized with the spirit's pain but did not sympathize, after all it the spirit's fault that he'd been dragged into this whole mess.

Once the mist was gone completely, Abuto saw the Yorozuya trio, Katsura, and Elizabeth fighting what looked to be shadows of themselves. The shadow-like things looked to have almost the same abilities as the originals, so the gang seemed to be having a rather hard beating the shadows.

Abuto then asked the first thing that came to mind, "What are you guys fighting?"

After a punch that would knock out any normal person, Kagura's shadow thing fell to the ground. The red-haired Yato then turned to Abuto and said cheerfully (a tone of voice that reminded Abuto very much of the admiral), "The witch leader extruded this weird shadow, uh-huh. Then it came out of her cape and passed through us. Luckily, you weren't hit by the shadow because Tsumi pushed you down, uh-huh. After that this weird mist sprouted out of nowhere and these shadow thingies popped up and started attacking us."

Just as Kagura finished her explanation, her shadow stood up again. Abuto was about to warn Kagura, but he didn't need to as Kagura turned immediately and began fighting the shadow again. For some reason, this made Abuto heave a small sigh of relief; he wasn't quite sure why, intellectually he knew perfectly well that Kagura was a capable fighter. But there was a small part of him (that would never see the light of day) that felt ever so slightly worried for the little sister of his boss. Abuto just chalked it up to worry that if something happened to her and Abuto hadn't done everything in his power to stop it, Kamui would be very unhappy with him.

Abuto started a little when Tsumi said to him, "Abuto-san, we need to look for the physical form of the spirit to stop those shadows."

"What does it look like?"

"Straight to the point this time, aren't we Abuto-san?" Tsumi winked and Abuto scowled

After a light chuckle, Tsumi continued, "As the name Kuro-Shinju implies, what we're looking for should be in the shape of a black pearl." Abuto nodded, wondering why the spirit would chose such an obvious physical form, but decided he didn't really feel like asking any more questions, so he started looking for the black pearl instead.

After a short, thorough search Abuto found the pearl in the worst possible place; Gin's Kimono, making Abuto wonder about the sanity of the spirit. Abuto cursed his horrible luck for the hundredth time that day and yelled, "Sakata, I know you're going to think this is a weird thing to ask for, but can you take off your Yukata for me?"

Abuto heard Gin snort and then say in a fake coy voice, "Why, Abu-chan, I didn't know you like me that way. But, unfortunately for you, a strip show is much more than you can afford."

Abuto growled, "That's not something I'd like to see, thank you very much. But the Yukata has to come off if you want the shadows to go away."

"Really, now, is that true?" Gin asked with a smirk, making Abuto wonder about why Gin thought teasing was a good idea at the moment

"Yes," Abuto ground out, "yes it is true. And if you do this for me…I'll pay you t-triple of whatever you're going to charge me."

Abuto wasn't sure why he'd brought up money, but whatever he'd said seemed to work for Gin. Abuto couldn't believe he was even thinking this, but for the first time in his life, he was glad to see another man taking off his clothes…man, had he sunk low in his mind.

Gin then threw his Yukata up in the air and Abuto aimed his gun at the pearl which was gleaming darkly. Abuto took a second to steady his arm, and then shot at the pearl. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as the bullet smashed into the pearl. And then, everything exploded in bright, white light.

**And that is the end of this chapter. I'm evil, aren't I ^_^ well at least you'll only have to wait a week. In related news, I have decided to make this story 19 chapters. I sorta wanted to do 20 chapters, but I don't think I have enough ideas for three chapters. Also, if you guys are wondering why there was a sparrow-hawk on the Tsumi's box, Tsumi means sparrow-hawk…somehow, the names I create for my original characters don't seem so interesting once I've explained them to you guys…Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the second to last chapter ^_^. As always, if you'd like please leave a review, I always love to know what you guys think. See y'all next week!**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	19. Maybe, His Life Ain't So Bad After All

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. Here is the last chapter of **_**Why the Hell do All the Bad Things Happen to Me…**_**I think I'll just let you read the chapter, and talk later on. I hope you all enjoy the last chapter ^_^**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei…but damn I wish I did own Gintama, that would be awesome.**_

Wincing as the explosion engulfed the warehouse in its bright light; Abuto wondered why Mikazuki Tsumi couldn't have warned Abuto about this earlier. Would it really have been that hard for the witch girl to say, 'Hey, Abuto-san, when you shoot the black pearl it's going to explode in a fiery white light'? Apparently it was, since no such warning or apology of any sort came from Tsumi at all.

Abuto sighed slightly as he put his umbrella up to cover himself from any further damage this small sun-like light could do, thinking, 'Well, at least this will all be over with soon and I can get back to my not-so-ordinary life with my psychopathic boss.'

Abuto blinked as the light slowly faded, glad he was able to see again. The sandy-haired Yato looked around to inspect whatever damage had been done to the warehouse. The roof, to put it plainly, was in shambles; Abuto felt a twinge of happiness that he'd been the one to cause all this damage (after all, what's the point of having monstrous strength, if you aren't able to inflict the occasional destruction of property).

Abuto's somewhat prideful thoughts about the damage he'd done to the shabby warehouse were interrupted when Gin said irritably, "Oi, couldn't you have warned us about the light show?"

Abuto chuckled and turned his palms upward in innocence, "Sakata, I would have told you if I had known. But I had no idea what was going to happen when I shot that bullet."

"Sure you didn't," Gin said sarcastically, Abuto could feel his rolling his eyes in annoyance, "just like you didn't enjoy seeing me taking off my Kimono."

"How right you are," Abuto said with a dark scowl, "I did not enjoy seeing you strip just as I didn't know the explosion would be so bright."

Before Gin could say anything that would set the both of them off, Shinpachi spoke up, asking the question everyone wanted to know the answer to, "So, is it over?"

Abuto shrugged, "Probably, I doubt that spirit's going to be making another appearance any time soon."

"Yeah," Kagura added, "you were really cool Abu-chan, blasting that thing away like you did, uh-huh."

Abuto chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head, "Yeah…I guess I was pretty cool, wasn't I?"

"Oh, don't get ahead of yourself," Gin said grumpily, "You weren't that cool. Besides, I'm the main character, not you, so you can't look cooler than me."

"Oh, shush, Gin-san." Shinpachi admonished for Abuto's sake, "You're still the main character. You can still let have someone have the spotlight for a little while, can't you? I mean, it's not like you're going to stop being the main character if you let someone else have the chance to shine, y'know."

Kagura nodded in agreement, "Yeah Gin-chan, you should give us a turn too, uh-huh. If we got as much screen time as you, we'd have the number one spot in the popularity poll."

"Um…" Gin said sweatdropping, "I thought we were talking about Abuto…You just want more screen time don't you? Don't blame me if the author can't do you as well as she does me."

Kagura glared at Gin, "You're wrong Gin-chan. Tsu-chan does me just fine, uh-huh! And you're right; we were talking about Abu-chan! He deserves way more screen time than you, you dumb perm-head."

"Eh?" Abuto said nervously as Gin turned to level a glare at him, "How did this turn into an argument over who gets more screen time…?"

Gin's glare sharpened, but before he could say anything else, Katsura came up to Mikazuki Tsumi looking slightly hysterical, "Tsumi-dono, can you help dispel the curse on Elizabeth?"

Tsumi, blinking in confusion that she had been addressed by Katsura, looked at the long haired Joui member and asked, "What curse?"

Katsura, looking scandalized, practically shouted, "How could you forget? You cursed my poor Elizabeth when you cursed A…buto-dono."

"I…did?" Tsumi asked more confused than before

"Oh, don't mind him," Gin said, jabbing a finger in Katsura's direction, "Zura has an overactive imagination. I'm pretty sure Elizabeth wasn't cursed, so don't worry."

After Katsura's indignant "It's not Zura, it's Katsura!" Tsumi walked over to the duck-penguin and started walking around it, looking for signs of a curse.

After a few seconds, she turned back to Katsura and said soothingly, "I don't think you're…Elizabeth has been cursed. It seems to me that…he's just an old man wearing a duck costume. But, you might want to get him checked out anyway; I don't think people normally wear duck costumes normally…"

At that Gin burst out laughing, "Zura, I think the witch girl's right, you should go get Elizabeth checked out. Any old man who's been wearing a duck costume for so long probably needs his head shrinked."

"Noo," Katsura wailed, "You're all wrong, Elizabeth is cursed! She has to be, she's gotten so much hairier recently, that the only explanation is that she was cursed—"

And then Katsura was smacked with a sign of Elizabeth's that read _Katsura-san, for the last time, I'm not cursed!_

Katsura, rubbing his head, looked at Elizabeth and said, "But, Elizabeth, how else could your legs have grown so much hair in such a short time. I know you don't like to talk about you illness, but this is the worst it's ever been!"

Elizabeth, sweatdropped, not really knowing what to write to Katsura now. After a moment, she wrote something hurriedly on another sign, _I'm not cursed Katsura-san, there's nothing for you to worry about._

Katsura pursed his lips in concern for his duck-y companion. But before he could say anything else, there was a low rumbling sound that almost sounded like a laugh to Abuto's ears. Then a raspy, deep voice growled, "So you're celebrating now that you've defeated your enemy are you? I'm afraid your celebration comes a little too early!"

Tsumi, eyes narrowing said, "I'm amazed, Kuro-Shinju, that you were able to take a shot and still survive."

Abuto groaned, "You're kidding right? I didn't kill it? Why do enemies like this have to be so hard to kill?"

Gin, smirking triumphantly, said to Kagura, "See, he's not so cool after all, is he, Kagura-chan? If it had been me, I would have taken that spirit out in one hit!"

Kagura, rolled her eyes, "I doubt that Gin-chan. If it were you fighting, this battle would take even longer, uh-huh!"

Gin, shocked that Kagura would say such a thing, was about to retort, but was interrupted by the spirit, "Of course I was able to withstand your attempt to destroy me. I made sure to split my physical form into two parts just in case you were planning something like this."

"I hate to point this out," Abuto said, feeling extremely tired of this whole ordeal, "but now that you've told us what you've done, all we have to do is look for the other pearl."

"Ha," the spirit barked, a cackling face appearing in the air, "as if I would let that happen. I made sure to hide my second pearl in a place you will never find it."

Abuto sighed and Gin groaned, "Gah, how many times have I heard bad guys say that now? We are going to eventually find your precious pearl. And then, Abuto here is going to destroy it. I'd do it myself, but I'm really not very good with guns. And I've decided that Shinpachi is right for once, I should let someone have the spotlight for once, I'm way too lazy to be the main character all the time."

Everyone left in the warehouse seemed too stunned to talk for a moment. It was Abuto who eventually broke the silence with, "Amazing, Sakata, I never knew you could be so generous. I always thought you were the type to keep what they wanted to themselves and not share no matter what."

"Humph," Gin scoffed, "shows what you know, doesn't Abu-chan. I like to surprise people with my magnanimousness all the time. So find that other pearl already, before I change my mind."

Just as Gin finished speaking, the shadow things from before appeared again and Gin had to start fighting again. For some reason Abuto didn't quite feel like figuring out, neither he nor Tsumi had to fight off a shadow thing. So, with one last look at Gin, Abuto started searching for the other pearl.

After searching for a little while, Abuto feeling impatient, turned to Mikazuki Tsumi and asked, "So, do you have any idea where the second pearl could be?"

Tsumi shook her head, "No, no idea. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but I had a second bullet made just in case."

Abuto sighed, "Of course you had a second bullet made. Well, let's hope we find this damn pearl soon, I'm tired of being in Yoshiwara…man, never thought I'd say that."

Tsumi chuckled lightly, "Neither did I Abuto-san. It seems to me that a man of your…caliber would need to come here a lot."

Abuto's jaw dropped and he felt a flush creeping up his neck. After a second of stunned silence, Abuto groaned, "Tsumi, why'd you have to go and say that? All you're doing is reminding me of what I can't do?"

Tsumi's eyes alight with amusement, teased playfully, "Then maybe you should tell your admiral about that problem of yours." And with one final wink, the psychic girl went back to looking for the pearl. Abuto, rubbing his forehead in order to keep the headache he could feel coming at bay, went back to searching as well. As he searched he wondered why all the people around him were such weirdoes.

After another while of fruitless searching, Abuto's ears pricked up when he thought he heard laughter. Following the sound, Abuto found himself in what looked to be the darkest corner of the warehouse. Hearing the laughter very closely now, Abuto started searching for the pearl.

As if sensing Abuto was there, the spirit's laughter escalated from a low chuckle to a hearty belly-laugh. Then the Spirit said aloud, probably to itself, "Those fools will never find me here in this dark corner. Their lesser eyes will never be able to spot me here without some sort of light."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Abuto said, putting the barrel of his umbrella-gun against the fully-exposed black pearl, "Us Yato have excellent night vision, as we tend to do most everything at night to stay away from the sun's burning gaze."

Abuto could swear he heard the spirit gulp nervously before it said, "If you spare me, I can give you power beyond your wildest dreams."

Abuto sighed before putting his finger on the trigger, "No thanks, I already have quite enough power, thank you very much."

The spirit, desperate now, made one last attempt to get Abuto to spare it, "If you don't purify me, I'll help you get your arm back."

Abuto chuckled, "Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll skip. Anyways, it's been too long; I wouldn't know what to do with a second arm. So, I believe our conversation has come to an end."

Before the spirit could protest any further, Abuto smiled darkly as he pulled the trigger, saying "Abayo Spirit-san, I hope to never see you again." As the bullet cracked the second black pearl.

With another blindingly bright flash of light and a faint scream, the Kuro-Shinju spirit was cleansed. After the light faded again, Abuto looked around to make sure the building wasn't going to come crashing down on them any time soon; that was one thing he really didn't want to have to deal with right now.

As he turned around, Abuto saw Mikazuki Tsumi smiling softly at him, "Thank you Abuto-san, now I can restart the Yorugao Association up again."

Abuto nodded, "You're welcome, it's not like I had much of a choice, though. It was either help you out or live as a woman…As I said, not much of a choice."

Abuto then heard Gin say sarcastically, "I think you should have stayed a woman, you seemed to be having a lot of fun in your new role."

"Oh really," Abuto growled, "You're not just saying that because you wanted 'Akari' as your lover?"

Before Gin could respond, Shinpachi spoke up, "I think it's time we get out of here before anything else happens."

Tsumi, nodding in agreement with Shinpachi's statement walked up to Abuto and kissed him on the cheek, "Thank you again, Abuto-san. Without your help, I don't know what I would have done." She then turned around and headed back to the stage, leaving Abuto feeling a little dazed.

Once the witch girl was back to the place where her mother collapsed, she picked the witch leader up an addressed the Yorozuya trio, Katsura, Elizabeth, and Abuto, "Thank you for helping me out everyone. I will never forget the kindness you have done for me. I hope to see you all again in the near future." And with a loud poof, the witch girl and her mother left the warehouse.

Seeing that their reason for being in the warehouse was gone, everyone else walked out. Katsura was the slowest coming out, though, because he seemed genuinely upset that he couldn't cure Elizabeth's 'curse'.

Once Katsura was finally out of the warehouse, Gin said to his old comrade impatiently, "Zura, if you don't hurry up, I'm going to take Elizabeth to one of my favorite joints in Yoshiwara and…"

Gin trailed off as Katsura seemed to spring into action. The long haired Samurai grabbed Elizabeth and started running toward the direction Yoshiwara's exit. After a minute, Katsura shouted back at Gin, "That won't be necessary Gintoki! Elizabeth shouldn't be around your bad influence any longer! We'll see you later."

When Katsura was out of sight, Gin sighed, "So, shall we head back to the surface ourselves?"

* * *

Back in Gin's apartment, Abuto started gathering what little stuff of his he had lying around the permed Samurai's slowly. It wasn't that he was sad exactly to be leaving, but he didn't really want to return to the ship only to do more work. So, the sandy-haired Yato decided to procrastinate by picking up his things as slowly as possible.

But soon, Abuto ran out of things to pick up, so with a sigh he began walking toward the door; not really feeling like prolonging his visit with any sort of goodbyes, tearful or otherwise. But, of course, the Yorozuya Trio seemed to have other plans for him.

As Abuto was about to open the door, Gin called out, "Oi, Abuto, aren't you forgetting something?"

Abuto, raisin an eyebrow, turned around and was met with Gin's outstretched hand that seemed to say 'payment please'. Abuto, struck with a sudden idea, gave Gin a beatific smile and said, "Oh, of course, how could I forget, I have to pay you."

A smile appeared on Gin's face as Abuto fished out a certain bag from his cloak. Once the bag was in Gin's hand and Gin looked inside it, though, the smile faded into a scowl very quickly. "What the hell is this?" Gin growled angrily, opening the bag so that Kagura and Shinpachi could see that it was the bag that held the lingerie that Abuto had bought earlier.

Abuto smirked at the perm-headed Samurai, "Payment," he said with a sadistic glint in his eye, "I thought you'd particularly enjoy these lovely garments to remember our time together."

With that, Abuto went through the door, leaving Gin staring on in annoyed silence. As Abuto was walking down the stars, he heard Kagura yell, "Bye Abu-chan, say 'hi' to my Aniki for me, uh-huh!"

After that, Shinpachi added, "Be careful on your way home, Abuto-san."

Chuckling at Shinpachi's unnecessary cautioning words, Abuto descended the rest of the stairs with a large grin on his face. When the sandy-haired Yato was under the Yorozuya's window, he felt something soft plop onto his head.

Looking up, he saw a lacy bra strap fall into his face and he heard Gin shout, "Your change, sir, you gave me a little too much as payment."

Abuto laughed aloud then and, after stuffing the bra into his cloak, raised a hand lazily and said, "Abayo Sakata."

* * *

When Abuto arrived back at the ship, he hadn't been expecting any sort of greeting. But, as he got closer to the large flying vessel, a certain one-eyed man said, "It's good to see that you made it back in one piece. Your boss wouldn't have been very pleased if you came back any other way."

"I'm sure you really care about what Kamui thinks of me, don't you?"

"Oh, but I do," Takasugi drawled, taking a drag on his pipe, "if you weren't around, he would be much harder to deal with."

Abuto rolled his eyes, not really wanting to deal with the revenge-obsessed Takasugi at the moment. Striding past Takasugi, Abuto said, "If that's all you wanted to say, I must be going. I have paperwork waiting for me."

"There's only one more thing," Takasugi said, inspecting his pipe, "I hope you haven't gotten too fond of my old comrade. There will be a time that he and those other two will get in the way of our plans, so I hope you'll be able to strike them down if necessary."

"Don't worry about me." Was all Abuto said as he made his way up the gangplank of the ship.

When Abuto made it to his room, he saw a giant stack of papers waiting for him. With a sigh, Abuto put his stuff down and got to work; seeing that Kamui had kept his promise to not do any paperwork before Abuto came back.

After a few hours of mind-numbing work, there was a knock on his door. Tiredly, Abuto said, "Come in, the door isn't locked."

But instead of a person coming into his room, an envelope was slid under Abuto's door. Curious, Abuto set down the form he was filling out (a very long and very boring load of crap about intergalactic space travel), and went to see what the envelope was.

Inside the envelope was a letter and some photos. The letter read: _Abuto-san, as a thank you for helping me out, I have enclosed some photos for you to remember your time as a woman. I know it's not much, but I hope you look at these pictures and remember this time fondly. -__朏ツミ_

Abuto smiled at Mikazuki Tsumi's unnecessary formality and began looking at the photos. Many of the pictures were candid shots of him as a woman. There was one of him punching that stupid gang leader, one of him playing Pachinko with Sakata, etc.

The last photo in the bunch, though, made a hot, angry flush creep up Abuto's neck; somehow the witch girl had managed to snap a photo of that time when he had been dreaming of Kada and had ended up kissing Gin.

Flush creeping up to his ears, Abuto thought, 'How the hell did she manage to take these shots?'

Just then Abuto heard a knock at his door and a familiar cheerful voice call out, "Abuto, have you finished that paperwork yet? Most of it's due today."

Sighing, Abuto stuffed the pictures back into the envelope and put the envelope into his cloak, hoping Kamui wouldn't find it for a long time. But, somehow Abuto imagined Kamui was going to find the pictures somehow or other. All the bad things did tend to happen to poor old Abuto, after all.

"Yes admiral, I've almost finished the paperwork you should have done." Abuto called out in response, knowing his life was returning to what it normally was; work, work, and more work.

**完 ****(The End)**

**And that, dear readers, is the end of this silly story. I had so much fun writing this story. And I am a little sad that it's over, but that just means I'll have to entertain you all with another story ^_^. I am amazed at how much positive response this story got. And I thank you all for reading to the end. As always, if you'd like leave a review, I always love to know what you guys think. I hope you enjoyed this story, and I hope to see you all next story as well! So, until then, goodbye ^_^**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


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